CHAPTER 24: Lithium...
I awoke suddenly, shooting straight up as my feet fell to the floor.
How did I get in a bed? This thing is horrible, I’d rather sleep in that cave again.
Arthur was sitting next beside the bed tail wagging, happy to see me.
I was clearly in a trailer of some sort with no window in sight.
Most of the saturated blue walls were covered in video game posters and sketches. The drawings were mostly of monsters, some familiar, while others showed heroes wearing grand armor and wielding massive fantasy weapons.
“Where is she?!” I stood frantically and the world spun, still woozy I fell back into bed.
I checked my HUD and couldn’t find any lasting debuffs.
Arthur held out a paw to have me stay seated. He seemed confident everything was fine so I trusted he took care of it.
I lay back on the bed, “Since you have everything under control, I’m gonna take a nap and sleep off whatever this is cowboy.”
While lying there staring at the collection of drawings, I remembered seeing more of the vile green and black smoke radiate from the woman when I had her locked in a bear hug. It traveled through my armor as if it were a screen door before fading into my skin. I was surprised to still be alive after feeling the amount of power the spell contained.
I reached toward a sketch of a familiar looking monster.
“Shit!” I sat up and yelled in surprise finally noticing my hand, “It didn’t come back with the health potion? Why?”
My brain reeled seeing the nub where my small finger should be.
More than half of my finger was gone, healed over into a tiny stump.
Arthur nudged my leg as I sat up staring at my deformed hand.
“I don’t understand, my arm was almost completely off that first day. It was hanging by the smallest flap of skin and muscle. My legs have been turned into mush on multiple occasions and I likely hold the world record for being sliced, stabbed and gnawed on. Why would my smallest finger not heal back... Goddammit!”
I fell back into the old beat up twin bed once more, staring at the spot where my finger should have been until exhaustion claimed me once more.
I woke to the door handle shaking back and forth and slapped Arthur on the rump to wake him.
I looked down to see the cheap push-button door handle pop up, signifying it was unlocked.
I withdrew Blood Lust as the room was too small to swing around my other weapons.
The door swung open and I went in.
As I lunged for the door Arthur hopped in front of me and jumped on his hind legs to paw me in the chest and force me back like he always does but this time with much more zest.
The back of my knees hit the edge of the bed and I ended up falling back in a seated position as the door opened showing LARP kid. He was carrying a tray full of different plants and flowers, there were a few small vials holding different liquids and a small candle lit underneath one of those wax melters, a bowl sitting where the wax normally would.
The boy looked confused to see me awake, “S—S—Achemm. Salutations Good Sir!” He began in his ridiculous Medieval accent. I felt bad thinking of it as a British Accent because it’s just, horrible.
“Yeah, uhh, what time is it?” I asked.
“The darkness and unknown hath shroud the world in mystery.”
“Ha! What?!”
“The sun hath bade us farewell. We are pawns in the arms of the shrroouud.”
“So, it’s night time then.”
“Corrrrect my Good Sir.” The boy said, unrelenting.
“Aight.” I took a deep breath. Preparing myself for a conversation with a knight of SummerRose, the Eighth of the Seven Kingdoms.
“What’s all that on the tray?” I asked.
“My Good Sir, I am but a humble Battlemage here to serve, and these... Are my tools.”
He grabbed the lantern that was hanging in the corner of the room letting off a semi green light. It looked to be an old oil lantern or one of those cheap knock-offs you’d find at Walmart that he spray painted, green. The one broken window let out most of the light as the spray paint used was not meant for glass.
“Ohhh, Green Lantern... Funny.” I said finally getting it.
This kid is hilarious, but how the fuck did he last so long?
He set the lantern on a makeshift end table that used to be an old cat tower. When the flicker from the flame settled I finally got a good look at him.
Short black hair, all buzzed with the same size razor. He had a decent size cowlick on the top of his head where hair stood straight making it look like he missed a spot while shaving. He was scrawny, like he hadn’t ate a proper meal in weeks, which was odd considering its only been about a week since this started.
Maybe he was stuck in a dungeon as well? Right...
His gaunt face showed features of youth underneath the malnutrition, with tight pores and the occasional zit spotting his hairless face.
His clothes all looked too big for him, hanging low under his armor, which was just a couple pieces of super thin sheet metal hanging from ropes tied around his neck and arms. He was likely considered an adult in the previous world... Barely.
He began adding plants to the small bowl. Crushing them down with the back of a spoon to mix them. He added a drop of water and continued mixing.
“Yes Good Sir, the Green Lantern is an old Legend in this world... In brightest day, in blackest night...”
As he went through the entire Green Lantern oath, I pulled up his tag to identify him and make sure his actual name is Brandon or whatever. Who knows what this kind of world could do to the vulnerable human mind. We just saw one lady who clearly lost it, and this kid is coping with some real shit.
Sometimes, I’m still not sure if I’ve lost it.
[Brenden Bensen—Budget Battlemage]
[Native]
The first thought that came to mind, his parents like the letters E and B.
The second was why the hell would anyone take a class that was a budget version of the original? There has to be more to it, right?
I watched as he wrapped his concoction of plants in an old coffee filter then dropped it into a cup of heating water.
“Let this sit over night, then drink in the morn my Good Sir and be refreshed. As if Mother Nature hath spit her heavenly golden brown Nectar dirrrrectly into your mouth.”
“Can you stop calling me good sir? Name’s Rick. And what, the, fuck man? ‘As if Mother Nature spit her nectar into my mouth?’ Whaa?” I was completely thrown off.
“Sir Rrrrrick! ‘Tis a strong name. A name that will be remembered by the masses. Forgive me. A slip of the tongue? Perhaps. My apologies goo—Sir. ‘Tis always been a dream of mine to travel with a knight. Please, take me as your Squire good. Er. ah. Achem! Sir Rrrrick!”
“Ugh.” My head fell down and I looked at Arthur as I sighed, “’Tis, doesn’t work there bud, You should have said ‘It hath.’ Anyways, What is this shit you mixed up? And you said they were your tools, but they’re plants?”
“Ah yes, the Nectar. After many mishaps being the battered victim of my own follies I have mastered this concoction! ‘The Nectar of Good Tidings’. Drink at first light and feel the greeting palm of our Lady Luck.”
“Holy shit kid, Why do you talk like this? Is this a game to you or are you just losing it?” I finally snapped. Speaking with this kid was a whirlwind and I was barely able to keep track of any thoughts or stay on topic.
“Sir Rick... I assure you that I am not losing it. This is the way I have always spoken. Not Father was also quite averse to it and held me in low esteem.”
I could see the hurt through the facade he put up, Arthur walked over to the boy, nudging his arm. Brenden sat in a small chair beside the bed and started petting Arthur.
“Shit. I’m sorry kid, do your thing. I’m just pissed, and confused... How could a human do that to another? We’re all fucked as it is, why would anyone attack another randomly?” My emotions were beginning to unfold a bit.
“I—I don’t know.” The boy answered, his accent faltering for a moment before turning it back up, “I knew her. Before the Heavens grasped our people with her loving arms. She, Achem! She was part of a, Literary Society with Mother.”
“A Literary Society?” I asked patting Arthur on the side, “Oh! She was in a book club with your mom?”
“Yes Sir Rrrick. She was a companion of Mothers. Always pleasant enough, never showed an inkling that would lead one to believe she was a follower of Satan.”
Trying to parse the religious bullshit I took a deep breath and asked, “What do you want to do with her?”
“Mm-m-m- Me?” He stuttered in his normal voice again.
I smiled at the boy to hopefully show reassurance, “Well, yeah. You knew her, so you should have some say in the matter.”
“I don’t nnn-nn-n. ACHEM! I am not worthy of deciding fate. It should be a true knight, such as yourself.” He said clearing his voice then cranking it back up to 110%.
“I’m not a knight kid. Check the class.”
“Sir Rrrick... Your class is not what makes you a Knight. ‘Tis your courage and brrrravery that deem it so. You dealt with mine own pestilence patiently whilst I threatened you and your fine companion here.” He rubbed Arthur’s backside while continuing, “And still, you chose to stay, fight, and prrrotect the weak.” When he paused I could see the self deprecation in his eyes, “That is what makes you a Knight, I am yours to command!”
“Woof!” Arthur joined in making me smile.
“I’m just a dude with a crazy cool dog, I don’t command anyone, not even this guy.” I said thumbing to Arthur, “Let’s go see Book Club then call it a night. We can talk more about next steps in the morning.”
Brenden led me outside, Arthur stayed back to get some rest because he wanted to take first watch.
We were indeed staying in the light blue trailer, I looked around to see stacks of trash piled on more trash.
Cheap siding, decking and underlayment from floors and roofs surrounded us. Everything held in place with broken lumber and stacks of, you guessed it, trash. There were piles of destroyed appliances, plumbing, children’s toys and random car parts all stacked around the makeshift wall that stood over 7 feet tall.
The kid literally made a mountain range of garbage.
“Damn, how long did all this take?” I asked as we passed another rickety trailer following the man made mountain.
“I work on the Great Barnumville Wall every day, all day. Adding to its mass and widening its protection. Its glory is what protects us now.”
“That’ll do it.” I whispered to myself, then asked, “It doesn’t just, fall over?”
“We have suffered breaches but her rrrough terrain aids us.”
Sounded like the garbage trips things up. Including him from what I’ve heard.
“The witch lie yonder in the keep. Tread carefully Sire. She is roped but do not fall for her devious trickery, she is undoubtedly corrupt.” Brenden said pointing to a white trailer with stripes.
On my way to the trailer I noticed the stripes were created with gray spray paint that still looked tacky. The lines ran vertically and parallel to each other. Each 2 inch thick line traveled top to bottom, spaced every 8 to 10 inches from the next around the entire trailer.
It took a minute but I finally understood…
He painted the trailer to look like a prison cell.
I laughed out loud, I was liking this goofy kid more and more, the spray paint shit was hilarious.
The fact that he would take the time to do this shows something. I’m not sure what that is yet, but it’s definitely something.
Walking up to the door I moved a broken dishwasher that was just sitting awkwardly in the way. Before opening the door I looked back, “You coming?”
“I Uh. If it is your command Sir!” He said, voice shaking.
“Come on, just stay quiet unless I look to you. Good?”
“Of course my lord.”
“No, not lord! Anything but that.” I said then turned back to push the door open.
“As you command Sire.”
I entered the trailer, the woman was standing on the other side of the room. Luckily, she didn’t wait too long before she spit. A small deep black projectile shot from her mouth at my face.
I pushed Brenden back down the stoop and stepped behind the door.
The cheap tin door took the damage for us, it began hissing and I saw smoke drifting over the top.
“Really lady? Spit!? That’s not nice!” I turned back to Brenden lowering my voice, “Do you have any thick bags or something to put over her head? I’m going to go take care of that spitting problem but I’d like to talk with her.”
I removed a random sock from my inventory that I found while we were cutting through homes. I equipped my shield and armor then pulled my cloak over my head for extra protection from the “Splash” damage.
“I have an idea!” Brenden whispered excitedly and took off.
“Alright... Let’s try this again lady!” I said walking back up the steps.
She was right on the other side of the door trying her best attempt of a sneak attack.
I slammed my shield into the door as she tried to spit.
The door slammed into her forehead, sending the spit skywards. The black dart of acid flew into the ceiling, quickly eating away at the remaining roof and leaving a new skylight.
I flashed around the door and stuffed the sock into her mouth, pushing it back so she couldn’t think about spitting. I saw the grotesque look cross her face when she realized what I shoved in her mouth.
I dragged her back using the ropes around her wrists and set her down on the floor.
I looked around the trailer, it was almost all open due to the explosions.
The wall from the living area to the bathroom was non existent. The toilet sat a little crooked but was still in one piece and felt sturdy enough. I removed some rope from my inventory and tied her feet together then tied the same rope around the toilet. I tested my knots and made sure everything was Strength stat tight.
She wasn’t going anywhere.
“Mmmm mmm RRRR.” The woman tried talking as she growled at me through the sock.
“Well, if you didn’t spit then you wouldn’t be eating a random sock I found in a sewage drain.” I lied about where I found the sock, it worked though as she began gagging, “Patient, we’re going to talk, we’re just waiting for Brenden... Good kid, I heard you were in a Book Club with his mom? Linda, you really fucked up by choosing the wrong team.”
Brenden ran back into the room panting, somehow out of breath.
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He’s level 10 he shouldn’t be out of breath.
“Here!” He said handing me a small plastic globe, I think it was possibly a cheap terrarium or aquarium in a past life.
Now, it’s a poisonous spit guard.
“Be nice Linda. Not in front of the kid.” I said leaning over to shove the plastic globe over her head.
She grunted in pain as I forcefully bopped it down over her nose and ears.
“I coated the inside with some of the antidote I made for you earlier. It should counter her poison” Brenden explained.
“Ah you made me an antidote? See Linda, told you he was a good kid.” I said, looking from Linda back to Brenden, giving him a look that meant it was time for him to be silent.
I pulled the sock from her mouth and she spit at us anyways.
The poison fizzed out on contact with the globe.
“You motherfuckers! You will die! Voldrix will.” She began yelling but I throat chopped her to stop her rant before it began.
“Shut up... We’ll get to that prick in a minute. I have a few questions first.” I forced my emotions in check as I continued, “Why Linda? Why try to kill other humans? We’re all on this fucked up planet together, dealing with this apocalypse or whatever you’d like to call it. We shouldn’t be fighting each other.”
“You fucking idiot. Don’t push your morals and religion on me! I lost my world. The dead ripped my body apart and feasted on my flesh, I was off to nothingness, until I was gifted life once more. The Flesh Smith, Kaeldrix. My King. My God! He reforged my flesh in the blood of Kael’Thul, making it stronger than ever. He let me breathe once more. You say I’m on the wrong team but it was the heavens who stole our people to fight in this war. And they will lose, hehehe...”
She continued to cackle, “That. That’s a lot to unpack Linda and I’m not sure I trust the source, but I’m not talking about heaven and hell when I say team, I’m saying us versus them, Humanity... But that’s not a reason as to why you attacked us.”
“To grow more powerful and to please my lords. The Lords of the Fourth, the music they create... It’s soo beautiful.” She said, drifting off and closing her eyes as she hummed the same hymn the Grand Cantor sang.
“I understand attacking me, maybe my dog. But what about Brenden? You brought a horde to his doorstep without even knowing who was there. You got lucky when you saw my tag and realized you had your boyfriends enemy in sight.”
“I’ll kill any human I come across. I don’t give a shit about little Broken Brenden. His mother was a slu-UEGH.” I karate chopped her throat, harder this time.
She coughed and gagged on her previous words.
“Watch your fuckin’ mouth.” I pointed a stern finger in her face then continued with the questions, “You chose to be aligned with hell?”
She answered, voice hoarse from the chops, “Of course. They gave me a chance at life and power, I went from being eaten by the dead to controlling them, and loving them.”
“Heh? Loving them? You’re a fuckin’ nut case Linda.” I sighed, “So the X crew… They knew I would be coming through this way then?”
“Mmmm Yes, and they know where you’re heading. They will have your family waiting for you. I can’t wait to see Voldrix perform. He will sing the Hymn of Maldrix while he flays the skin from your family in fron—”
I punched her in the face, knocking her out.
Rage was boiling just under my skin, but I held it in check as I took a deep breath, counting to myself.
“Well, that didn’t go as planned... What a loon.” I said before continuing, “Hope you don’t mind the punches and whatnot, I could see you flinch when I struck her.”
“Apologies Sire. I understand, ‘tis necessary. I just have a weak stomach for violence is all.”
“I get it, it’s not pretty or fun. It shouldn’t be.” I tied another rope from her hands to the sink so she had no way to escape while we figured out what to do.
“I gotta know Brenden, how in the hell are you level 10?” I asked, genuinely curious since I saw his tag stating he had a class.
“Ahh, With good tidings and slow beasts Sir Rick!” He answered, as frustrating as ever.
“You were lucky, but how did you kill so many monsters?”
“I was unloading provisions for Mother. She was inside, unloading the sacks I dropped off. I went out to grab another paper sack and that’s when it happened.” His accent began cracking as he continued telling the story, “I turned around and Mm-mmm-Mom was, flying, into the sss-ssky.”
“Shit, take your time.” I awkwardly pat his shoulder to calm him, then he continued, accent back in full motion.
“There were a few others chosen by the gods to follow her to the Heavens. Everyone else mutated into wild beasts.” He took a breath so he didn’t lose his composure, “I found a Spell Crystal, ‘twas divine intervention, I was on the ground outside the castle with the abominations closing in when it rolled out from under Mother’s burning steed. I grabbed it and ran... I ran as fast as I could until I came upon the yellow road which led me into the castle which I reside to this day.”
“Okay, but what was the spell crystal and how did it help you reach level 10?” I asked not having my question answered, which seemed like a thing with this kid.
“Ah rrright. The spell, ‘tis a powerful spell. This heavenly system deems it, the “Magic Pebble” but when I speak its true name, it is much more devastating.”
“Magic Pebble... That’s how you got to such a high level? By throwing rocks?” I was... Bewildered.
“Ah you can not grrrasp the power my magics hold. I infuse stone with raw Mana causing a magical explosion. ‘Tis Arcanium Volley!”
“Okay, but it didn’t seem like you had great aim?”
“We all must train, hone our bodies into weapons. Mine own training montage is yet to begin.”
“Gotcha... Well, let’s go... hit the hay? Is that one? Eh, I think little Linda is out for the count. We’ll catch up in the morning and figure out what we’re doing with her.”
“Ah you must mean ‘tis time to rrrrretire for night!” Brenden said as we left the trailer and tossed the smashed dishwasher back where it was.
I woke early the next morning, taking my second watch from Brenden.
After a while I took a walk around the perimeter of the, Great Wall of Bartlebee?... The wall went all the way around the trailers the kid used. Two of the other demolished mobile homes were used as part of the front wall. The line of junk spanned a hundred feet at least.
“This kid is lost.” I said to myself while patrolling.
I could tell he was a good kid and that he meant well. I was still unsure how he lasted this long but I was glad he did. There’s enough horror in the world now, it’s good to have a ray of light, even if it is a bit, wonky.
We have to leave today, especially now that I know those demons are able to affect our world.
Based on what the guys in Conviction saw while suffering from dissonance, there was a giant demon with a forge and bodies everywhere. This flesh smith thing is likely true, but how did they effect the world here in such a way if they’re on a different plane of existence, planet, or whatever?
No matter what I did or who I talked to, I just had more questions afterwards. It was beginning to weigh on me. I was never a control freak but I do like knowing what’s going on and how things work, at least a bit.
“Right now I need to leave the questions, control what I can control.” I said walking up to sit on the deck behind the “SkyBlue Castle”.
“Do I bring the kid with me? It might be more dangerous for him if he comes with. He has this set up here and he’s made it so far and leveled up somehow.” Thinking out loud I realized I was still asking questions, “Time to buck up. The kid comes if he wants to, at least until we get to mom and dad. Then we find a safe space for everyone, even if I have to walk them all back to Conviction.”
“Achem! Conversing with thine self?” Brenden said sneaking up on me. Voice quieter but still putting on the act.
“Hey, G’mornin’. Yeah, just more questions. I’m trying to ignore them but I keep being led back to more goddamn questions. Hopefully the guy we see today will have some answers.”
“You have a cursed mouth Sir Rick. What man do you speak of?”
“The Manager. Whoever that is. I have a—,” I was interrupted.
“A quest. Yes, I have met another who had the same quest. He said he would return after he spoke with the manager but he never returned. It hath been 3 days and I fear the worst.” Brenden said.
“Yeah, that’s where me and Arthur are heading when he wakes up. We just need to figure out what to do with this crazy book club lady.”
“You enjoy giving nicknames do you?”
I laughed, answering, “I do.”
“Please Sire, bless me with a powerful nickname, capable of bringing change to this horrid world.”
I laughed harder, “Really? My names are pretty basic. I usually give them to monsters so I know what to refer to them as in my head. It’s usually something dumb like, tree dude, or Sign guy. Arthur is a different story, he has a ton of ‘em, Puck, Buster, Duke, he doesn’t like Dookie. Cowboy, Cowpoke. There’s more, it’s really whatever noise my mouth makes at that time, but I guess Buck is the front runner.”
He smiled at my rant, “Yes. Really.”
“Alright, I’ll let you know when it comes to me. Any thoughts on what to do with Book Club?”
This was the first time I saw the boys face look any type of serious. His eye brows creased and he took on a stone cold expression, “We need to execute her.”
“Whoaaa. I wasn’t expecting that... You’re serious?”
“I am. She is too far gone... For the words she dare think to utter about Mother, she should face the Executioners Axe.”
“Right… While I’m glad to see some fire in your eyes, no. We aren’t executing anyone.” I said firmly.
“Then we carry her out and set her free? As soon as we do she will attempt to kill us again. She is a ravenous devil.”
“I agree, I can bring her with me and Arthur today and then set her free somewhere. If I have to knock her out first I will. Maybe set her up on a roof where nothing can get to her?”
“Let the crrrows peck her eyes out as she sleeps.”
“Jesus kid... Yeah, I forgot about the crows. I’ll figure something out... So, you mentioned an antidote last night?” I asked, changing the subject as it was clear that the kid was fuming over the witch.
“Ah yes Good Si—Sir Rick. The Antidote. Luckily, it was a basic poison she used, although it was very strong. I have a stock pile of ingredients.”
“Where did you learn that? Do you have a profession?”
“Yes Sire, I am an alchemist in my spare time, I can identify ingredients and I even get a ping on my map when a rare ingredient is near. I’ve been collecting samples, running tests and increasing my knowledge for days.”
“How were you offered that profession? Don’t you usually have to activate it somehow? I was offered Smithing when I messed around on the forge back at the Safe Zone.”
“Safe Zone?” Brenden whispered then paused a moment before continuing, “Achem, Yes. I looted an Alchemical Starter Kit from an undead monstrosity a few days back... What do you mean Safe Zone?”
“I was stuck in a dungeon for about 18 days I think, more of a labyrinth. There was a time distortion that made it so only hours passed here. I finished the assigned quest, walked through a portal, and was gifted a Safe Zone as a reward for completion.”
“Dungeons are real? That… This... THAT’S FUCKING AWESOME!” I thought he was going to burst from the information and I guess he sort of did.
I chuckled at his excitement, “Yeah, it was something else... So, what are your plans? I can show you on the map where Conviction is and you can travel there and say I sent you? There’s good people and they need a mage, but it’s your call.”
“My plans? As I asked before, I beg of you to take me as your squire, Sir Rick. Help me become strong, help me become a knight.”
“I’m not a knight Brenden.”
“I saw you remove a javelin from your chest and fire it back at your enemy. I watched you fight off a literal giant and stand tall while your thigh was naught but peeled bone, and still, you defeated your enemies. You sir, are a Knight.”
“Right.” I took a breath to let the ridiculousness pass, “Well, if you want to travel with us you’re more than welcome. We are going South to find my family. You can stay with them if you’d like to when we get there.”
“I will travel with you and follow you to the depths of Hell,” The kid got serious again.
“Well, you don’t have to go that far, Bennington will do.”
“Ahh, if ever there was a hell on Earth.”
I burst into laughter again. There had always been that stigma around the town. We both laughed together as Arthur walked out of the house a moment later.
“Mornin’ Buck!”
“Good Morning your puppyship.” Brenden stood up and bowed to Arthur then pet him. The big dog soaked up the attention.
“Time to get to it.” I stretched and readied myself to leave.
“Ahh Sire, I must insist you drink the Nectar of Good Tidings before we set off,” Brenden pulled the cup from his inventory that I’d forgotten inside.
“Hmph... Fuck it, hand it over.” Brenden handed me the plain mug then removed a small bowl that he set down for Arthur.
I drank the liquid down like a shot and a notification appeared.
Nectar of Good Tidings has granted 24 Hour Buff—Endurance and Vitality increased 5%, Movement Speed Increased 10%, +15% Luck Increase
“Holy shit you weren’t kidding. This stuff kicks like a Donkey!” I said doing my best Shrek, something about the kid brought out my goofy side.
Brenden showed a knowing smile as Arthur slapped his up with his tongue, “Glad you like it Sire.”
We went in to grab Linda. She managed to shake off the fish bowl but her face was eating the floor so it was easy enough to walk up to her and stuff it back on.
I removed the ropes from her feet and used the rope tied to her arm restraints as a leash.
Before leaving the trailer park Brenden turned around and took a knee.
“Thank you Mother for watching over me. I’ve got it from here.” He whispered to the sky.
We continued into town of Manchester. Brenden said we should take the back roads and stay away from the shopping centers as there were a lot of ‘Torewrists’. It took me a minute to understand what he was saying until he spelled it out. Some type of new Transmogrified Monster.
Linda was constant trouble. She would pull on the ropes then quickly turn back and run at me full steam. She was headbutting me in an attempt to break the plastic bubble around her face. Her failed attempts always made Brenden laugh out loud then heckle her
We split off a ways to throw her off of our first destination. She tried casting an incantation when we were passing some Undead but I quickly shoved the sock back into her mouth.
She walked the rest of the way with sock in mouth until I saw a house that was mostly put together, “This works, we can drop her off here then head West a bit before turning South.”
“Rrrright Sir!”
“Woof!”
We showed Brenden how we go about clearing homes, first using Arthur’s nose, then making noise and waiting 15 seconds to make sure nothing stupid was fumbling about, then we silently swept rooms until the home was clear. Better to be safe since we don’t know the intelligence of every monster.
I tossed the witch on one of the stools surrounding the kitchen island. I tied the leash end of the rope around a few thick wooden chairs that I brought in from the dining area, then used a longer rope to tie her to the island.
I had to make it difficult for her to get loose, but not impossible.
I just had to buy us enough time to leave the area so we weren’t forced into another altercation with her.
I tied knot after knot around random items in the kitchen, stacking them on the chairs that I placed on the counter tops and island.
Ha, this is fun...
Brenden had her dagger so I left a butter knife at the other end of the room next to the sink and put every other knife and sharp object in my inventory. As soon as she moved for the knife, the items around the room would start falling in on her, and get in her way.
She watched in disgust as I created the little booby traps while giggling to myself. Groaning each time she realized what I was doing.
“Well Book Club, we’re gonna leave ya to it. This is your second... No, I suppose your third chance at life. You’ll always be a witch but you don’t have to be a bitch... You don’t have to be evil. We’re all human.” I turned to leave.
I stopped at the door and turned back around, “Don’t let me see you again or I may take the boys advice and kill you,”
Not even a few yards down the road we heard my Home Alone Traps go off followed by a frustrated scream and we all laughed. Arthur kept his senses on Linda until we were out of range.
“’Twas indeed quite the intriguing little snare you built. Surely tickled my fancy.”
I started laughing, “Please don’t say something tickles your fancy... Damn B-Rend.”
“Ahhh... Sir B. Rend. I enjoy this.” His face lit up with a smile.
Still laughing I joined in, “Okay Good Sir B-Rend! To the Managerlrlrlr!”
“Barrr...” Arthur did not like my rendition of Brenden’s speech.
Brenden laughed, “Indubitably!”
“Woof!”
We set off toward the Equinox, joking and laughing as the world allowed.