"I'm sorry. I-I was just so scared," Mia whispered.
"I understand that. But please, you have got to work on your self-control, Mia!" Ivy was saying. They were heading back home after a long and hectic day filled with games. "We're lucky to still be alive. I wouldn't be surprised if every single doll on that street hears you screaming."
"I'm sorry. It won't happen again." Mia said that because it was what Ivy wanted to hear. Saying that would keep them from fighting. This wasn't worth fighting about. After all, Mia couldn't ever make Ivy understand how hard her powers made everything.
"It better not. This doesn't make any sense to me, Mia. You were so calm and focused yesterday. Is this because of your powers? Isn't there anything that you can do to control them?" said Ivy.
"I can try," whispered Mia. But it was her powers that controlled her. She hadn't wanted to scream. She knew that it was foolish and that it put them in danger. If she could go back in time and cover her own mouth to keep past Mia from screaming, she would. What could she do to explain this to Ivy? Ivy had said many times that Mia was lucky to have her powers because they helped her focus and kept her from feeling afraid. That was true. But Mia's powers had always been and would always be a double-edged sword. Sometimes her powers helped her. Sometimes they hurt her.
But it didn't matter. Her powers would never be as useful as Ivy's. There wasn't anything that her powers could do to help Ivy. Useless, that was what Mia's powers were and that was what she was. Could she ever be anything more than a helpless little baby who constantly needed to be taken care of? Why did she always mess up Ivy's plans? Would her powers ever let her be free? A small sigh escaped Mia. Maybe it was time for her to stop trying to be something that she wasn't. Maybe it was time to let go and accept the fact that she would always be useless. Ivy glanced down at the child.
"I'm not trying to make you feel bad," said Ivy. "I just want you to be safe. Sorry, I was a little too harsh with you. Mia, look at me." Ivy crouched down next to Mia so that they were at eye level with each other. Mia always liked it when Ivy did that. "Listen, kiddo. Everything that I do I do because I love you and I don't want you to get hurt. This isn't me trying to push you down. All that I want is to make sure that you're safe so that I can keep you by my side until the games are done. I just want to keep on living with you. If something happened to you, then I wouldn't know what to do with myself. Your safety means more than anything else to me."
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Mia's eyes opened. Ivy's voice faded away along with the warmth of the dream. Now Mia was lying alone in darkness once again. Ivy had spent her whole life worrying about Mia. But in the end, it had been Ivy who had been lost. Now Mia was the one who was left alone. Useless, that word echoed through Mia's mind once again. That word would forever haunt her. No, no it wouldn't. Lu had given Mia a chance.
It was up to Mia to prove that Lu hadn't wasted the chance. It was time for Mia to prove her past self wrong. She was going to help the rebels, and she was going to do it for Ivy. A loud knock at the door destroyed the silence in Mia's room. Was it that late? Had she slept in?
"Are you ready for the games?" Ruby called.
"Yeah, let's go." This was when Mia felt best. She felt in control of her emotions and herself for once. There was no magic happiness flowing through her veins and Mia could still feel the pain from Ivy's death. But she wasn't going to let that pain weigh her down and keep her from focusing on the games. Today, she was going to be useful Mia. The sky was a pale blue. Even the sunlight was pale. Perhaps there was some kind of malfunction in the system. The sunlight was almost always bright and warm, and the sky was almost always a deep vibrant blue. Had something happened or was Mary doing this on purpose? It was hard to tell with Mary. Every once in a while, she would just do something that was completely and totally random for no apparent reason.
Who was she working with? Why did Mary make such strange decisions? Mia had been told that the city was run partly by the overseers and partly by a small council of humans who did a lot of the behind the scenes work and made a lot of those choices. Now there was no telling if that was actually the truth or not. But if it was true, what in the world were those humans thinking. What was the point of this whole thing? What use did this city serve? Was it true that it was only entertainment? These were all the questions that would probably never be answered. Well, that was what Mia had thought in the past. Maybe the rebels knew more about the city. Maybe they would be willing to share it with Mia.
Perhaps at long last, all of these questions that had kept Mia up at night for such a long time would be answered. That gave Mia more motivation. But the fact that Ivy might still be alive was all that Mia needed. She would help Ruby, and she would make it through the games. Someday, someway, she would get to see Ivy again. Mia clung to that thought as she stepped into the square.
"Welcome back everyone! I hope that you are ready for today's games!" Mary said happily. Mia was ready for whatever was about to happen.