aters," said Chris.
"Prometheus used to say that the Units depend completely on the way we trade with other versions of Maharlica and other Multiversal entities out there."
"Bla bla bla... POPPYCOCK!!! Inflaters are real Miguel," said Jedan. "So are Lizard People."
"For the last time, politicians aren't lizard people," sighed Miguel. "Last week, I killed Bart the Blind Non-Binary."
"Mhm. We know. You kill everyone now," Jedan is saddened.
"Why ARE YOU SADDENED BY-!?!? Never mind..." sighed Miguel.
Suddenly, a man of high order speaks to Miguel.
"Oh! Uh... Hi," said Miguel.
"Hey. I am running for City Mayor," he smiled. "I am Hector Spazura. Thank you for your consideration."
"Wait... as in the Spazura crime family?" asked Miguel.
"I know about the sentiment, but I believe that the Spazura family legend is indeed a legacy of mine of which I am severely ashamed of. I promise to serve all of you well."
Chris smiles. "Well, you got my vote!"
Miguel senses his pheromones. "Hm."
Jedan is given a poster as well. "Huh... Aight... What's up, Miguel?"
"The Spazura crime family is a deadly crime family full of Manticores. A race of winged reptilian lions."
"So.... Lizard people," said Jedan.
Miguel sighs and facepalms. "Besides the point."
Jedan covers his ears. "Lalalalalaa!!! Not listening!"
"YEAH!!! NOT LISTENING!!!" yelled Chris, covering his ears as well.
"What I'm trying to say is that yes. They're Lizard People."
"Great!" smiled Jedan. "Chris, what are you doing?"
Chris has a screwdriver that he nearly stabbed his eardrums "Oh. Are we done?"
Jedan grabs the screwdriver and throws it in the dumpster next to them. "Where did you pick that up?"
"Ground."
"We have to investigate," said Miguel.
"You got a warrant?" smiled Jedan.
"Reaps knows these guys. He will..."
Chris smiles and pulls up a sword. "WE WILL SAVE NARNIA!!!"]
"Where did you get that!?" asked Miguel.
"Ground."
"This is a very dangerously-littered street," said Miguel.
Meanwhile...
"Ah... Manticores are beings that could change their faces, yes..."
"We have reason to believe that this politician is another version of me..."
"How'd you know?" asked Reaper's hologram.
"I smelled his pheromones. Same as mine."
"Ah... Gross."
"Does that make me related to the Spazuras? Or..."
"No... It is likely that he is their rumored adopted son... A Spazura who was adopted and turned one of them. He isn't an Aswang. No. He is a Manticore just like they are."
"What's so dangerous about them, anyway?" asked Jedan.
"They can turn into a creatuire with a lion's head, bat wings, a reptilian body, and a ferocious scorpion tail where, depending on the increase of poison, can range from paralysis to actually killing you."
"So... THERE ARE lizard people..." said Jedan.
The Reaper sighs. "Be careful, Miguel. The Major Arcana Prowls are the deadliest assassins in the Multiverse. Trying to pin one down to avoid another incident is even deadlier. This would be a statement of war against their tribe."
"Eh..! I'm tough!" smiled Miguel. "Plus, the challenge excites me! I can feel my nipples raging MILK!!!"
This tale has been pilfered from Royal Road. If found on Amazon, kindly file a report.
"Gross," said the Reaper, before dissipating the hologram.
"Crime families typically have connections with politics, especially in the Philippines. Never have I seen one up close before that a Spazura would run for Mayor. Plus, he's young."
Later... in the warehouse...
"Wow. Another Goddamned warehouse. Where every bad guy literally keeps their shit in tact. Hilarious," said Jedan.
"This is an agricultural warehouse the Spazura family keep their stuff in," said Miguel. "Storage for farming goods like corn, rice, sugarcane, y'know... The classics..."
"Let's get in there and kick some schnozz!!!" smiled Chris.
"Beginning to think you gained brain damage over the years," said Jedan.
Miguel teleports himself and the others through the electric fence.
"All Hail the Saint King," said Miguel. The trio sneak into the warehouse, and with Miguel sensing the breaths and heartbeats of their possible opponents, he signals them by nodding, allowing them to activate their individual powers.
Suddenly, Miguel pushes them away as an incredibly quick trail of lightning nearly trampled them over.
Miguel blasts flames at it as the trail of golden lightning kept on zooming around them at incredible speeds.
Miguel, Jedan, and Chris tank the injuries, where the entity stops, revealing a Manticore with a scorpion's tail.
Jedan blasts his fist toward the entity, nearly striking him with his stretchy fist, but is instead pricked by the pointed end by his speeding tail.
Jedan immediately falls to the ground and his body begins to melt and flop around on the ground.
Chris turns into a rock and blocks all of the entity's attacks with his stone body.
Chris blasts rock bullets at the entity who dodges his attacks. The entity manages to drill its scorpion tail into his chest, paralyzing Chris as well who falls to the ground, unconscious.
Miguel does an aerial Hell cartwheel kick and beats down the entity with his flaming foot.
Miguel crosses his arms, does his classic closed fists before releasing thumb, index, and middle, then unleashing the Hell Fire BLAST!!!
"HERU... FAIYAAAAAAA!!!"
The entity proceeds to twirl so quickly that a tornado of wind and lightning shattering the sound barrier tears Miguel's skin away.
Miguel survives the blast and regenerates, proceeding to teleport so quickly that somehow managed to catch up to the entity, furthering on doing a spinning high kick that manages to catch the Speed Demon and bruise his face.
He roars and crashes into the wall, proceeding to scamper around the ground like a lion and run on all fours so fast that it looks like a trail of lightning, proceeding to tackle Miguel and crush his ribs. He screams and roars, proceeding to beat the Manticore to the ground. He turns into an Aswang, as the Manticore growls, seeing a potential rival in him.
Miguel hammers his back over and over as the Manticore just tanked each heavy strike.
Miguel roars and even gnaws on the Manticore's neck, causing it to scream and slam him to the wall over and over.
Miguel is shown to have tanked most of the scorpion stings he received, regenerating almost immediately as a rubber fist knocks the Speed Demon in the face.
"I... AM... THE PRIDE EMPEROR!!!" he roared, before stabbing Miguel over and over with his scorpion tail, moving faster and quicker than ever before, causing Miguel to fall to his knees with blood and poison leaking out of his wounds.
"KRRR... KRRYEAAAH!!!" shrieked Miguel.
Jedan blasts several punches with his Rubber Rush, even his eyes glowing green for a short second.
Chris' eyes turn green as well, as he tackles and beats down the Speed Demon to the ground.
Chris and Jedan gang up on the creature, hammering their fists at the creature over and over as the Manticore takes advantage of Jedan's stretchiness, puncturing his chest with his tail and tearing through his heart, then stabbing Chris' chest as well.
Miguel growls and tackles the Manticore, as Chris and Jedan fall to the ground. For Chris, his thick rock skin managed to stop the blow, but for Jedan, he is paralyzed and nearly dying from the attack.
Chris can feel the acidity of the poison on his chest, nearly melting some of the rocks away and moved like frying oil on the surface of his stone skin.
Miguel just screams like an animal, preparing to beat the Manticore with his fists. Miguel turns into Diwata State and boosts his strength and speed, significantly, proceeding to beat the Manticore only for the Manticore to kick him twice and shattering his ribs significantly more.
Miguel snarls and blocks the Manticore's tail, which nearly strikes his head. He grabs it as it inches toward his face.
Miguel roars and does the unexpected, biting the pointed end with his bare mouth, proceeding to tear the scorpion tail off his body.
The Manticore screams in pain as Miguel boxes his chest over and over, breaking the Manticore's ribs.
Miguel double kicks his chin from below and does a backflip, landing on his feet and sliding away, proceeding to hammer his fist into his face over and over again, placing significant damage on his skull.
The Manticore loses his ability to move his legs and falls to his knees. The Manticore vibrates his body to slowly regenerate but Miguel brutally stops him, gaining red eyes as he beats him over and over, clawing his wounds and fractures, even managing to tear out a piece of his bone from his head.
The Manticore screams in pain and topples MIguel down with a single strike.
"Lions... are... sexist..." said Miguel, tired and wheezing. "But females are the badasses who do everything in the house. You're just an overrated snarling buffoon who thinks himself as Emperor. 'Pride Emperor?' You sound like a gay rights activism movement. And I have a bisexual father. And he even thinks the name is lame."
"I am gay."
"Doesn't mean your cool like my Dad."
"Ah... You're one of those Reaper harvests."
"Ah. You're one of those Benguet tourist spots. 'Lionhead', is it? Thought you'd have a smaller head in person. Because that head IS MASSIVE..."
"Stop talking."
"Ask again."
"That wasn't a request."
"Oh, sorry. I thought you asked a question on whether or not you will survive after your next statement... HELL COMET!!!" Miguel throws the attack and drills a hole into the Manticore's shoulder around the size of a quarter.
"HELL CLAP!!!" Miguel claps so loudly that it burns the Manticore alive, but the Manticore just stood there with intimidating ambivalence.
Miguel blasts several Fireballs around the Manticore and uses Hell Constrictor to burn him alive.
The Manticore runs around only for Miguel to do an Aerial Hell Cartwheel Kick and shatter his spin, but the Manticore elbows Miguel's spine just at the right spot, as they both fall to the ground.
Miguel slowly regenerates, but begins to feel the poison kicking in, proceeding to turn back into his regular monstrous form. Miguel shakes in pain, proceeding to slowly paralyze, falling to his knees.
Miguel tries to move but spasms and jerks around.
Miguel was quick enough to manage to block his next few attacks from his arms, despite being completely paralyzed from the waist down.
Miguel growls and inserts heat into the Manticore's veins which causes him to be puppeteered by Miguel.
Miguel roars and makes a crushing movement with his fingers, tearing him from the inside.
Miguel roars over and over, seeing his face turn back into Spazura from earlier, proceeding to kill him almost completely.
Miguel slowly faints. "The American Prez... Could also be... a lizard..."