On one of the countless streets of the city of Tula, where hundreds of passersby crowded the many markets selling everything from fruit to animals and precious pottery brought from the north of the continent, there stood a beautiful historic pulquería. It was said that the owners of this establishment sent their pulque into the hands of the city’s tlatoani and even Tezcatlipoca himself. This was unheard of, since pulque was considered the alcoholic drink of the poor.
The pulquería was an enormous two-story structure painted in the city’s characteristic colors: white, red, and blue. Above the door was an ornament bearing the face of what resembled a rain god with its mouth open. Many members of the nobility came to this place to pass the time, drink, or amuse themselves. It was not open to just anyone, since its prices were quite high.
The district was likewise an elegant one. Many of the buildings, though commercial, had more than two floors. It was not unusual to see nobles and members of the priestly caste coming to this area to buy curious objects from other parts of the world. The palace precinct was only a few streets away, so people in this zone wore highly elaborate feathered headdresses, fine jewelry, and very showy garments. In the distance, one could see the pyramid where the tlatoani administered justice.
These were complicated times in Tula, as the city had just suffered a coup d’état. However, this had affected the wealthy class of the kingdom little to not at all, since they had simply decided to obey the authority of the new leaders. Still, this coup had been peculiar, since it had not been caused by human armies, but by a god from the north who had defeated the troops in Tollan, the part of the great city where the gods resided. The tlatoani and his men, together with the nobles and priests, had bowed before this new god, handing him power over the city of Tula without a single human casualty.
Even so, this movement was not well regarded by the neighbors of the Toltec Empire. There were eight important kingdoms in that region, excluding the Chichimeca kingdoms to the north.
To the west lay the kingdom of Tzintzuntzan.
To the south lay the Zapotec kingdom and the Mixtec kingdom.
To the east lay the kingdom of Xicallanca and the Totonac kingdom.
To the northeast lay the Huastec kingdom.
To the southwest lay the Hñahñú, or Otomí, kingdom.
The kingdoms of Mayapán were not part of the Toltec border. However, the empire had a very important embassy in Chichen Itzá, the current capital of Mayapán. Basically, that city had been designed by both Maya and Toltec architects, and they always tried to resolve economic and military problems peacefully there.
However, with the fall of the previous Tezcatlipoca, Yayauhqui, and the arrival of a king from the north—a territory considered barbaric—six of the eight kingdoms had grown worried, especially when they realized that their embassies in Tula had been seized.
The diplomats from those embassies were handed over to the new Tezcatlipoca to be sacrificed in the main temple. It was, essentially, an act of war against all his neighbors. An air of nervousness emanated throughout the great Toltec capital, as it could mean a long and bloody war.
Returning to the pulquería, a very beautiful woman sat drinking pulque at one of the tables. The woman, the same one Tul had seen in her nightmare, was Ixchel, the Maya goddess of the moon. A curious white rabbit with red eyes peeked out from her shoulder. The goddess had an ill-tempered look on her face, despite enjoying the exquisite Toltec drink.
Then a brown-skinned man arrived at the door of the pulquería. He was plump and wore a headdress of blue and red feathers, as well as a huge red cape with ornaments resembling jaguar skin. He also wore a loincloth covering his private parts, colored red, white, and green.
Beside the man came an entire entourage of very beautiful women, all of them smiling constantly. They wore red helmets with golden ornaments, and likewise had loincloths to cover their genitals and red bands to cover their breasts.
“Tajín, you are two minutes and three seconds late,” Ixchel said irritably, forcefully placing the small clay cup from which she was drinking pulque onto the table.
“My love, Ixchel,” the man said. “Are you seriously going to get upset over a mere two-minute delay?”
“Punctuality should be sacred, you stupid thunder god,” the Maya goddess replied angrily.
Tajín then embraced his entourage of women.
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“I must leave you for now, but please wait for me until I return,” he told them.
“Your Majesty Tajín, please do not take long. We do not know what we will do without you,” one of the women said, and all of them embraced him with great devotion.
Ixchel merely rolled her eyes at the spectacle, full of indignation. Even worse was when the man began kissing each one of his women.
Finally, the women withdrew. The man sat beside the woman and ordered a jar of pulque.
“Well, despite your extreme punctuality, apparently I was the second to arrive,” the man said with a gesture of indifference.
“Lazy and womanizing,” Ixchel said angrily. “Your reputation precedes your Totonac kingdom, Tajín.”
“Well, my wives took advantage of the trip to do some shopping,” the Totonac god said, again making a gesture of indifference. “Besides, after you, I am the second to arrive.”
“The third,” a voice was heard from another seat.
At that moment, as if smoke were rising from the chair, an imposing god appeared with part of his face painted black and the other part marked with red and white lines, just like the rest of his body. The god wore a headdress with the image of a serpent, adorned with white feathers. He also wore a beautiful obsidian necklace around his neck with several golden details, and a white maxtlatl loincloth.
“Mixcóatl, from the kingdom of Xicallanca, arrived before you,” Ixchel said, pointing at him.
The god of the kingdom of Xicallanca greeted the Totonac god without showing any emotion.
“Bah, you think too highly of yourself just because your kingdom is the direct heir of the first civilization of this valley,” the Totonac god said sarcastically.
But Mixcóatl said absolutely nothing.
Obviously, Tajín began trying to provoke Mixcóatl, while the latter did not react.
At that moment, a new god appeared at the door of the pulquería. The man was completely painted orange. He wore a conical helmet shaped like a cap with precious stones. He also wore an orange skirt with white and red lines. Curiously, the god emanated small clouds around his body.
“You arrive very late, Tlatlauhaqui,” Ixchel said with an irritated look.
“BUT I ARRIVED! THAT IS WHAT MATTERS!” shouted the god, full of excitement, and he ran to sit in one of the empty seats at the table where the gods were gathering.
“What’s the matter, Tlatlauhaqui? Were you up in the clouds?” Tajín asked sarcastically.
“AS ALWAYS, TAJÍN THE JESTER NEVER FAILS TO APPEAR!” the Zapotec god replied loudly and angrily.
The diners began ordering them to lower their voices, but it seemed Tlatlauhaqui was incapable of controlling his volume.
“SO, IXCHEL. DID YOU BRING US HERE TO FIGHT THIS EMPIRE’S NEW TEZCATLIPOCA?” Tlatlauhaqui asked, shouting, which made everyone turn to look at them nervously.
“He already came here drunk,” Tajín said in Nahuatl to all the diners so they would not be frightened. Although they did not speak the divine tongue, most of them understood it, especially among the upper classes of society.
“You are an idiot,” Ixchel said angrily to the Zapotec god, who would not stop apologizing.
At that moment, a very handsome man with a white band tied around his forehead, his face painted with red stripes, and wearing a long green tunic with black and red ornaments, appeared at the door.
“Otontecutli, what kind of hour is this to arrive?” Ixchel asked. “You are nine minutes and twenty-three seconds late.”
“Ixchel, Tajín, Mixcóatl, and Tlatlauhaqui, we have a problem,” said the newly arrived god.
The blood of the four gods ran cold. They believed soldiers of the new Tezcatlipoca were coming to arrest them, or something of the sort.
“What happened?” Tajín asked, intrigued.
“It concerns Cuerauáperi. She is in serious trouble,” said the newcomer worriedly.
“DID THEY CAPTURE HER AND ARE THEY TORTURING HER RIGHT NOW?” Tlatlauhaqui shouted once again, which again caused the diners to look at them suspiciously.
“Shut your fucking mouth, Tlatlauhaqui,” Ixchel said furiously.
“I AM SORRY, BUT IT WAS AN ACCIDENT!” said the Zapotec god, embarrassed, though still shouting.
Otontecutli approached the table where the gods were sitting. Then Ixchel stared directly into his eyes and asked:
“Explain. What happened to Cuerauáperi?”
“Well, I was coming here. Not that I had gotten lost, of course not,” Otontecutli began explaining. “Suddenly I realized that Cuerauáperi was…” the god began to say, before he started crying with sadness.
“Captured?” Tajín asked, frightened.
“Did the soldiers kidnap her?” Ixchel asked.
“DISMEMBERED, WITH HER HEAD DISPLAYED ON THE MAIN ALTAR OF THE TEMPLE OF TULA WHILE THE PRIESTS EAT HER STILL-BEATING HEART?” the Zapotec god shouted again.
The irritated glares from the other gods came immediately.
“No… she… is… she mistook the pulquería and is drinking somewhere else,” Otontecutli finally confessed with tears in his eyes.
It was only to be expected that the gods would be outraged by that answer.
“Are all you Otomís as dramatic as you, Otontecutli?” Tajín asked, puzzled and annoyed.
“But it is a very serious problem,” the Otomí god said.
“All right, tell me where that fool is,” the Maya goddess demanded.
Meanwhile, in another pulquería across the street, the goddess Cuerauáperi was drinking and dancing with the diners.
“I’m telling you the truth, hic, I’d rather drink with humans than with gods, hic,” the goddess said, somewhat drunk, “because humans actually know how to have fun, hic.”
At that moment, Ixchel entered the pulquería, grabbed Cuerauáperi by the ear, and dragged her out.
“What is wrong with you? Don’t you know that being drunk here is punishable by death?” the Maya goddess asked Cuerauáperi furiously, while the latter was still intoxicated.
The woman, who had a headdress of yellowish feathers and a tunic called a tilmatli, which covered her from the shoulders to the groin while leaving her beautiful, toned legs visible, was still on the floor, trying to understand what was happening.
“Ixchel, I thought you were in that pulquería, and well… I got carried away with my new friends,” she said, embarrassed.
The other gods came out of the pulquería and gathered around Cuerauáperi.
“Good. The important thing is that all six of us are here now,” Ixchel said, then turned to look toward the great temple of Tula. “It is time to enter Tollan and speak with the new Tezcatlipoca.”