I remember an ex-friend of mine shunned me for making people uncomfortable by always telling the truth and calling my own friends out for only using me out of happenstance. He sent the group chat a photo of them at a party when they said I couldn't go to the party because it was canceled. When my ex-friend sent the picture, I was devastated and confronted them in the group chat since I wasn't part of their personal group chat. I was shunned for making them exhausted and uncomfortable. I was hurt. To this day, I still am. And I have a raw feeling that he's dating the one I was in love with. And that girl, I fought with her when I learned about the photo.
Though, as trivial as it was, I eloquently apologized to them, though I knew their hypocrisy. I tried to be the bigger man. I tried to be someone I wasn't. The hardest thing was to apologize to her. Yes, I did go too far when I argued with her and hurt her by yelling at her through text, but it was a fight. And she ended our friendship because of a fight. Because I said all that. Because I hurt her. But I knew the real reason was because I was different. I am different. I am not normal. So, I was practically kicked out of the group chat by this individual. This ex friend. A representation of the poisonous cruelty society has for my kind and my kind alone. This novel is dedicated to my friends I have now, and I no longer have, and to the Blockmates who rejected me. Block B, I will always remember you, both positively and negatively.
Alas, it is humanity that reminds us that humans are gods... and the monsters are those that do not conform to their truth, their decision, their standard. There is a golden standard that reminds us the horrific truths. My beloved relatives remind me to give hope. I am indeed hopeful, but we should never be ashamed of writing about the ugly truth. This world is a world controled by media, by politics, and by gods and monsters, and men, as beautiful as we are gods, can be as ugly in the inside just like the monsters. I do not forgive the people who shunned me. I tried my best to love them as I did, but I was abandoned, humiliated, and shunned by a person who thought deserved my friendship. But I will decide to forgive now, but I will NEVER FORGET the poison that runs through the veins of our society. Cruelty for the different. Cruelty for what the majority count as bizarre and the ableist desire to dominate over them. It is truly sad that many sided with this individual because they twisted the truth. They twisted it and choked it like the snake they were. My aunt, my beloved aunt, told me there are three types of friends. Comrades, constituents, and confidants. I thought they were my confidants. Confidants, fater all, love you for the rest of your lives. Comrades? The enemy of my enemy is my friend. But Constituents? The friends who constitute you as friends only to achieve a certain goal, and once you are used, you are henceforth abandoned. That is what they were. That is what I was to them. And, for that, I wanted to despise them, but I learned this was normal. It is best for us to move on, but let me remind the world to be better for the sake of togetherness.
I... was at fault as well. The person felt invalidated by my words. I was someone who caused them pain. The person I was particularly in love with. They felt invalidated because I told them I didn't care. And that hurt. So, this is the story of how I come to terms with every painful moment in my life... I am the one who was obviously in the wrong, but that moment, where I argued with the one I loved and broke their heart immensely, causing them to cry, confused me. I was confused because I saw the world as black and white. Now, I see things in a different pattern, yet still in patterns. I hurt them. Told them they never cared and their sacrifices meant nothing. I am terrible for this. I am a red flag because I am autistic, and I caused people to be disgusted with my kind. This series is a testament of how much I valued them. All of them. From Block B to my own friends, Hannah, Victor, Hanna, Sien, Fatima, Tupe, Darlene, Princess, Allyssa, Paul, and many others. This is my apology. It took so long, but I am sorry. The purpose of this series is not only to show the struggles of neurodivergent people, but to try my best in understanding the neurotypicals in the best of my power.
If you find this story on Amazon, be aware that it has been stolen. Please report the infringement.
Maharlica
Volume I: The Aswang King
Chapter 1: The Aswang King
Miguel looks up to the beautiful black sky with twinkling stars up above him. His eyes sparkled upon the sight of the beautiful and bountiful meteor shower that dripped from the cold black spiral of space, bringing light into the misty black waters. Miguel smiles, looking up to see Anna's face. "Like I said... It feels iconic..."
Anna, who allowed Miguel's head to rest on her lap, giggles softly. "Promise me, Miguel... If I'm not around... You'd do the right thing in the end." She brushes his hair, feeling the warm touch of his hair. He smelled like cologne. She liked it. Quite a luxurious day, was it? Not really. Miguel was just in a fight in Prom. He's tired... Beaten... and bruised... "How much more fights could you handle... would you handle...? Just to protect us...?"
"I found hope... I didn't mean anything... Back then... People bullied me, called me slurs... Called me an animal for being a monster, an Aswang."
"Is that bad?"
"Did you want me to embrace it?"
"I wanted you to keep fighting against it. That's always been what God's been telling you to do. To fight against cruelty. For Satan loves reaping in the shadows."
"Humans suck," said Miguel, feeling like he's suffocating.
"They're not all bad. Tyrone saved your ass out there."
"Mhm." Miguel tilts his head away from Anna's face, looking at the beautiful city of glowing lights this time. Crickets chirped around their farmhouse, but he looked south and saw the city of which they lived in the outskirts of. It was bustling. It was beautiful. Burnham City was a beautiful place, filled with trash and stray cats, but something that felt like home. He smelled the scents from the distance. Balut Vendors in the suburbs. Prostitute men and women laughing, sharing a good time before the darkness of their later hours come. Students drinking in a bar above a hotel. Men and women dancing in a rave. Jeepneys were everywhere, delivering people to their homes and their jobs. Some people smoked, ignoring Prometheus' latest ordinance or worked around it by vaping. Kids, who were foolish, walked around in the streets playing an augmented reality video game. Miguel smelled the homeless, who were starving and sleeping under the overpass bridges of the city/ But some were kind enough to give a coin. Others would eat rotten fruit and vegetables to survive, but at least they prayed that evening. The Cathedral was jam-packed with people. The Priest humorously read from the pages of the script rather than delivering a proper homily.
"Sensory overload?" asked Anna
"Yeah..." said Miguel, with his eyes furiously trying to look for an answer, twitching and looking around, before staring with immediate nonsense in his pupils. "Sensory overload." He stares into nothingness... Staring blankly... As if his eyes had no function at all.
"Lock into one thing, Miguel. One at a time." Anna looked at the city as well. She smiles, seeing lights. "The lights are pretty."
"Good for you. I can see beyond that. It's terrifying."
"Yeah. That's why we're training to be something more..."
Miguel gives a soft sigh as a spark of flames leave his mouth. "Alright."
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5... Years... Later...
Miguel sobbed, silently, carrying Anna's body. Everyone was horrified and in disarray from Morningstar Prime's attack. Miguel roars angrily, crying.
Prime backs away, in horror. "I'm sorry. I'm so, so sorry."
Meanwhile...
Myrmex pants in pain, bleeding on the ground of Mars. She is bruised and is shown to have been beaten to a near pulp. The coarse sand burning her skin began shaking, and something, no, someone, landed before her.
She closes her eyes as a looming threat begins to approach her.