CHAPTER 35: What’s My Age Again?...

CHAPTER 35: What’s My Age Again?...

Brenden, Jim and I reached the hiking trails and decided to stay on them for our trek. The first few hours everything seemed fine and it was just a boring walk through the woods, but the trails slowly made less sense the further we walked. I kept my senses open as we followed the map, keeping one eye on it for any bullshit dungeon magic.

I felt as if we were walking in circles but the map showed us heading in the same general direction with some twists and turns. We spiraled up one ridge then straight down another, reaching a fork in the trail. I made us pause for a moment while I spread out my perception but there was no discernible way to figure out which trail was correct or if it even mattered.

I was having flash backs of the tomb after seeing what I thought was the same rock for the third time.

“Let’s make camp right here, I don’t want to veer off the trail so we’ll pop a tent here.” I suggested.

Jim went off the trail and sat on the familiar rock, “I thought you would never stop! You’re like a machine dude.”

Brenden followed Jim, finding a rock of his own to sit on, “Yes Good Sirrrr! My master is indeed built like a ma-cheen, with stats that make him likely one of the most powerful humans in the realm.”

I sat across from the 2 boys on the other side of the trail, “Gah, I hope not. I have to imagine that there are plenty stronger and more capable than myself. Arthur doesn’t have the stats like I do but he is somehow still a massive powerhouse and stands up to me easily when we train or just mess around. And please, Brenden. For Christ’s sake, do not call me Master. I can’t go around having people call me Master, sets the wrong tone. I’d rather just be, hmm. Uh. A helpful friend.”

“Very well, Sir. My mentor and helpful frrriend is stronk.” He flexed.

“Fuckin’ hell. I’ll take it.” I said, drawing a loud, bassy laugh from Jim.

“You guys are fun.” He choked out through laughter.

Holding a lighter to some semi-dry tinder, I replied as the fire roared to life, “Glad someone gets enjoyment out of it.”

Brenden and Jim were chatty through the night, they seemed to get along great as they had the same interests in games and a flair for the dramatic.

Jim was a big guy with a baritone, hippie-like voice. I thought he was around the same age as Cole when I first saw him, but he was actually only a few years older than Brenden at 22. He had a bit more scruff on his face than myself, and jet black hair waving down to his chin. He kept sweeping his fingers through his hair, pushing it back greaser style just to have it fall back in his face not even a minute later.

We sat around the fire sharing stories for a while, getting to know each other. Jim explained how he just stumbled into the Dungeon, which made me feel better about my first delve. He said he was running to his parents house which is in New Hampshire. Brenden asked how he survived the event and the entire tone of the world seemed to slowly change around us.

The forest grew dark as he spoke, maybe just the fire dying out. Following a moment of silence, he told us about his absolutely gutting introduction to our new reality, “I was with my girl, we were living on the outskirts of Troy. We bundled up to take a quick ride on the Gixxer. I was getting it ready for Spring, it was freezing but she loved riding with me.”

As soon as he brought up his girlfriend, I knew this was going to be hard to stomach. So, I kept my mouth shut and let him speak as long as he needed, “I wish I never asked her to come.” He paused. I could feel the ‘what if’ running through his mind as he continued, “I was heading inside the gas station to grab drinks and she stayed huddled on the bike for warmth.”

“You don’t have to continue, Sir Jimothy” Brenden said, trying his hand at nicknames and passing my assessment.

“It’s okay dude.” Jim leveled the briefest of smile before continuing, “I had to watch as she transformed. The first wave hit. The pain was so intense I couldn’t focus. I tried getting to her, but I was too confused, too slow. She was sucked toward the bike, like, like it was a giant human magnet. A tornado of flying parts formed around her. She was stuck in there. Her body just kept puffing up until her skin was blown out like a fucking balloon. She was awake and present during all of it, looking for me, waiting for me. Screaming for me as I crawled to her. I—I tried so fucking hard, man! I watched as the life left her eyes. Then random parts from my bike just crashed into her body. They melted and burned as her skin molded around them. Bones cracked and moved from one place to the next… Her eyes lit up, but they weren’t her eyes. She was gone. I—I just ran away, too scared to do anything.”

We let Jim exhale the emotions before Brenden broke the silence, dropping all accents and humor, “There was nothing you could have done. I know this isn’t what you want to hear, but you did what you had to in order to survive.”

A deep, soul-crushing sorrow covered Jim’s typically smiling face as he pulled the necklace from behind his wet shirt, a diamond ring hanging from the bottom. “I just hadn’t found the right time, ya know?”

I was quiet through the interaction, letting the boys talk through the heavy emotions.

I’m no good at comforting people, it’s impossible now.

I tried to let the moment pass quietly, but I noticed Brenden looking to me, like he expected me to impart some sort of wisdom on the loss of a loved one, like I was a fuckin’ professional widower.

“Nothing I say will make you feel better, but if you tell me where it happened I can pay a visit someday to lay her to rest. You seem like a good kid. Just, don’t lose that.”

My words received a nod from Brenden. However, Jim seemed unfazed. I wasn’t sure he’d even heard them as he cried. The painful sound caused a spike of rage deep within me, and the world seemed to respond as my vision flickered deep crimson.

I fucking hate this world.

Whoever did this will die!

I’ll kill every last thing that’s helped cause this pain.

Brenden and Jim shared a tent while I pulled a tarp over my head and watched by the fire. It felt as if we slept within the abyss, the darkness stifling even the fire’s light.

My anger never subsided as I watched the dancing flames create embers that floated away, the fire blessing me with warmth born from destruction. Something about the thought caused my soul to stir. I let those destructive thoughts feed my core until my nightmares finally claimed me once more.

My eyes snapped open to the sound of movement. I feigned sleep while listening to the foot steps and unnatural somber cries grow closer. I felt a light breeze brush the back of my ears and The Scoffer’s Assegai appeared in my hand as I jabbed backwards. My weapon bit flesh and I stood to face the sobbing monster.

I pushed my would-be assassin to the ground, pinning it in place to examined it.

[Grief Deviant—Level 20]

[Manifested Shade—Emotional Echo]

“Ugh, You’re ugly as shit!” I said loudly to wake my party.

The shade was covered in black slime and although it had a normal humanoid build, it was under 4 feet tall and wore a regular old ghoul face straight out of that Fallout game. The missing nose drew me to that comparison.

The echo, deviant, shade or whatever the fuck it was, screamed and cried as if I just killed its new kitten in front of it. Which was quite disturbing as it still scrambled to free itself with an intense fervor. The sound woke Brenden and Jim who flailed out of the tent like the 2 stooges, weapons at the ready as they panic tripped over one another to find me posted above the little ugly duckling.

I removed Conviction with my other hand and dispatched head from body.

The disheveled boys stood outside the tent in bare feet watching me as I said, “Loot.”

Fallen Tear

Epic

Socket Item

Imbues Random Magical Power on Weapon or Armor.

“Behind!” I shouted, 3 more of the little monsters were sneaking up behind them and poised to strike.

Jim spun around with his makeshift club, comically bouncing it off the head of one. Brenden swung his long hammer down towards another but the slow swing was swiftly dodged as the echo scored a deep gouge across his legs.

Then, Brenden’s hammer hit the ground.

An eruption of stone blasted from the ground in front of him, growing wider as it traveled. He fell to his knees drained, but still watching the damage his one and only strike caused. Sharp rocks blasted dirt in every direction and tossed the Three remaining enemies into the air. Two were sent airborne and one died instantly. Jim finished one off with his club as I ran to the last falling creature and dragged Blood Lust across it’s throat before it reached the ground.

The Deviant was dead before landing.

“Holy shit B!” Jim yelled, his smile back full force, “That was insane dude!”

Brenden stayed on his knees, “Ahem, Thank you, Sir Jimothy. Although, I wish I hadn’t done that.”

I approached the dynamic duo and Jim assisted me with getting Brenden to his feet, “What happened?” I asked.

“I believe, erh, hup,” We laid him into the tent as he continued, “I now understand why one should wait before using a weapon out of their stat range. My muscles feel pulverized, and my head feels like the system kicked my brain to mush for defying it’s final edict.”

“Here ya go. Chill B, I’ll go get your loot!” Still excited from the show of force the slender nerd displayed Jim ran off to collect Brenden’s prize.

Every mob dropped the same item, the Fallen Tear. Brenden received the extra for his stunning show of destruction. I was surprised but more confused to see every enemy drop something, let alone the same item. It really tossed my idea of ‘randomized loot’ out of the plane into the middle of the Atlantic.

We were left alone for the rest of the night and the boys were able to get a decent amount of sleep in before we started back on the trail, I didn’t feel the need to sleep as much even though I still tried to doze off from time to time.

As we walked along the trail I missed my normal morning routines, “Bah, I wish we had some coffee.”

“As do I sir! Maybe we will find some when we reach civilization.” Brenden answered.

“I wish I had a mountain dew.” Jim said longingly while brushing his hair out of his face.

“Mountain Dew? Really?” I chuckled, “I always hated that shit, even when it was cool to drink it.”

“Yeah man, I love that stuff! Mom never allowed soda in the house growing up. She told all of my friends parents not to let me drink it either. I only got to drink it when I stayed over at a certain friends house. Ya know, the friend with the Cool Parents.”

“Oh yeah, that friend.” I laughed, knowing all too well of the cool parents.

Every time Jim spoke he moved his hair out of his eyes. I was fixated on it for some reason, even though it was driving me nuts. I attempted to keep my eyes away from the 2 kids walking in front of me.

“Does this area look familiar to you guys?” I asked.

Jim responded, “Nah man, I don’t think so.”

He fixed his hair again.

“No Sir Rrrick” Brenden answered as cheerful as always.

The forest was thick with heavy fog, making navigation a pain in the ass. The once sandy color of the world turned slate gray as a light mist fell from above.

We walked for what felt like hours, taking a brief break as we reached another fork in our path.

I drank a disgusting, fake-ass sugar diet soda that I found in my inventory. The only 2 bottles of water that I possessed, had some weird effect that made it so only the ‘Pure of Heart’ could drink the water.

I’m anything but pure, why do I have this shit?

“I swear, I’ve seen that rock before. Let’s leave marks to be safe.” I pulled out a silver Sharpie that I collected somewhere on our walk, but where?

I dragged the Sharpie along trees as we went, leaving a silver line at shoulder height.

Brenden and Jim continued talking. I listened in on the conversation and butt in when I heard something familiar.

“Uhh,” I stopped walking pulling attention to myself, “Didn’t you already ask him his age?”

“Uhm.. No? I do not believe so.” Brenden answered.

“Huh? Deja vu I suppose. How old are you?”

Jim answered, “22.”

“Oh wow, I thought you were way older, around Cole’s age.”

“Yeah, I could buy cigarettes for my friends when I was in high school, if I went to the right stores anyway.” He said getting a chuckle from Brenden and myself.

“Only a few years older than myself, Good Sir!” Brenden added.

We continued walking, reaching another fork in the road. The world took on a gray hue due to the incredibly dense fog in the area. Brenden was only a few feet in front of me but I could barely make him out.

“Sir, where are we? How much further until we reach your parents house?”

I thought about it for a moment and couldn’t remember a thing, “I’m… Uh, not sure. Let me check the map.”

Enjoying this book? Seek out the original to ensure the author gets credit.

I pulled up the map and it showed us in the middle of the woods on the eastern mountain range, somewhere next to Glastenbury.

“How did we get here? We went off track quite a ways, we’re on the other side of the valley. We’ll have to turn back and head down the mountain to get to the house... Why am I holding this marker?” I looked to the Sharpie in my hands.

I threw the Sharpie into the thick fog and Brenden started laughing.

“Why did you drrrraw on the trees, Sir Rrrrick?” He said through laughter, drawing out all of his R’s. I wonder why he did that, why he talks this way? Is he just playing a character?

“I didn’t draw on the trees, what are you..?” I paused, seeing a tree that had a stripe of silver on the bark, “Huh, I don’t know.”

“Who is that?” Brenden said spinning around. This kid is scared of his own shadow.

I heard chimes ringing in the distance and turned around. It’s breezy today, little chilly.

“He must have caught a scent and ran off to check something out,” I said, looking for Arthur who was usually right at my side.

Through the fog, I could barely make out the shape of two people.

I approached to hear them making introductions.

“Hey! Name’s Jim, Jim Davidson. Nice to meet ya, dude!”

“Brrrenden Bensen, The Budget Battlemage of Barnumville! Where?.. Where is the great wall?” The other boy introduced himself with an incredible amount of pizzazz.

“Nice hair.” I said to the big man, he looked to be the same age as my older brother, “I’m Rick, nice to meet you guys. What brought you to the trail today?”

The young boy answered first, “Uhm. I—I don’t know?”

“Huh, same here.” The big one said through a low, booming laugh.

“Ya know what, I have no clue what I’m doing here either.” I said as the big man brushed his hair back, I felt compelled to ask, “Why do you keep doing that?”

“Doing what?” Jim asked.

“Brushing your hair back? Just let it fly, man. You’ve been doing that the entire—” I paused, something about the movement snapped me back to reality as Brenden and Jim both gave me very displeased looks.

I thought about what could’ve caused the daze and remembered where we were. I snapped out of my stupor, seeing the fog shift behind Brenden.

“Down!” I yelled at the two, who just stared at me like a crazy hermit. I lunged toward Brenden and he shrunk in fear. I pushed him to the ground and leapt over his fetal position.

[The Stalker—Level 31]

[Replicative Apparition]

[System Altered—Cognitive Remnant]

An arm punched through the fog, I halted my advance to avoid its reach but was still struck hard. I tumbled back into Brenden who was trying to stand and I was momentarily knocked to the ground as well.

Jim ran in fear and I restrained myself from giving chase. I didn’t want him to get lost in the fog while he was confused, but we were still in a party and it was probably safer for him to be further away.

I regained my footing and slashed into the fog where I could see the slightest outline of a large, monstrous body. My blade effortlessly passed through The Stalker with only the elemental damage taking effect.

I cast multiple Arcing Thorn Whip’s in quick succession to add extra lightning damage to my attacks. Shock took effect and the ghost appeared to convulse for a moment.

I yelled out for the slam dunk, “Brenden, Ice!”

I searched my surroundings and found Brenden hiding behind a tree, quivering in fear as he held his knees to his chest.

Shit…

The shock wore off and The Stalker charged. He attacked in rapid succession flickering back and forth through the fog in a flurry of action.

“Hey B-Rend! You’re not weak, you are strong! We’re stuck in a Dungeon and I think this fog is confusing us!”

I cast Retaliating Wind as The Stalker’s shape solidified. I changed to my spear to use my wind magic and keep distance until I figured out a good way to deal with the threat.

The once colorless and transparent apparition transformed right in front of me. His head stretched as solid features appeared. A sharp chin wore a sinister smile with two buck teeth jutting out. Above the carnivorous maw was a long bulbous nose. Two sharp tips formed on his head as milk chocolate brown hair. A brown Victorian style suit materialized around him with a matching vampire-like cape.

“Are you fuckin’ kidding me!? Cereal Killer? Really!?” I yelled in outrage, unleashing a volley of attacks aimed at the Cereal Mascot’s head, “Real fuckin’ original!”

My last jab hit nothing as The Count vanished into a flock of bats and flashed behind me, slicing my face with long needled paws as they passed. I was struck in the back and sent tumbling into the dirt. I summoned my blade again to see how it works against the newly corporeal portrayal of the once kid-friendly cereal vampire.

The Stalker “poof-ed” into a colony of bats and flew toward Brenden as I pushed myself out of the mud. The fog literally said ‘POOF’ as he turned into the little chocolate bats, the words blew away from the fluttering of little wings.

The Count appeared in front of Brenden, sinking his two cartoonishly long teeth into Brenden’s neck as he wrapped his cape around the pair. Brenden’s confusion spell wore off and we met eyes. His face moved from terror, to acceptance.

The Stalker’s health bar flashed from 50% to 80% the instant he inhaled the blood. I cast Berserk and ran.

My feet created an expulsion of mud and debris from the ground when I took off.

I watched my HUD as Brenden’s health plummeted. I pushed as fast as I possibly could, but I still wasn’t going to make it. I summoned a Javelin and sent a burst of Mana down my arm as I threw.

The Javelin ripped a leg off The Stalker as it passed. I summoned my sword crashing into the pair. We all fell to the ground as I wrapped The Stalker in a choke hold and wrenched his head away to break the hold.

Brenden immediately downed a potion once free and the Count, once again “Poofed” out of sight and out of my grip. I snagged one of the bats and crushed it in my palm, taking a good chunk of life from the spoof of a monster.

“Get ready!” Brenden helped me to my feet and we faced down the chocolate cereal mascot.

The Stalker became intangible and fled into the fog as I hit nothing. Within seconds, I couldn’t see our enemy. We stood back to back waiting for the next strike.

“You good?” I asked, checking in on him.

“Achem. Yes indeed, thank you again, sir.” Brenden was back to his normal self.

We moved slowly through the fog, trying to formulate a quick plan based on our previous exchange with the creature, “Get ice ready. If I can shock it, hit it with a big ‘un. The effect only lasts a second, so as soon as you see it, throw. I’ll get out of the way.”

Odd groaning noises came from the thick moist fog surrounding us.

“Let’s go.” I whispered to Brenden as we moved toward the noise.

We set off the trail, following the sporadic guttural booms that reverberated through the forest. The moaning bass made the hairs on my arm stand up as if we were inside a car with 12 inch subwoofers thumping ‘m.A.A.d city.’

We entered a small clearing and found what was creating the brain rattling sound.

Brenden released a gut wrenching scream that made me freeze up briefly as he ran toward the new figure with a speed I didn’t think possible, “NOOOO! Get off of him!”

I checked to make sure it was still The Stalker, and it was. Its health bar was full again as it took a new shape. Another parody but unlike the previous adaptation, this one was not a copy and paste.

The off-blue ghost wore a blood red bow tie and glittering golden bowler hat with a ribbon to match the tie. The Stalker rose above Jim’s near lifeless corpse. Jim looked as if all the blood and life were sucked from his body, like someone popped in a straw and drank out all of the fat, muscle and blood. It felt like looking at a skeleton that wore his skin.

I watched the sliver of Jim’s health tick down as Brenden slid to his knees in attempt to reach his mouth with a potion, “Cumbies.”

The last word Jim said was Cumbies. What does it mean? He was looking at me when he said it, as if answering a question.

Chains rattled around the shoulders and neck of the ghost as it sent a sinister smile at Brenden, after looking closer I noticed it had the same facial structure as Jim.

It was fucking mocking us.

The mascot smiled and winked at me, then turned to do the same to Brenden. The Squirrel jumped out of Brenden’s chest and peppered shots at the ghost but his attacks traveled through harmlessly.

“Take off his face!” Brenden growled at the blob while releasing a blinding blue rock into the air towards the ghost.

Snap!

THWOOM!

A nova of ice exploded above Brenden’s head. Everything in a 20 foot radius turned to ice. The Stalker drifted slowly toward the ground, the ghosts health bar down to 65%.

Brenden threw again.

Snap!

BOOM!

His pebble, charged with raw Mana, caused an arcane explosion that fractured every frozen object within its radius, sending shattered chunks of ice and trees crashing down around us. I ran to Brenden and shoved him out of the way as a falling tree crashed down where he'd been standing. The Stalker slowly reached the ground at 30% health, finally breaking free of the freeze debuff.

Chains shot off of the bubbly ghost arms, wrapping around my neck and stealing my health. I dismissed my sword and grabbed the chains with both arms then used all of my strength to whip them into the ground. The ghost flattened into the ground like a cartoon character and I freed myself.

Brenden was charging another ice pebble as the ghost attempted to fade back into the fog. I swiped out scoring a hit with my sword whip but was unable to shock our enemy before it disappeared again.

Brenden held his glowing rock firm and ready, screaming, “Come out you, Mother! FFFucker!”

I’d never seen him so angry, he screamed so hard I thought he might pass out.

I placed a hand on Brenden’s shoulder, “Shh, listen.”

His face was red and full of tears as he attempted to slow his breathing down and quiet. Once he did we both heard the noise.

A low, husky growl came from the fog surrounding us. Circling us as if we were the prey.

While waiting for the inevitable attack, I whispered, “I think it’s another guy who likes holding out his R’s.”

A flash of striped orange and black fur flashed through the clearing from one side to the next. I looked down to see that I was actually eviscerated. I pressed my hand over the wound that literally opened my tummy to the world. Scared my insides would fall out, I removed a healing potion. I popped the cork, and poured half directly onto the wound then chugged the rest while Brenden stood in front of me.

Before I was able to toss the bottle to the side he struck again. I was able to get a better look and it was indeed, a seven foot tall anthropomorphic tiger. The health potion was still hard at work, the cuts to the back of my knees healing as soon as they were created by the ridiculously fast tiger king.

I stepped in front of Brenden, “Get back, I have some damage built up. If he slows enough just throw at the both of us. You can unfreeze me after.”

He looked hesitant at first but Brenden slowly backed away as I brought out the Scoffer’s Iron-Gale once more to gain the extra damage to Wind attacks.

I pushed my Will, Perception, and Intelligence to the limit as I cast Manasight and waited. I could almost make out the exact shape of the giant tiger through the fog. The monster appeared to be made of pure Mana, even in its physical form. Seeing him was almost like watching a car drive by through the early-morning mountain fog, something I had plenty of experience with.

The Stalker dashed.

I triggered Retaliating Wind’s payoff as he sped through the clearing faster than my eyes track. His mouth opened wide and aimed for my neck. The violent gust caused him to stumble as a small glowing rock entered my peripherals.

I ran from the tigerman as fast as I could, diving to the ground with my arms guarding my head.

Snap!

THWOOM!

The Tiger froze in the center of the trail. His eyes followed my movements as I closed in while summoning my mace.

I swung like I only had one attempt to break out of a steel box with a plastic spoon.

The Tiger, The Count, The Stalker, was dead. Shattered into a fine icy mist.

Great.