"A president is not a king. No less an emperor. If this happens to the current prez and peeps switch sides again and we were proven right, the rest of the nation had insulted us already. All that is left is the pieces of democracy we are left to gather for ourselves," said Beatle, sighing while typing into his laptop and making paperwork.
"Narciso... is a man... of great power. My vote goes to him."
"And why is that?" asked Beatle.
"Because he's the most popular of all the candidates we know. He is one of the people."
"You are led to believe that a crazed criminal against humanity asshole is President-worthy because he did a silly TikTok dance?"
"Well... He looks up to Thanos. A Marvel Superhero. Described himself as a great hero like Thanos-..."
"A literal genocidal fucking warlord?"
"Ah... You're a Bilogano. Believer of the Rodricks."
"Always has been. What the shit do you think you're doing?"
"What do you mean?" asked the man.
"You're clearly an intelligent fellow. Good grades. But doesn't seem to know the research of what Narciso is known for. Killings of political rivals advertised and sponsored like a fuckin' Hunger Games death match. People's children died because they were incorrectly killed by his little drug war without attacking the criminal mobsters who they know for sure since they HAD A FUCKING LIST RIGHT UNDER THEIR TABLE!!!"
"You don't know that for sure.."
"I do."
"Proof?"
"I sent him the fuckmothering list."
"You think he'd listen to a vigilante?"
"I'm the Saint King."
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"A simple title for an overzealous pastor. Biloganos are elitists."
"Bilogano literally means 'liberal'."
"Narciso is a liberal."
"Narciso has no actual fucking ideology. He stands for gay rights while at the same time is strengthening the Philippine army. If anything, he's a dumbass for not knowing what to do."
"He cleaned the streets full of criminals."
"And yet they still lurk. What the hell is your point?"
"MY POINT IS OUR LEADER HAD BEEN TRIED BY THE MULTIVERSAL COURT!!! We want you to be our lawyer. PLEASE!!! You have the religious and legal right to speak for him."
"Kid... You're probably one of his attorneys. Yer name's Mitch, right? Can I call ya Mitch?"
"My name is David."
"Aight, DAVE. Lemme tell ya sumthin'... Walk... away..."
"What!?"
"Walk away. It's not worth defending a Interdimensional tyrant and be remembered as a man who defended said tyrant."
"He's not a tyrant. He's a genuine man who only wanted-..."
"-to be a savior. I know. Tell me, Mitch."
"Dave."
"Whatever. Have you ever killed someone with your bare hands?"
"You a murderer?"
"No. More like a soldier. Now, have you?"
"No. Of course, not."
"Has he... ever killed anyone with his bare hands?"
"Yes."
"Then why do you stand for him? If you have the balls to talk for him, go on. Why stand for him?"
"He was keeping peace in the country."
"Yet in doing so, rather than diplomatically creating a law to lessen crime and enforce a better law, you defend a man who told his officers to kill on sight anyone with drugs on their pockets, regardless of due process."
"That's justice."
"What if I planted a drug on you and just... pushed you out of my office and asked them to kill you?"
The man stayed silent.
"Exactly. Now, let. It. Go. You voted for Narciso. He's just the beginning. Sooner or later, another more extreme leader is going to have to pick up the pieces and start once more what he started. So, do so wisely and walk... away."
The man bounces his leg, stressed out. "I'm begging you, attorney."
"No. Again. Walk away. Last chance of you not putting a bullet in your head in... I'll give ya six months. Tops."
"I will forever be loyal to our President."
Beatle sighs and facepalms. "Good luck, then. God bless. You're gonna need both. UTMOSTLY."
Beatle sighs, as David walks away. "Poor, kid." Suddenly, the radio switches to "Apt." and Beatle smiles. "FUCK YEAH!!! MY FAVORITE SONG!!!" Beatle proceeds to TikTok dance and Fortnite dance. "Kissy face! Kissy face! That's what I'm on, yeah!"
Black opens the door and Beatle fixes himself. "My Lord. I believe Atty. David just... got shot... walking out of the office."
"He alive?"
"Yes."
"Call the hospital. Imma continue my dance."
"Wh-? I've known you for 800 plus years. I refuse to want to understand you."
"Fuck yeah! No non-autists in this club allowed! Take the L and move on, NORMIE!!!"
Black sighs and walks away. "You're lucky you're cute."
"DAMNED STRAIGHT!!! KRRRYEEAH!!!" roared Beatle.
"Don't you hate this song?"
"It's called upbeat nihilism! GOD, I WANNA COMMIT A TOASTER BATH!!!"