It took me a few minutes to remember where I was. So, I just lay there, in a pool of sunlight, thinking. My first thought was that I had only dreamed up Dr. Green and the labs. That was what I had been afraid of. How wonderful the dream had been. It wasn't fair that I had to wake up from it. But I could still remember every little detail of that dream. I remembered the garden with its bright, colorful flowers. I remembered the heavenly food.
I remembered the card games that I had played with Blake. Clearest of all, I remembered the smiling faces of my friends as we laughed and talked. There had been no fighting or fear. We hadn't felt the least bit threatened by each other. All of us had just been happy to be together. If only there were some way for me to close my eyes and drift back into that dream world.
Only then did it occur to me that I was lying in a bed and not on the floor. Then I realized that the room around me was perfectly clean, without a single drop of blood on the floor. It hadn't been a dream. Every moment of yesterday had been real. That realization hit me in the most wonderful way possible. I sat bolt upright in bed and let out a joyful cry. The whole world needed to know how happy I was to be alive. Tears of joy streamed down my cheeks. Suddenly everything seemed warm and welcoming. The sunlight caressed my face and turned my teardrops into glittering diamonds.
The gardens were real. The food was real. The games were real. None of it had been dreamed up. Today was going to be even more heavenly than yesterday had been. Only a week ago, the future had seemed so dark and hopeless for me. Now I was excited to see what it held for me. Maybe the healing process would be shorter than I had thought at first. Maybe, just maybe, I could be home by the end of the month. Fresh tears filled my eyes at that thought. Home, did I dare to hope? Could I finally return to Stockholm after all? Now I was dizzy with joy. My legs wobbled as I got to my feet. I wiped away fiercely at the tears on my cheeks and headed out into the hall.
The comforting sound of my friends’ voices came drifting through the air to me. It sounded like they were all talking in Alma's room. Had I been the first to wake up again? Blake, Vera, and Alma all looked up as I came in. They were sitting in the middle of the floor. Alma smiled brightly at me.
"There you are! We were just about to wake you up!" she laughed. "Are you hungry, Sadie?"
"Starving!" I sang out.
"So," Alma glanced around at the others. "We are agreed then. To the dining hall it is!" she announced. At the word dining hall, my stomach growled loudly. Soon we were heading through the long, winding halls together. Other groups of people looked up and smiled at us as we walked by, the exact same way they had done yesterday.
I found myself smiling back at them this time. Everyone was so friendly here. At first, I had found that friendliness a little off-putting. But I was already starting to get used to it. But my hunger was starting to distract me from my happiness. My craving for meat was growing more and more intense with each step that I took.
"I think I'll visit the gardens after breakfast. Would you like to come too, Vera?" I asked. She nodded eagerly.
"Yes! I was also planning on visiting them again. It's hard to believe that they’re really real, honestly," she whispered to me. It didn't feel real yet to me either. There was a chance that it would never feel real to me. It just felt so magical and dreamlike. I had seen it with my own eyes, and I still wasn't convinced that it wasn't just my imagination.
"I've never seen anything quite so beautiful before," I whispered.
"I wish I could just stay in that place forever," sighed Vera. She was smiling softly now. Her gaze had become distant and peaceful. It was the exact same look that she always wore on her face when she was looking at the river. She looked as if she was lost in her own little world, blissfully unaware of everything real and solid that surrounded her. This seemed to be when Vera was at her happiest. It must be nice feeling like that. Everything about the look on her face was dreamy and soft and relaxed.
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The dining hall was a delightful and welcoming sight to me. Smiles exploded across Blake and Alma's faces as we entered. I was sure that I was smiling too. There had been a part of me that had worried that the food wouldn't taste quite as heavenly today. After all, that would make sense. I would probably end up getting used to this kind of food. Then it wouldn't be as special. Most things were like that.
My dad had always told me that Christmas wouldn't be fun if it came every day. But somehow, today’s breakfast tasted even better. Every flavor seemed to grow more intense. The texture of the meat was softer and juicier. It had gotten even better somehow. My heart swelled with each bite that I took. Who knew that eating could be this exciting?
No wonder I hadn't experienced any attacks yesterday. This was more than enough food. Each and every single bite felt ten times more filling than any other kind of food that I had had before. Soon we were all leaning back in our chairs with smiles on our faces and clean plates sitting in front of us.
Blake and Alma instantly got up and headed back into the line to get seconds. I thought about following her for a moment. But to my surprise, I was already full. I shouldn't be surprised. This place really was perfect. Everything was special here. The food, the light, the air, everything. It was like Charismas came every single day here. But it didn't get boring or dull. Life here would just get better the longer I stayed here.
But I wouldn't stay here forever and that was okay. I needed to remind myself that this place wasn't home. It was temporary. This was where I would heal and recover. Even if home wasn't perfect, I needed to return. Home had something that this place would never have. How much did my family miss me? Surely a lot.
But I didn't want to think of that. I just wanted to think about how happy they would be when I returned home to them. Suddenly, my heart skipped a beat. I would actually get to see little Ed! How old would he be now? About two years old, right? I had been taken to the quarantine zone just a few days before Mama's due date. Tears filled my eyes, blurring the world around me.
I'll get to meet him someday, was what I had told myself during those first few miserable months at the quarantine zone. But then I had been taken to the labs. Happy memories of the past and hopeful dreams about the future faded away. There had been many horrible weeks in the labs that had made me forget about the outside world.
I had had to let go of the idea of seeing my parents again. I had also let go of little Ed who I would never get to meet. Now the memory of him hit me like a boulder. I might actually get to see him. Not just see him but watch him grow. Vera gently nudged me out of my thoughts. I blinked and turned to her. There was a deep look of concern on her face.
"Are you okay?" she asked softly, pulling me into a hug. Her tight hug only made me cry harder. "Sadie, what in the world is wrong?"
"N-nothing." I found myself laughing. "T-these are happy tears. Don't worry." With gritted teeth, I forced myself to smile at Vera. "I-I just remembered something happy."
"Oh, that's good. Right?" asked Vera.
"Y-yeah! Don't worry, I just think I'm starting to get a little homesick. I wasn't homesick before because I thought that I wouldn't ever get to see home again. So, I learned to live with it. But now that I can go back, I miss home. I really miss it." Memories flooded my mind. Everyone in the room was probably staring at me right now. Who could blame them? I probably looked completely crazy. After a few minutes of whipping at my eyes and sobbing, I managed to calm myself down. Vera still looked concerned.
"Do you think heading to the garden would make you relax?" Vera asked.
"Yes, I'm sure that'll do me some good. Let's go." I had been hoping that she would say that. We cleared our plates and headed back down the hall towards the gardens. What would Ed look like? Would his hair be dark like Dad's or would it be blond like Mom's? Maybe it would be like mine, very pale reddish brown. Even the faces of my parents had become blurry and faint in my mind. But I could see their eyes clearly. Father’s bright and kind. Mother’s, calm and dark. My mind took hold of these faint flickering memories and clung to them. Soon, I promised myself, soon I'll see them again.