Omeyocán was an earthly paradise filled with beautiful flowers, as if it were an eternal meadow. No lakes, mountains, or rivers could be seen anywhere around it… nothing. Only an endless flowering plain.
However, the flowers were peculiar. Those on the left side were blue, while those on the right side were red. That same duality could be seen in the sky, since the left side was a pale yellowish color, with a sun illuminating the land. On the other side, to the right, there was a moon, and the sky was bluish. The celestial bodies seemed completely motionless over that great meadow of flowers.
In the distance, two gigantic statues rose. The one on the right represented a yellowish woman, dressed in the royal garments of a Toltec queen, with white and red tones. On the left side, the statue represented a red man dressed in the garments of a Toltec king, except his ornaments were blue and green.
The statues seemed to gaze blankly toward the horizon, and they were the only artificial construction that could be seen in that world. Near them, Freyja was fighting two gods, one male and one female.
A few moments earlier, Epona, Loki, Freyja, and Susanoo had arrived in that peculiar world. They had appeared directly in front of the statues of those two colossi.
“Is this the world of the trial?” Epona asked as she looked at the infinite paradise where they found themselves.
“Welcome, travelers, to Omeyocán, the thirteenth heaven,” two voices were heard speaking in unison. One was the voice of a man, and the other the voice of a woman.
Then the members of Orniskem turned toward the statues. Two deities were standing on them, one male and one female.
“If you have come for the trial of the Thirteen Heavens, step forward. Otherwise, withdraw,” the two mysterious gods continued speaking.
“Purrlease wait a meowment,” Freyja said, confused. “This is the thirteenth heaven? Ain’t that supposed to be the last one?”
“The trial was modified so that Tezcatlipoca’s heaven would be the last,” both gods said in unison. “In ancient times, this was the final Heaven, the Heaven of the Creators of the universe, and the place where Quetzalcóatl had his laboratory.”
“The creators of the universe? You mean, you?” Epona asked.
“Negative,” both deities replied. “The creators, the dual pair, are only a philosophical concept. They have no appearance or physical form.”
Then the two gods leapt from the gigantic statues and stood before the members of Orniskem.
The man was painted red, except for his face, which was painted blue. He had such a beautiful face and such a seductive body that Freyja and Epona could not help looking at him with lust. On his head, blessed with beautiful long blond hair, he wore a headdress made of quetzal feathers. In addition, flowers, branches, and wild mushrooms sprouted from his body. He wore only a loincloth to cover his nakedness.
The woman, on the other hand, was very beautiful, with sensual red eyes and long brown hair. Unlike the other god, her body was not painted, but her face was colored red. A helmet made with the face of an eagle covered her head, and several feathers and flowers adorned the top of that helm.
Covering her enormous breasts, the goddess had a reddish tilma tied over them, covering her nipples while leaving her back completely exposed. She also wore a tiny white skirt with red and yellow ornaments, and white sandals on her feet. Loki could not stop staring, fascinated, at the sensual body of the beautiful goddess.
“I am the Prince of Flowers, Xochipilli,” the man said.
“And I am the Beautiful Flower, Xochiquétzal,” the woman said.
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“Together, we are the siblings appointed to guard this Heaven in the absence of our lord Quetzalcóatl,” both gods said again in unison.
“What a gorgeous woman!” Loki said with a lustful gaze. “Too bad she’s only a clone of the real one, because this one looks like she’s got no emotion.”
“I admit that boy is real hot too,” Freyja said, embarrassed. “I think I’ll look for him when we go to Tula so I can… get to know him.”
“That’s how I wanted to catch you, you lusty hag!” Loki shouted with a victorious look.
“Hey, I can’t help havin’ carnal desires too, degenerate,” Freyja replied irritably.
“Weak-minded beings,” Susanoo said, embarrassed as he listened to his Norse companions lose their composure over the two Toltec gods.
“"So blind art thou that thou cannot perceive how the beauty of those insignificant gods doth pale before Tul-chan's lovely smile,” he added.
“How can you like someone with so much fur and a rabbit face?” Epona asked Susanoo, puzzled.
Suddenly, the eastern god placed his hand on his chest and began declaiming in his native tongue:
“Thy name doth carrythe very hue of those dreams which have evertrembled within my heart.”
The three gods looked at Susanoo strangely as he continued making more and more poems, only in his native language.
“I think I opened Pandora’s box,” the equine goddess said sarcastically.
While the gods argued among themselves, the Toltec pair interrupted them, again saying the same phrase in unison:
“If you have come for the trial of the Thirteen Heavens, step forward. Otherwise, withdraw.”
“I almost forgot,” Loki confessed. “But I want to face the bombshell on the right.”
“Well, truth is, they don’t look that strong,” Epona said confidently. “If the four of us fight them together, we’ll surely win.”
But then Freyja raised her hand, signaling them to stop.
“Loki, Epona, and Susanoo, y’all go on ahead and reach the next heaven,” the Norse goddess said. “I’ll purrass this trial.”
“Hey, I want to fight the girl,” Loki said reluctantly.
“You’re an idiot,” Freyja replied. “You’re gonna beat her up, not meowke love to her.”
“You just want to hog both of them,” Loki added. “Didn’t know you also liked swimming on the other side of the river.”
“Idiot,” Freyja replied. “Take this seriously, degenerate. Meow”
“Freyja-san,” Susanoo interrupted, “thou sayest we should continue onward, but we do not know how to leave this planet.”
“Hey, meow two,” Freyja shouted at the Toltec pair. “How do we get outta this purrlanet and go to the next Heaven?”
“You must position yourselves between these two statues and fly toward the atmosphere. That way, you will reach the twelfth heaven, Teteocán,” the pair replied in unison.
“Good, y’all heard ’em,” Freyja said. “I’ll distract them, and meow run to that purrtal.”
“Daijobu, Freyja-san,” Susanoo said.
“However, no one may pass here unless they defeat us first,” both Toltec gods said in unison.
Then Freyja shouted:
“Köttur lögun (Cat Shape)!”
The goddess adopted her feline form just as she threw herself toward the pair of gods and struck both of them with her staff. However, they stopped the Norse goddess’s attack with brute force, using the palms of their hands.
“Now!” Freyja shouted, and Loki grabbed Susanoo and Epona, then teleported to the exit of the precinct. The gods flew and disappeared from there.
“Bad luck that my furriend can teleport,” Freyja said with a smile. Raising her divine power, she hurled both gods far across the eternal field of flowers.
Freyja placed her staff vertically and gripped it tightly as she watched the two gods stand.
“My name is Freyja, and I am the queen of Vanaheim!” she shouted. “And meow will be defeated by meow power!”
Then the goddess saw Xochiquétzal flying toward her at astonishing speed.
Before Freyja could do anything, the Toltec goddess shouted:
“Tlasojtlalixoxolistli (Love Punch)!”
The Toltec goddess struck Freyja in the face, and a heart emanated from the attack.
The Norse goddess was thrown far away, but she quickly leapt in the air and hurled herself toward the Toltec goddess, striking her with her staff. Xochiquétzal was thrown into one of the statues, destroying part of it. It should be noted that the statues were gigantic colossi hundreds of meters tall.
Then Freyja saw Xochipilli sitting with both legs crossed in a trance position.
“Ain’t you gonna fight?” the Norse goddess asked.
But the Toltec god softly recited:
“Mauistlixochimeyalotl (Divine Pollen).”
The flowers then opened their petals, and golden gas emanated from them.
When Freyja saw this, she quickly made an enormous leap and began flying in the sky. But the effects of the pollen that had subtly touched her began affecting her nervous system, causing the goddess to fall to the ground like a meteorite.
Freyja struggled to stand, but she could not. The field was full of that pollen, which immobilized the body.
Then the goddess realized Xochiquétzal was right beside her. With a powerful kick, the Toltec goddess struck the Norse goddess while saying:
“Xopalmachiotlasojtlalistli (Love Kick)!”
Hearts floated before the powerful impact that hurled Freyja to the other side of the planet like a comet.