/ Hail the Curtainbreaker / Chapter 172: Why You?

Chapter 172: Why You?

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That night, a pot of tea stood beneath the lamp in the small courtyard of their lodgings in the capital.

The day's account had been told, but no one in the courtyard felt sleepy. Pip and Cole sat against the veranda posts. Viola copied the record beneath the lamp. Old Vane slowly sipped his tea. Sharlo spread the gongche score over his knees, turned to the last page, and studied the line "No one is permitted to wake it" for a long time.

Then he asked the question. It had weighed on him for more than two years, ever since the lamp inscribed "Reserved for the Curtainbreaker" in Dawn Tower's oil vault.

"Uncle," he said. "Why me?"

"Of Dawn Tower's three hundred and seven thousand lamps, one alone was never lit. Its base said Reserved for the Curtainbreaker—carved before I was born. Of the Grand Belfry's seventeen bells, the seventeenth was ordered cast with a hollow chamber to await a native accent—three hundred years ago. The third door of the Ashen Compact opens only for the Curtainbreaker, and its key is a person—a place the founding master kept three hundred years ago."

"Three places held for one 'me.' But what makes me myself?" He looked at his uncle. "I never asked for this place. In two lives, my greatest wishes were to go home and understand how to live. By what right did people three hundred years ago carve a lamp, cast a bell, and keep a door for me?"

Old Vane set down his teacup.

"Your uncle investigated that question for forty years," he said. "Today I can answer half. The other half must wait until after the winter solstice, in the presence of certain objects. Let me answer this half thoroughly."

"You ask 'why me.' Lad, the question is reversed."

"Not one of those who kept a place three hundred years ago knew Sharlo Vane. Master Tong did not know, the Ashen Compact's founding master did not know, nor did whoever carved the lamp base. They kept the place not for you, but for the next one," old Vane said, one word at a time. "The next soul from the old world to arrive in this age, bearing old speech and old dreams."

"The Dirges grew sentences of their own—from fifteen to seventeen. The seventeenth sang of this: The Worldcrosser never left home. The year that sentence appeared, all who knew the trade understood. A soul from the old world would return. No one knew who or when, but someone would. Some feared it. Some hoped. Some prepared a place."

"So the first layer of the answer is: the place was not kept for you. It was kept for 'the one who would come.'"

"Then why was I the one who came?"

"Because you survived."

The old man did not speak loudly, yet the courtyard lamps seemed to sink by half a shade.

"You may not be the only old-world soul who returned," he said. "Among forty years of 'wrong things,' several entries remain on which I dare not pass a verdict. More than a century ago, a southern girl sang unknown songs at three and died at five—the county gazette called it an acute illness. Seventy years ago, the mute son of an eastern fisher filled the beach with writing no one understood. He vanished after a great tide. There are several other shadows in the accounts."

"I cannot prove they came from your homeland. I can prove one thing." Old Vane's gaze settled heavily upon him. "This age has never shown mercy to 'frequencies that should not exist.' The ears of the Organ Tower listened for three hundred years. Hear one, silence one."

"You talked in your sleep every night from the age of three. For nine years. In those nine years, the ears swept Kandelburg three times."

"The first, when you were three and a half. Your aunt drew the ears onto herself."

"The second, when you were eleven. I pawned your violin memories at the bottom of their own vault."

"The third, when you were nineteen." The old man paused. "That one you never knew. Grey handled it. Someone made a 'clerical error' in the branch records, shifting your birth year by four. The ears screened the register for people of the proper age and never found you. When the old inspector finished, he played one game of chess with me and never mentioned it. I never asked. That was how our generation worked."

Sharlo sat frozen beneath the lamp.

Grey. The old inspector who had said, "Twenty years. At last, another understudy." Their weekly chess game. The message: Acknowledged. Carry an umbrella. In years Sharlo himself knew nothing of, that umbrella had already been held above his head.

He remembered the night in the hall beneath the mountain, when Grey pressed the white chess piece into his hand—the board is yours. He had thought it merely the handover of a game. Now he understood. Grey had handed him the umbrella held above him for twenty years, that "clerical error" in a register, the entire watch of one generation.

"Why didn't he tell me?" Sharlo asked, his throat dry.

"The rule of keeping watch," old Vane said. "The protected must not know they are protected. If they know, they no longer dare live freely. Your aunt did not tell you. Grey did not. I concealed the truth for thirteen years. Not because we distrusted you."

"We wanted you to owe unknown debts and live as though you had every right to do so," the old man said. "That is the whole craft of keeping watch: spend the capital, never send the bill."

Beneath the lamp, Viola opened her notebook. "This agent requests that the following be entered in the file."

Everyone looked at her. Her nib hovered. Her voice kept to regulation, but uncommonly slow. "The keeper does not let the protected know. This agent learned the rule upon joining the partnership two years ago and has observed it since. Now that the accounts are open, this agent enters her own: Article Three of the partnership agreement required that she never reveal the words above her head. But outside the agreement—"

She paused, then completed the report faithfully. "During this agent's six years of night-watch schedules, on every night he went into the field, she volunteered to cover his watch. The reason entered was regulatory rotation. Actual reason—corrected today—keeping watch."

The courtyard was silent for one breath. Sharlo looked at her. She closed the notebook, met his eyes, and added with official composure:

"Mutual. The account must balance."

"So the first half of the answer to 'why you' is this." Old Vane condensed forty years of accounts into one sentence:

"Heaven did not choose you. People kept you safe until the day you became yourself."

"Three places waited for three hundred years. You need not have been the only candidate. You were the only one kept alive long enough to walk into that place. Your aunt's performance, my ticket and string, Grey's 'clerical error'—how many other hands you never knew, I cannot discover. But the shape of the account is clear: your life passed from pair of hands to pair of hands, in relay."

"You did not earn the Curtainbreaker's place, and heaven did not bestow it," he said. "People kept it into being."

"That is also why only you fit, and why the Dirge Society could not seize a substitute in three hundred years," old Vane added, adding the interest. "They tried. Other names were written after 'Curtainbreaker' on the parchment over those centuries. Each one failed. Because the place does not recognise simply 'a person without a script.'"

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"It recognises 'a person kept into being.' Keeping cannot be forged. Wax can make the blankness of a person without a script, but not a body covered in handprints—the invisible prints upon you: your aunt's, Grey's, mine, and those of every street, harbour, and river. Those are what the place examines."

"The Proprietor appraised you and said every part was joined by sinew, so that you cannot be put upon the scales," the old man said slowly. "To this day it calls that a defect. It does not understand: the sinews are handprints. Only what cannot be weighed can sit in that place."

The courtyard remained silent for a long, long time.

"There is another outstanding account we can reconcile tonight." Old Vane lifted the teapot and refilled each cup. "Do you remember the two entries from the river? The Last Ferryman said them herself: your lullaby is older than the river. The water at the source preceded her."

"I remember. The file was sealed."

"Open it tonight," the old man said. "Set those two entries against today's answer and they balance."

"The river was formed when she lay down three thousand years ago. The god fell three thousand years ago. But Moonlight, Bright is an old-world song," he said, looking at his nephew. "A human mother sang it to her child, generation after generation, back beyond any count of your mother's mothers. Before it entered your dreams, it had lived in the human world for thousands of years. It is older than the river not because it holds magic, but because the door of its home opened ages before the gods' doors."

"The water at the source is the same. When the Last Ferryman lay down, that thin stream already flowed—old-world water, the breath of the old earth, flowing before the sky fell. She did not create the river. She lay herself within water older than she was."

"Listen closely to the total of those two accounts." Old Vane set down his cup, moving each word onto the table like ballast. "The song is older than the gods. Water is older than the gods. The human world is older than the gods."

"The gods were stories told by people. A play is a stage built by people. From the beginning, the order was: people first, gods after; songs first, plays after; those who live their days first, those who watch them after," he said. "For three thousand years, they performed the order backward, until the world believed itself a cast of players and the human world mere scenery."

"What you must do on the winter-solstice night is one thing," the old accountant said, watching the courtyard lamps. "Put the order back."

Sharlo received the words one by one. Put the order back. The Soulherd had said, "The hand that holds sheep has no need of an audience." The Keeper of the Star Gate had said, "Let the full house clear in their hearts." The serpent had said, "No hand behind the hand." The accounts of Volume Five joined in that courtyard into one governing clause.

The human world was older than the gods. That was the foundation on which to strike the stage.

Pip suddenly spoke. The thief had listened against a veranda post. Now he rose and came into the light, his empty-bright eyes holding something Sharlo understood.

"Crossing out a name," he said. "What your aunt did was the same thing I did that night."

"She drew every ear in the city onto herself. She crossed your name off the list and added her own," Pip said, one word at a time. "I was nine when I crossed the name. I thought I had stolen Cole's good fortune and carried the account for eleven years. When she crossed a name—how old was she?"

"Thirty-one," old Vane said.

"Thirty-one." Pip nodded. "A woman of thirty-one knew exactly where the coach went when she made that stroke." He looked at Sharlo and suddenly grinned, tears inside the smile. "Consultant. After eleven years, I finally understood something. Today I'll say it for your aunt as well—"

"Cross out your name, write mine. To those of us who cross names, that entry is never sacrifice."

"It is theft," he said. "Stealing ahead of the script and writing your next step the way we choose. The finest improvisation in the world is the first stroke stolen by powerless people like us."

From the veranda, Cole added softly, "So the protected should not ask, 'Why me?'" The young lamplighter watched the courtyard lamps. "Dawn Tower's old saying: a lamp does not ask why it deserves to shine. It carries the hearts of those who kept it and casts them farther."

"The question has two ends." Mick had somehow joined them beneath the veranda. The errand boy had delivered his last dispatch and listened from the gatehouse. "Let me say one thing. When my brother Tommy went, I kept asking why him and not me. Asked it three years. Later, in Mist Gorge, I wrote four hundred and sixty letters home for other people. Then I understood—"

"Two kinds of people ask it. The one lying down asks heaven. The one still standing asks—" The boy scratched his head. His words stumbled, but each landed hard. "Asks who he ought to stand for next. Brother, you're standing now. Once you've asked the question, turn the page—to the page about who you'll stand for."

Everyone looked at him. Mick flushed and thrust out his chin. "I worked that out myself! Didn't copy anyone!"

"It matters little whom you copied." Old Vane laughed. "An accountant recognises the account, not its source. Enter this under your name: Communications Officer Mick, posing one question on behalf of all who still stand."

Sharlo sat amid the courtyard lamps for a long time without speaking.

Then he opened the black notebook to a fresh page and wrote slowly, each word seeming rubbed from bone:

"Line Seventeen: The Worldcrosser never left home. First half, findings as follows—"

"First: place. The railways of the old-world city, their southern stations, point directly toward Kandelburg. I can read the blue plaque from Dawn Tower; I can speak the sound the Blank Bell awaits; beneath the city, old objects everywhere come from the streets of my former life. Finding: Kandelburg stands upon the homeland of the old world. The city of my birth and the country in my dreams occupy the same ground. The footprints of both lives tread the same earth—I never left. This is the literal meaning."

"Second: people. I never left home because home never let go. Someone scored the native accent, guarded the dreams, crossed out the name, and passed the life from hand to hand. No one knows how many old-world souls fell upon the road back. I reached today because on every stretch, someone crossed me off the list and wrote themselves in. This is the meaning beneath."

"Combined finding: The Worldcrosser never left home. Their reading is 'he cannot escape.' Mine is: so long as one person keeps it, home follows you every step of the way."

Here he paused and added the final line:

"Second half—'why was I the one to survive and enter that place?'—unresolved. Awaiting two items: the covenant beyond the third door, and the winter-solstice sky."

Before the ink dried, three knocks sounded upon the courtyard door. Knock. Knock. Knock.

Everyone looked up. At this hour, with that knock—Pip flashed to the door. No one stood outside. A visiting card rested squarely on the threshold.

Its face was deep crimson, but not in a playbill's form. It was an old merchant house's calling card, written in the rounded hand of a three-hundred-year shopkeeper:

"TO MR. CURTAINBREAKER: BEFORE THE WINTER SOLSTICE, THIS OLD MAN WISHES TO MEET YOU. THE PLACE SHALL BE AT YOUR CONVENIENCE. THE MATTER FOR DISCUSSION—"

"AN OLD ACCOUNT."

At the foot stood the seal ARRIVED AS PROMISED. Beneath it was a fresh line whose strokes held an almost imperceptible tremor:

"LATELY, THIS OLD MAN KEEPS FEELING HE ONCE PAWNED SOMETHING."

"I CANNOT REMEMBER WHAT. AT NIGHT, THE COUNTER SOUNDS. — THE PROPRIETOR"

The card went around the courtyard.

"It is beginning to remember," Viola judged first. "The 'knowledge' pawned three hundred years ago is seeping back. The cause is clear: the winter solstice approaches, the warding object beyond the third door is stirring, and the covenant burns hot in the vault. A pledged thing recognises its owner. By the old principle of the rule of reversion, when an object in the counter thinks of its owner, the owner outside begins to dream."

"This dream is the most dangerous kind," old Vane judged next. "A troupe master who deceived itself for three hundred years is beginning to dream of its own lie. Before the winter solstice, either it remembers and goes mad halfway, or it fails to remember and takes the whole troupe through the Final Curtain. Both roads collapse."

"So asking for a meeting is its own desperate search for a physician." Sharlo folded the card and placed it in the black notebook. "The counter sounds at night. It cannot sleep. For the first time in three hundred years, it needs someone to talk to."

"Will you go?" Pip asked.

"Yes," Sharlo said. "The founding master's ticket says: redemption price—if one day someone asks whether this article is genuine, tell the truth, and redemption shall be complete."

"This card is the first word of the asking." He looked into the deep night beyond the courtyard door. "This meeting is not an encounter with an enemy. The three-hundred-year pledge behind the counter has come due."

"How will you answer?"

Sharlo considered, ground ink, and wrote two lines. When he finished, he read them aloud:

"TO THE PROPRIETOR: WE WILL RECONCILE THE ACCOUNT WHEN WE MEET. AS TO THE PLACE, THIS JUNIOR VENTURES TO NAME NO. 9 WEIGHTCHAIN STREET, BEFORE THE OLD VAULT DOOR."

"The place where the article was pawned is where its account should be reconciled," he said. "It knows the rules of the counter better than anyone."

He gave the reply to Mick, who would deliver it formally by the front door the next morning, observing the old courtesies of the visiting card. Then he extinguished the courtyard's extra lamps, leaving one.

One by one, the others retired. Sharlo remained beneath that lamp and joined the night's two great accounts. One was the first half of "why you": a person kept into being. The other was the Proprietor's card: a person unable to keep his own truth. One had been protected until today by handprints from across the world. The other had pawned its knowledge for three hundred years and heard a counter sound nightly.

Two ways of living in the same age, one street apart.

The due date before the winter solstice drew nearer day by day. Watching the flame, he suddenly missed Kandelburg—the smell of griddle cakes on Tailor Street, the blue-glass lamp over the agency door, the violin in the corner waiting for its string.

Soon. He told himself. Reconcile these few accounts, then go home.