"War... is a frivolous thing, little girl," said Prometheus.
Billy and Gabrielle, wearing their little mittens and thick little overalls, cuddled with Beatle and Sabbath to warm themself from the cold.
Prometheus sighed as the jeep continued to charge into the snow, plowing the snow away using its massive shields in the front.
Death Leopard continued with maintenance, tinkering with the gears and wires to keep the heaters running.
Panthera continued driving while Green Day checked the radars for alien movements in the snow.
Beatle reveals a jar of honey made from Gi-Ants and begins cooking at the back of the gigantic jeep. He cooked finely grilled Tocino with a side of Silog, thus recreating the ancient Filipino dish, the Tocilog. He also cooked along with it a sisig made from the Manhog's head, finely cooking its meats and juices. "Honestly, the Westerners fear this delectable dish... The... Sisig. Made from a boar's head, eyes, nose, ears..." Beatle smells the spice's aromas. "It's pretty damned good... The boar's head is quite exquisite for a Filipino man. But they almost never take it with an open mind. Meanwhile, they eat that schlobb from Fast Food restaurants. Apparently, chemicals and poison taste better when it doesn't look like chicken feet."
"Lol," said Billy, being served the Sisig as she eats it with a starving stomach.
"Glad I raised you to enjoy my food," smiled Beatle, respectfully nodding.
Sabbath smiles as she continues with reading Gabrielle a bedtime story, called "Juan Tamad".
Sabbath smiles. "Y'know. That meal isn't just schlopp... it's a reminder of what we once were prior to us being gods. A humble nation who ate simple foods... trying to survive with what we have."
Billy nods. "Yep! I love this stuff!"
"Same, dude!" smiled Gabrielle.
Prometheus gazes out into the white void outside.
"It'd be nice if you help out," said Beatle.
"I am. I'm looking out for predators," said Prometheus.
"Seems just you're monologuing a lot. Plus, we already have Green Day."
"Psh. Radars catch things that move. Things that don't move, however... We'd be sitting ducks."
"Mmm..." said Beatle, only to hear critters nearby. "Roaches... I sense... roaches..."
"Shit..." said Prometheus, taking out his bubbles.
"Roaches?" asked Billy. "What are those?"
"They are uh... mutated bugs that eat people... Don't worry about it," said Beatle.
"Yay! I have somethin' IN COMMON with them!" he cried out with incredible vexation as everyone then screamed just as the jeepney ended up crashing into the coast.
Everyone slowly opens their eyes and sees that they've been retrieved by a tribe of fishermen.
Everyone except Beatle and Prometheus armed themselves with their individual weapons only for the village elder to bow before Beatle.
"We apologize!" yelled the elder. "We mean no harm! We shouldn't have touched you, great Beatle, but we wished to save you!"
Beatle sighs. "Crusaders. Stand down. These people are on our side, I believe."
That evening, the Crusaders are fed slabs of smoked and raw Snowfin Tuna. This village mysteriously had Japanese food and Japanese-inspired food.
"Years ago, a group of Haps settled here in our Barangay. They taught us their culture. We are known as the Katipunang Hapones ng Pilipinas. Just call us the Kat-Haps. We... are a hybrid race hailing from Tokyo and the great ancient Kingdom of Clark. Koreans and other foreigners who decided to settle here went here and became the Kat-Haps."
You could be reading stolen content. Head to the original site for the genuine story.
"Explains the dark skins some of you have. So, this is what happened to the Aetas, hm? And the Koreans and the Japanese people who uh.. had nowhere else to go."
"Bat soup?" smiled a man next to Beatle.
"Sure, dude!" smiled Beatle, taking a sip.
"Um..." said Bily. "My family once told me that bats have rabise."
"Clean!" smiled the woman, as Billy smiled and took a bite. "Hm! Taste like beefy shark's fin..."
Sushi, sashimi, beef gyoza, pork samgyeupsal, teriyaki chicken, monkey drumsticks, dimsum, roast black chicken, and so much noodles like ramen, ramyeun, and various Chinese noodle soups. Their main course is the meat seared from a fattened calf.
Meanwhile, Mars finishes strangling one of the villagers. "Where... is he...?"
"I will never betray the Lord our God... Betraying him means betraying my Lord."
Mars slits the man's throat with his vambrace and he drops dead.
Mars sighs as he picks up another villager.
"Why are you doing this?" sobbed the villager.
"Same with every fucker in this God-forsaken world. Fear," said Mars, as he threatened the villager. "WHERE ARE THEY!?!?"
Meanwhile...
Prometheus sighs as he sips some of the ramen's soup. "Seaweed... Miso... pesto sauce... and some squid ink... Naisu..." He cut the chopsticks into two and picked up some of the main dishes with the larger end of the sticks that stuck them together and used the pointed tips to eat. He took bites out of the meals.
"Other villages eat with scraps," said Beatle. "It's good your faction is blessed with your own harvests."
"Yeah... It's every man for himself at this point... or woman... or... those of... unspecified genders..." said Prometheus.
"Ah... May you join us for the execution?" asked the woman.
"Execution?" asked Beatle.
Later...
Beatle stares at a young queer boy in front of him.
Billy and Gabrielle cringed harder, but the Crusaders still cringed as well.
The boy sobs and cries. "Please... Don't kill me... My Lord! I'm sorry for having sinned!" he sobbed.
Beatle remembers...
Long ago...
Beatle is slapped across the face as his father walks away in disgust, throwing his laptop away. On the computer, as the light flickers, Beatle gazes upon his porn stash on his computer filled with effeminate beautiful men...
Now...
The Elder speaks. "Oh, great Man of God. Take him out... for according to-..."
"Leviticus 20:13... I know..." said Beatle. "My human father would never shut up about it. When a man beds another man as he beds with a woman..." Beatle immediately takes the blade and...
...cuts him free.
"...has committed an abomination.." he continued, as the villagers are horrified. "Then, say behold... I am God's abomination to man themself. Come, my Crusaders. We are unwelcomed here."
The elder walks up to them as he screams. "BLASPHEMING ABOMINATION!!!" he roared. "YOU ARE NOT OUR GOD!!! YOU ARE NOTHING!!! YOU ARE A FALSE!!! BEATLE WILL COME TO US!!! HE WILL!!! AND HE SHALL PUNISH YOU!!!"
"I already have... And your culture insults me. I exhaust. I thirst for men's finish."
"YOU DISGUSTING SWINE!!! NEVER RETURN TO THIS BARANGAY, EVER AGAIN!!!"
"I wasn't planning to..."
Prometheus' eye twitches as he turns around and prepares to bash the man's head in.
"Pro..." said Beatle.
"This fucker executes the queers..." said Prometheus. "You're just gonna let that happen?"
"It's their culture. It's their belief. But their belief insults me. So, leave them. Let them burn in Hell for killing those who merely wished to be themself."
"The Bible says-..."
"It's called the Old Testament for a reason. Christ was a Jew. I'm a Filipino Roman Catholic. You people are HapCaths. That means something. There is a difference between taking everything you read literally and reading between the lines. That always was the problem with my people."
"Why still pray? WHY STILL BELIEVE!?!?"
"Because I sin... And yet He still forgives me... He is there for me."
"You will be put to DEATH!!!"
"I already died. Died for your sins as my predecessor has. Your culture disgusts me. Let us agree to disagree. I've had enough bloodshed."
"AWAY FROM US!!!"
"Away from me, Satan."
"STOP THAT!!! We, are the ones in THE RIGHT!!!"
Beatle sighs. "My predecessor saved those ostracized as you ostracize me now. He dwelled with sinners, autists, lepers, and tax collectors." Beatle leans before him. "His acts are a New Testament of truth to this day. You stay with the old. This shall be my own Testament. A Testament of how fucked I made you idiots feel... Minus points to Heaven."
"Y-YOU CAN'T DO THAT!!!"
"I can, blud. Ooba dooba DO!!!" Beatle runs to his jeep as the Crusaders followed. Prometheus just flips the people off and walk away.
"THAT WASN'T THE TEACHING!!!" yelled the Elder. "SOLDIERS!!! ATTACK THEM!!!"
The soldiers did not move.
One soldier speaks up. "Sir... What if everything we've ever decided... was wrong?"
"But that is how we ALWAYS did it!"
"And yet he rebuked us! You were so SURE once before about him! What changes that, my Lord? HE IS OUR AVATAR!!! But you rebuke him because of a sin he committed?"
"THE ANOINTED COMMITS NO SINS!!! He is NO ANOINTED!!!"
"Didn't he kill a shrub because he got hangry one day?" asked one guy.
"We don't talk about that chapter."
"Didn't he whip a bunch of people and rage because people turned the temple into a market?"
"Fuck off, kindly."
"REBELLION!!!" yelled the people, as they proceeded to execute the elder...
Beatle just closed his eyes as the jeep drove off into the distance. Beatle whistles softly, annoyed and disgusted with those kinds of Humans.
"They're not all bad," said Prometheus.
"I can't believe YOU'RE telling ME that," said Beatle.
"Some of them changed. Believe me. I've seen them change."
"Hm... For me, I never did," said Beatle.
"Well... Faith is to believe is to see, right?" smiled Prometheus.
Beatle sighs. "Fair. REJECT WOMEN!!! EMBRACE HOMOSEXUALITY!!!"