Those were not the words that Mia had expected to come from Ruby's mouth. Ruby always seemed to be so happy and hopeful. But now Ruby lay curled up on the floor with a look of pure misery on her face. Mia had never seen Ruby look like this. She hadn't known Ruby was capable of looking so hopeless. It was as if in an instant all of Ruby's light had been sucked away.
"Ruby, Ruby looks at me. Are you okay?" Mia grabbed Ruby's shoulders and shook her gently. "Please answer me!" But Ruby didn't look at Mia. Her terrified eyes stared blankly into the darkness.
"When will it be enough? What more can they take from us? We don't get any freedom or privacy of any kind. We can't escape them, not even for a moment! They can even use the glass that we're made of to hurt us! Why do things have to be this way? Is there nothing that they won't rip away from us?"
"For goodness’ sake, Ruby, keep your voice down!" hissed Lu.
"Why? They know everything already. What is the point in keeping things secret? We have no secrets. We don't have anything!"
"B-but we have each other, Ruby. And for all we know, we might still have Ivy. Isn't that good?" Mia whispered. Why couldn't Ruby see how wonderful this was? Why couldn't Ruby see how wonderful everything was? Mia's words seemed to pull Ruby more or less back to reality.
"I-I'm sorry," Ruby stammered. "I just haven't been feeling amazing lately. Learning that there is nothing I can do to be truly free doesn't help me feel better. Why do they do this to us? Do they just want to see us suffer day and night, even when the games are done? Is this just their way of toying with us?"
"I don't know," admitted Lu. "It's possible. But what I find strange is that they haven't punished the rebels. They only punished a couple of dolls after you escaped the first time," said Lu. Blossom had been one of the dolls who had been punished. "They've let us keep planning against them. That doesn't make any sense to me," said Lu.
"It sounds like they're just playing with us. They're giving us false hopes to be crushed. STOP IT!" Ruby howled suddenly. "I KNOW YOU'RE LISTENING YOU MONSTERS! LET US GO! WE CAN'T TAKE ANY MORE OF THIS!" she cried out. Then more quietly she whispered, "I can't take any more of this."
"Ruby... you're scaring me," whispered Mia.
"Sorry, I just needed to get that out of my system," whispered Ruby as she pulled Mia into her lap. Mia slipped her arms around Ruby's neck.
"Please don't be scared, Ruby. Things will be alright," she said. That was the only reassuring thing that Mia could think to say.
"What a brave little thing you are, Mia." That was another thing that Mia hadn't expected Ruby to say. Brave was not a word that Mia would use to describe herself. But it was a nice word, and it made Mia smile to think of that word next to her name. Mia brave. Brave Mia. Yes, she liked that. It was wonderful.
"Aren't you happy about Ivy at least?" demanded Mia.
"Yes, I am. I hope that she is still alive and that she is doing well wherever she is." A bitter smile spread across Ruby's face. "But I doubt we'll ever be able to see each other again, and if we do, she will probably be like a whole new person." Mia didn't care. There was a tiny chance that they'd be able to see Ivy again. That was all that mattered to her. Ivy was living, breathing, waiting for Mia. After all that they had been through together, Mia couldn't just let her go. "Have you told the other dolls about this?" asked Ruby.
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"Only a few. I'm telling them all very slowly, one at a time. My goal is to prevent panic. I know some dolls will take it better than others. One reason I haven't told Blossom about this is because I know it will cause her to fall apart all over again. But they all need to know. I promised them I would share my discoveries. It's just hard when the truth is this painful." Lu turned away. She too was staring into the darkness. Wow, she really was a strange-looking doll. There was something so strange about the way her face moved.
"I feel like I'm about to fall apart. If this fight is really that hopeless, I don't know how much longer I can fight it," groaned Ruby.
"How long have you been fighting this fight?" asked Mia.
"Since the games were invented," whispered Lu.
"What?" Mia and Ruby said in unison.
"I was one of the first dolls to fight in the games." Lu closed her eyes. "It was such a long time ago. But I remember it as if it was yesterday. Blossom was there as well. But her memories were reset. I remember. Maybe I'm broken or maybe they let me keep my memories. I remember the first game we ever played." Lu shuddered. "It was horrific. The games back then weren't polished. They weren't displayed to the humans. They were raw and brutal and cruel. It felt like we were being pushed to inflict as much suffering as was possible on each other. Truth be told, I envy the dolls who can't remember that." Despite the fear on her face, Lu's voice carried no emotion. It sounded hollow and empty.
"So, were you the first rebel?" asked Mia.
"I was. From the very beginning I decided that I didn't want to live like this. This battle has been going on for decades. We haven't made much progress. Getting you outside of the city, Ruby is still the most we've ever been able to do. I'm not telling you this to discourage you. I'm telling you this to show you that these things take time and patience."
"I-I didn't know you had been fighting for such a long time," breathed Ruby. “Didn't you ever feel like stopping?"
"No. I thought about it. But I never really wanted to stop. We suffered either way. All I want is to make sure that our suffering means something. I just don't know what that something is yet." Mia looked upon Lu as if she were a new person. Ivy hadn't told her too much about Lu. But she had instantly gained Mia's respect. This was courage. This was focus. This doll had been fighting, planning, and scheming for years and she was determined to keep going. If only Mia could be so wonderfully brave.
"But what if you never learn what that something is? What if the suffering ends up being meaningless?" asked Ruby.
"If I give up, it will be meaningless," was all that Lu said.
"Let me help you, Lu. Please!" Mia burst out. "I know that I'm small and I can't fight. But it sounds like you need all the help you can get." Lu turned to the child. "Ivy didn't want me to help because she wanted to keep me safe. But if the overseers know everything, then that won't be a problem. Please, I don't have to do a lot. I just want to keep fighting the fight that meant so much to Ivy!"
"Is that really what you want, little one?"
"Yes! Please! I just... I just want to do something to help!"
"What about you, Ruby? Are you done fighting?" asked Lu. There was a painfully long pause.
"No," Ruby said at last. She slowly got to her feet and took hold of Mia's hand. "I'm not. But I don't know what I'm fighting for anymore."
"Neither do I," Lu said. "Alright. We will keep going. I will keep both of you in mind. If you want to visit me tomorrow after the games, then I will show you my lab where I studied the glass. Maybe you can help me there, Mia," suggested Lu.
"That sounds wonderful!" Mia sang out. She meant it this time from the bottom of her heart. She wouldn't let anything to anyone drag her down. She wasn't useless or helpless. Ivy was out there, living, breathing and waiting for her. Mia would fight for her with everything that she had. A last, Mia would have a role to play in the war. Even if it was small she would give it all that she had.