The last rays of sunlight were slowly fading from the sky. This was the most beautiful time of the day. There was just something so magical about twilight. Slowly, ever so slowly, stars began to appear in the sky. One, then two, then suddenly the whole sky was alive with bright twinkling stars that shone like silver fireflies.
"Vera, it's getting late," Alma was saying. She took hold of my shoulder and shook me gently.
"I know. Please, just let me watch the river for a little bit longer," I whispered. The dark water had become a bright white thanks to the stars. The gentle river seemed to carry the light with it. This might be the last time that I'd ever get to see this river. Tears filled my eyes, and I turned away so that Alma wouldn’t see them.
"Let's go back. I really don't like leaving Blake and Sadie alone together," Alma said firmly. So, I got to my feet and said goodbye to the river. If only there were some way for me to visit it. This one little river had brought me so much peace even though it had no way of knowing it. Could I really live without it? There had been a time when I had.
But that had been a very long time ago and I had been a completely different person. So much had changed since then. Alma grabbed my hand and began to lead me along as if I were a little girl. The gentle pressure from her firm grip brought me a little bit of comfort.
"Blake has been acting very differently the past couple of days, don't you think?" I asked. Come to think of it, everyone had been acting a little differently lately.
"Yeah," said Alma. "Vera, are you sure you want to go back to the labs with us?"
I nodded. "Yes, I've made up my mind."
"Okay, I just want you to know that you don't have to come with us."
"I understand that. But I want to stay with the group. Being here all alone sounds awful." Besides, I added in my mind, I might not be able to take care of myself. "We've all been through a lot together for better or for worse. Let's just stay together."
"Fair enough. I must admit that the idea of splitting up was a little scary to think about. But I guess that I won't need to worry about that now," Alma laughed. Yes, that was one thing that I didn't need to be scared of. But the very thought of the labs was enough to make my heart race and my hands shake. The doctor had said that things had changed and that we would be treated better. But I couldn't bring myself to trust her.
Those long hallways and tiny white cells were bad enough on their own. Not to mention the scientists. If only I could forget the things that had happened there. If only I could understand why they had happened. I had spent so many nights lying awake and wondering. The only thing that I had thought of so far was that the people who had worked on us had simply been frightened.
After all, fear was a powerful thing. Most of the things that I did I did out of fear. Perhaps that could explain the way they had treated us. Maybe they had felt as if we were simply threats that put them in constant danger. But fear didn't explain the cruelty. It didn't explain why they hadn't given us any anesthetics during surgeries. It didn't explain the starving, or the things they had threatened us with.
More tears filled my eyes and streamed down my cheeks. We were almost home. I needed to stop crying before Alma noticed and asked me what was wrong. Everything was wrong and there was nothing that she could do to fix it. Besides, none of this was Alma's fault.
"Alright, let's see if those crazy kids have killed each other yet," said Alma. The crazy kids in question hadn't in fact killed each other. Sadie was sitting in the corner, softly singing a nursery rhyme to herself. Blake was looking out the window. There was no fresh blood on the floor. What a pleasant surprise. Both of them looked up as we entered the shack. The four of us just stood there in silence for a moment, looking around at each other.
"Well, Dr. Green will probably be coming back fairly soon. Just to make sure, we will all be leaving together," said Alma. We all nodded. "Alright then." She laughed suddenly. "I guess we won't have to get ready. We don't really have anything to pack up."
"That's true. We have nothing," Sadie giggled.
"I guess we won't need to worry about that then. Let's just all be prepared to leave when we have to," said Alma. But what did that mean? No amount of time or effort could fully prepare Vera for going back to the labs. Could she really do that? Yes, she had already made up her mind. This was what she was going to do.
Stolen from its rightful author, this tale is not meant to be on Amazon; report any sightings.
There was no turning back now. I glanced around once more, looking over each person's face very closely. There was fear in their eyes but also hope. We had no clue what the future would be like. But we had all agreed to move forward. What was the point in doing nothing and waiting for the Z plague to destroy us?
A strange feeling was stirring in my heart. This was a feeling I had felt before, but it had been a long, long time ago. What was it called again? Hm, control, that's what it was. I couldn't control the situation or the outcome. But this was a decision that I was allowed to make. Nobody had forced me to do this. There was no monster controlling my mind or my body.
I had made my choice out of my own free will. Yes, the other girls leaving had played a huge role in my decision, but it was still my choice. I had control. It wasn't a lot of control, but it was something. Maybe control was the strange emotion that I saw in Sadie's eyes. Maybe she too had gained a new sense of control.
That emotion looked strange in her eyes. It didn't seem as if it belonged there. But that might just be because I wasn't used to seeing it there. Fear, trust, warmth; these were the emotions her eyes usually held. Alma's eyes always held kindness, serenity, and sadness. Blake's eyes always held rage, terror, and determination. What did my eyes hold? That was a stupid question. It didn't matter. But it gave me something to think about as the night began. My eyes closed and I tried to relax. So, I would leave this place soon. I had become so used to sleeping on the ground here. Any change would probably take a ton of getting used to.
The dreams came and they faded into nightmares, just like they always did. Suddenly, I was back in the labs. I was vaguely aware of voices yelling at me. A hand reached out of the darkness and grabbed me. The grip was far too strong to be a human's hand. I winced as it snapped through my bones. These were zombies. But they looked like the scientists from the lab. Some unseen figure was pulling on my hair now. Pain filled my mind as nails and teeth dug into me and began to tear at my flesh. But I kept my eyes on the figure who stood down the hall.
It was a zombie; she was pale and small with dark hair. She was me. I was a zombie, but I wasn't attacking. Why? I looked over the emotions on her face. There was hunger. All zombies had hungry eyes. But that wasn't all that I could see. There was pity, understanding, and weariness in her eyes, in my eyes.
"Vera, are you alright?" That was Alma's voice. My eyes opened as the dream faded away. Blake and Alma were leaning over me. "You were sleep talking," explained Alma.
"Oh, I see. I think I figured out what my eyes carry," I told them.
"What in the world are you talking about?" Blake asked. I shrugged. Truth be told, I had no idea. My mind didn't make much sense to me either. The room was filled with pale sunlight. The whole room was spotless. There were no bloodstains in site. Alma must have gotten up extra early to clean it. Outside, the world was still. Everything was calm and quiet, as if waiting for something. The river and the woods seemed to be waiting with us. Sadie sat in the corner, humming quietly.
"She might not come back today," Alma reminded us. But we all knew that she would come. Why else would everything be so still? Sadie sat down next to me. Now we were all looking out towards the woods. Sure enough, Dr. green, and four inspectors appeared in the distance. They walked slowly. "Alright, let's head out and meet them," whispered Alma. A sudden wave of fear washed over me. I would never get to see my river again.
The rest of my life would be spent in tiny dark rooms, shut away from the rest of the world. My hands shook and my heart raced as I stepped out into the sunlight. Sadie grabbed my hand. I looked at her. There was fear in her dark eyes. I gave her hand a gentle squeeze.
To my surprise, Blake took hold of her other hand. Alma rested her hand on my shoulder. Right, I wasn't alone. We would all spend the rest of our lives locked away from the rest of the world. Well, wasn't that kind of like how we were already living? Maybe it wouldn't be too much of a change.
"Hello again," Dr. Green said brightly. She was smiling warmly at us. I could tell from the look in her eyes that she already knew our answer. "Have you girls made your decision?" she asked.
"Yes. We've talked things over and we have all agreed that we will head back to the labs with you," said Alma calmly.
"Wonderful! I'm so glad to hear that!" Dr. Green exclaimed. "Now I do apologize for this. But I am required by law to keep you restrained during the journey. We will be passing by a few villages on our way to the labs, so I hope you'll understand," she was saying now. Alma nodded.
"We're aware of that," she said. The inspectors stepped forward and began to cuff our hands and put muzzles on over our mouths. Why were they being so gentle with us? There was no hair pulling or being shoved to the ground. This was certainly a new thing. My eyes drifted from the inspectors back to the little shed.
This place had been home for a while now. This was the last time that I would ever see it. Tears filled my eyes, blurring out the vision. But I wanted to see the beauty of the river and the tall trees as they swayed in the wind. Now there was no way for me to wipe my tears away. So, I just blinked fiercely. Could I really live without the river? I would have to. I had once lived without the river.
I would create a new Vera, a Vera who didn't need the river. New Vera wouldn't be so childish or frightened. New Vera would be stronger and more in control. New Vera would always be powerful, even when her fate was out of her control.
"The journey won't be too long. We'll be back at the labs before you know it!" Dr. Green was saying. We followed her as she led us through our forest and to the tall wall that surrounded our little area. This was it. This was goodbye. We stepped out into the outside world for the first time in months. A new chapter of our lives was about to begin for better or for worse.