Steven’s POV
“I should clean this.”
The words were already out before I realized I had said them.
Broken glass glittered near the table.
Water covered part of the floor.
The sofa sat crooked.
A cup had split into pieces that looked manageable.
Sharp.
Visible.
Something I could pick up.
Something I could fix.
I pressed my palm against the floor.
Fang’s body tightened across my legs.
I looked down at him.
“Move.”
His yellow eyes stayed on mine.
“Fang.”
Nothing.
Aqua shifted beside me.
“Steven.”
“I’m just going to clean up.”
“No.”
I looked at her.
Her hair was still damp in places.
Her dress was wrinkled from the floor.
The folded parchment Fredrick had given her rested in one hand.
She looked exhausted.
Because of me.
Because of him.
Because I had made one bad choice and somehow turned our living room into the aftermath of a war.
“The glass is everywhere.”
“It can wait.”
“You could cut yourself.”
“I am not walking through it.”
“The water—”
“Can wait.”
“The sofa—”
“Steven.”
My name stopped me.
Aqua looked at me for a long moment.
Then her expression broke.
Just enough.
“I almost lost you.”
My throat closed.
“I am not worried about the cup.”
I looked away.
The cup was easier.
The cup had rules.
Broken things went into the trash.
Water got wiped away.
Furniture got pushed back into place.
There was a correct order for all of it.
There was no correct order for what Salizar had done with my hands.
My mouth.
My face.
My life.
“I let him.”
Aqua went still.
Fang lifted his head.
I stared at the broken cup.
“I let him in.”
“Steven—”
“No.”
The word came rougher than I wanted.
I swallowed.
“He asked.”
My fingers curled against my knee.
“And I said yes.”
Aqua did not interrupt.
That almost made it worse.
“I knew what he was.”
“You knew some of what he was.”
“I knew enough.”
“You were panicking.”
“That does not make it right.”
“No.”
The answer hurt.
Good.
It should.
Aqua moved a little closer.
Not touching yet.
Just there.
“You were wrong to leave me with him.”
I closed my eyes.
There it was.
The truth.
“I know.”
“You were scared, and instead of talking to me, you decided you had to fix everything before I woke up.”
“I know.”
“You trusted someone you should not have trusted.”
My jaw tightened.
“I know.”
Aqua’s voice softened.
“And then he took more than you gave him.”
My eyes opened.
She was looking at me.
Directly.
No softness meant to erase anything.
No anger meant to destroy me either.
“He asked for control,” she said. “You gave it to him.”
I nodded.
“He did not ask permission to keep your body for days.”
My breathing turned uneven.
“He did not ask permission to lie to me.”
I looked down.
“He did not ask permission to control Fang.”
Fang’s tail struck the floor once.
“He did not ask permission to use your face to make me believe my husband was standing in front of me.”
My stomach twisted.
“Aqua—”
“That part belongs to him.”
“I gave him the door.”
“Yes.”
My chest tightened.
“And he chose not to give it back.”
Silence.
I stared at our hands.
Mine rested near my knee.
Hers rested on the floor between us.
Close.
Not touching.
I wanted hers.
That was the problem.
I wanted to grab her hand.
Pull her against me.
Put my face against her shoulder and pretend I could disappear there until my body stopped feeling contaminated.
But every movement I imagined came with another one behind it.
Salizar’s hand around her waist.
Salizar’s fingers in her hair.
Salizar touching Aqua with hands that looked exactly like mine because they were mine.
I moved my hand farther from hers.
Aqua saw.
Naturally.
“Steven.”
“I’m fine.”
Her eyebrows lifted.
I shut my eyes.
“Sorry.”
“We already discussed that.”
“I know.”
“What are you doing?”
“Nothing.”
“You moved away.”
“I moved my hand.”
“Why?”
I did not answer.
Aqua waited.
I hated that she was patient enough to make silence unbearable.
“He used them.”
Her eyes dropped toward my hands.
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I kept them close to myself.
“He touched you with them.”
“Yes.”
My stomach turned.
“He held you.”
“Yes.”
“He—”
“I know what he did.”
Her voice was gentle.
Not evasive.
I looked at her.
“I don’t know how I’m supposed to touch you now.”
Something in her face softened.
Not pity.
Thank goodness.
“I don’t know what belongs to me yet.”
My voice cracked on the last word.
I hated that.
I looked away before she could see too much.
Aqua moved.
Her fingers touched the back of my hand.
I locked up.
Immediately.
Every muscle went still.
She stopped.
“Do you want me to move my hand?”
My head came up.
“No.”
Too fast.
Her eyes held mine.
“No,” I repeated. “I just…”
I looked at where she was touching me.
Her fingers.
My skin.
Nothing forced.
Nothing stolen.
“I don’t know.”
Aqua’s thumb moved once.
Barely.
“If you want me to stop touching you, I will.”
“I don’t.”
“Then I won’t assume you do.”
My throat tightened.
“Aqua…”
“I mean it.”
She shifted closer.
“I am hurt.”
The words landed hard.
“I am angry.”
I looked down.
“I am scared Salizar could come back.”
My chest collapsed inward.
Then her fingers tightened around mine.
“But I am not afraid of you.”
I looked at her.
She did not look away.
“What he did was wrong,” she said. “What happened matters. I am not pretending otherwise.”
My eyes burned.
“But I am not going to see my husband hurting and decide I cannot hold him because Salizar used his body.”
I swallowed hard.
“He used my hands.”
“They are still yours.”
“My mouth.”
“Still yours.”
“Aqua—”
“I know the difference.”
That stopped me.
She reached for my hand.
Slowly.
Gave me plenty of time to say no.
I did not.
She lifted it toward her face.
My breath caught.
Her cheek settled against my palm.
Warm.
Soft.
Familiar.
My fingers stayed rigid.
I was terrified to move them.
Aqua leaned into me anyway.
“You know how often you touch me when you don’t know what to say?”
I stared at her.
“I don't know what you're talking about.”
Her mouth twitched.
“You do.”
“I’m pretty sure I use words.”
“Sometimes.”
There was something fond in the way she looked at me.
Something that made my chest hurt for an entirely different reason.
“It is very Steven.”
I narrowed my eyes.
“I deny that.”
“You are doing it right now.”
I looked at my hand against her cheek.
“That proves nothing.”
Aqua’s smile grew.
Small.
Tired.
But real.
“I like it.”
That took every argument I had left.
My fingers finally moved.
One.
Then another.
Carefully against her cheek.
Her eyes closed for half a second.
“I’m not letting Salizar teach me to be afraid of this,” she whispered.
My throat hurt.
“What if you remember him?”
Aqua opened her eyes.
The question sat between us.
Ugly.
Necessary.
“Maybe I will.”
My hand almost dropped.
She caught my wrist.
“Do not.”
I froze.
“That does not mean I want you gone.”
My eyes burned harder.
“It means something happened to us.”
Us.
Not just her.
Not just me.
Us.
“And if I remember him,” Aqua continued, “I will remind myself who is in front of me now.”
I could not speak.
She turned her face enough to press a small kiss into my palm.
My chest cracked open.
I looked away because if I did not, I was going to cry.
Maybe I already was.
One tear had made it far enough down my cheek to betray me.
I wiped it away too quickly.
Aqua pretended not to notice.
I loved her for that.
Fang moved against my leg.
His head pushed beneath my other hand.
I stared down at him.
He looked back.
No command.
No invisible force.
Just Fang.
“I’m sorry.”
His head stayed under my palm.
“I should have listened to you.”
His tail tapped once.
Yes.
I laughed weakly.
“Thanks.”
Another tap.
I deserved that one.
“I heard you sometimes.”
Fang went still.
Aqua looked at me.
“What?”
I swallowed.
“Not at first.”
My fingers moved over Fang’s scales.
“At first there was just… nothing.”
I looked toward the floor.
“Sleep, I think.”
Aqua’s hand tightened around mine.
“Then voices sometimes.”
I closed my eyes.
“Things that felt like dreams.”
The lake flashed behind them.
Water.
Aqua laughing.
My body moving when I had not told it to.
“Then I started waking up.”
Aqua barely breathed.
“When?”
“I don’t know exactly.”
I opened my eyes.
“Time was strange.”
I looked at her.
“But by the lake…”
Her face changed.
“I was there.”
Aqua’s lips parted.
“I saw you laughing.”
My voice went rough.
“I saw him put you in his lap.”
Aqua looked down.
“I felt his hands move.”
My stomach rolled.
“The towel.”
Her fingers tightened.
“The kiss.”
“Steven…”
“I tried to move.”
The words came faster now.
“I tried to say something. Anything. I thought maybe if you looked at me long enough, you would know.”
Aqua’s eyes filled.
“I did.”
“Eventually.”
“You were fighting him.”
“I wasn’t winning.”
“You still fought.”
“I should have never put myself there.”
“That can be true too.”
The answer stopped me.
Aqua did not have to choose one truth.
Neither did I.
I could have made a terrible decision.
I could also have been trapped after it.
Both.
Fang shifted under my hand.
“I heard him fighting too,” I said.
Aqua looked at Fang.
“I couldn’t hear what he was saying all the time.”
I rubbed my thumb over one yellow stripe.
“But I knew.”
Fang’s head pressed harder into me.
“I’m sorry.”
His tail tapped once.
Then curled around my leg.
I breathed out.
Slowly.
Aqua looked at me.
“How much else?”
I stared at our hands.
“Pieces.”
Her expression tightened.
“Not everything?”
“No.”
I almost felt guilty saying it.
Which was ridiculous.
Salizar had stolen days from me and somehow I felt guilty for not remembering enough of them.
“Some things are just flashes.”
I swallowed.
“Voices. Your face. Rooms.”
My eyes moved toward the sofa.
I looked away immediately.
“By the end it was clearer.”
Aqua nodded.
She did not ask me to list everything.
Thank goodness.
I looked toward her.
“What was it like for you?”
She went still.
I almost took it back.
“You don’t have to—”
“No.”
Her fingers tightened around mine.
“We said we would talk.”
My stomach knotted.
Aqua stared at our rings for a moment.
Then said,
“He made me think you had come back better.”
That hurt more than anything else she could have said.
I looked away.
“I know.”
“He was calmer.”
My jaw tightened.
“More confident.”
I could barely breathe.
“I thought maybe whatever had happened between us scared you enough that you finally stopped hiding from me.”
Shame burned behind my ribs.
“He held me.”
I closed my eyes.
“He kissed me.”
My fingers curled.
“He slept beside me.”
My breathing stopped.
“And I let him because I thought he was you.”
I pressed my free hand over my mouth.
Aqua’s voice trembled.
“I hate that.”
My eyes opened.
She was crying now.
Quietly.
Not falling apart.
Just telling the truth.
“I hate that he used how much I trust you against me.”
My chest broke.
“I’m sorry.”
“I know.”
“I should have—”
“No.”
Her voice sharpened.
I stopped.
“You are not going to answer every sentence I say by punishing yourself.”
I looked down.
“I don’t know what else to do.”
“Listen.”
That hurt because she was right.
So I did.
Aqua wiped one tear away.
“I am angry at him.”
I nodded.
“I am angry at you too.”
My stomach dropped.
She squeezed my hand before I could retreat.
“Not the same way.”
I stared at her.
“I am angry that you did not trust me enough to tell me you were falling apart.”
My eyes burned.
“I am angry that you decided I needed you fixed more than I needed you honest.”
I swallowed.
“And I am angry that Salizar took that frightened choice and turned it into days of deception.”
Her fingers tightened.
“I am allowed to be angry at both things.”
“Yes.”
My voice barely worked.
“You are.”
“I am also relieved.”
I looked at her.
“You are here.”
Her mouth trembled.
“You are looking at me like Steven.”
Something inside me collapsed.
“And I am scared.”
“Of me?”
The question came too quickly.
Aqua’s face tightened.
“No.”
Immediate.
Certain.
“Of him.”
I breathed again.
“Of the necklace.”
Her eyes dropped to my chest.
“Of waking up one day and wondering whether I know.”
I hated that.
I hated him.
I hated myself.
Aqua moved closer before I could retreat into either.
“But I am not afraid of you.”
She rested her forehead against mine.
“I need you to understand that.”
My eyes closed.
“I’m trying.”
“Good.”
“I don’t know if I believe it yet.”
“That is different.”
Her breath warmed my face.
“You do not have to believe everything tonight.”
Something loosened.
Not much.
Enough.
I leaned into her forehead.
For one second.
Then another.
My hands stayed careful.
But I let myself be there.
Aqua pulled back slightly.
“Steven?”
“Yeah?”
“There is something else.”
The knot in my chest returned.
“What?”
I stared toward the window.
The blue flower from the café sat near it.
Wilted now.
I hated looking at it.
“Dipsi knew.”
Silence.
Aqua did not move.
“What?”
“She knew it wasn’t me.”
Her face went still.
“When?”
“In the woods.”
My voice hardened without permission.
“She looked right at him.”
Aqua’s fingers went cold in mine.
“She knew?”
“Yes.”
“And she did not tell me.”
“No.”
Aqua looked away.
I felt the anger come back.
Fast.
“She left.”
My jaw tightened.
“She knew I was in there.”
I could not prove exactly how much Dipsi knew.
But I remembered the way she had looked.
The way Salizar had spoken to her.
The way she had walked away.
“She knew enough.”
Aqua stared toward the window.
I watched hurt move across her face.
“She left you with him.”
“Yes.”
“She left me with him.”
My chest tightened.
“Yes.”
Aqua closed her eyes.
For a moment, neither of us spoke.
Then she whispered,
“With Dipsi, there is usually a reason.”
A bitter laugh left me.
“That does not make it okay.”
Her eyes opened.
“I know.”
I looked at her.
“You’re not defending her?”
“No.”
The answer was quiet.
“I am trying to understand what kind of reason could make her believe that was acceptable.”
“There isn’t one.”
“Maybe.”
I frowned.
Aqua’s eyes filled again.
“But I do not have room for Dipsi today.”
That stopped me.
She looked exhausted.
Not physically.
Deeper.
I squeezed her hand.
This time, I did it without thinking first.
Aqua noticed.
Her eyes dropped toward our hands.
So did mine.
My fingers were wrapped around hers.
I almost let go.
Aqua tightened her grip.
I left them there.
“I’m sorry,” I whispered.
“I know.”
“I’m probably going to say that a lot.”
“I know that too.”
“You can tell me to stop.”
“I probably will.”
A tiny laugh escaped me.
Aqua smiled faintly.
The room still felt wrong.
But for the first time since Fredrick left, it did not feel like it was closing around us.
Aqua leaned back against the chair.
Her shoulder touched mine.
I did not move away.
“What happens now?” I asked.
She was quiet for a moment.
“Today?”
“Everything.”
“That is too large a question.”
“Yeah.”
Her head rested against my shoulder.
“For today, we clean later.”
I glanced at the broken glass.
“That is bothering me.”
“I know.”
“We sleep.”
I nodded.
“We eat something eventually.”
“I could do that.”
“Good.”
Her fingers moved against mine.
“And when Fredrick says you can travel…”
I looked at her.
“I want to go home for a little while.”
My stomach tightened.
“Atlantis.”
“Yes.”
I stared at her.
“To your family.”
“Yes.”
“They do not know about me.”
“No.”
“They definitely do not know we’re married.”
Aqua’s mouth twitched.
“No.”
“They’re going to love that.”
“I did not say that.”
I rubbed my face.
“Your brother is going to kill me.”
“He will not.”
“That pause was too long.”
Aqua laughed.
A real one.
Soft.
Tired.
Beautiful.
My chest hurt.
“You want me to go?”
Her expression changed immediately.
“Steven.”
“I know I’m your husband.”
“Then why are you asking?”
“Because after this…”
I looked down.
“I don’t know.”
Aqua turned toward me.
“You are my husband before this.”
Her fingers tightened around mine.
“During this.”
My throat closed.
“And after this.”
I stared at her.
“I want you with me.”
The words landed somewhere Salizar had not reached.
Somewhere still mine.
“I don’t know if I’m ready to meet your family.”
“That is fair.”
“I don’t know if I’m ready to go anywhere.”
“That is also fair.”
She rested her head against my shoulder again.
“We are not leaving today.”
“Fredrick said no travel.”
“Exactly.”
“So technically, this is his fault.”
“Do not start.”
A weak smile pulled at my mouth.
Aqua’s did too.
We sat there until the light outside shifted.
Eventually Fang moved enough that I could use my legs again.
I did not clean the room.
That might have been the hardest thing I did all day.
Aqua made tea in another kettle.
I stared at it long enough that she quietly moved us away from the kitchen.
We ate something simple.
I barely tasted it.
Neither of us said much.
There were no more great revelations.
Thank goodness.
By the time the sky darkened, exhaustion had settled behind my eyes so heavily I could barely follow my own thoughts.
Aqua stood near the hallway.
“Bed?”
My stomach tightened.
She saw it.
Naturally.
The bedroom.
Salizar had slept there.
Beside her.
Wearing me.
I stared down the hall.
Aqua did not push.
“We can sleep somewhere else.”
I wanted to say yes.
Instead, I looked at her.
Then toward the bedroom again.
I hated that he had been there.
I hated the thought of surrendering another room to him.
“We can go.”
Aqua studied me.
“You’re sure?”
“No.”
Her mouth twitched.
“That was honest.”
“I’m learning.”
We went slowly.
Fang followed.
The bedroom looked exactly the same.
That was somehow worse.
The sheets.
The pillows.
A shirt I had thrown over the chair before any of this happened.
Ordinary things waiting for a version of me that had disappeared for several days.
I stopped in the doorway.
Aqua waited beside me.
Her hand brushed mine.
I flinched.
Barely.
But I did.
I hated myself for it immediately.
Aqua said nothing.
She simply left her hand near mine.
An invitation.
Not a demand.
I reached for it.
Her fingers closed around mine.
We changed quietly.
I kept my back turned more than necessary.
Not because Aqua had not seen me.
Because I did not want to see myself.
When we finally got into bed, I stayed on my side.
Aqua lay beside me.
Close.
Not touching.
Waiting.
I stared at the ceiling.
Five minutes passed.
Maybe ten.
My body was exhausted.
My brain refused to stop.
Lake.
Towel.
Kiss.
Dipsi.
Fang frozen by a command.
Salizar saying my name with my mouth.
Aqua’s palm against my cheek.
I know who is touching me now.
I turned my head.
Aqua was watching me.
“You’re awake.”
“So are you.”
“I was waiting.”
“For what?”
Her eyes softened.
“You.”
My throat tightened.
I looked down between us.
The small space felt enormous.
“Aqua?”
“Yes?”
I hated how difficult the question felt.
“Can you…”
I stopped.
Her expression stayed patient.
“Can you hold me?”
The words came out quieter than I wanted.
Aqua did not smile.
Did not tease.
Did not make the question heavier than it already was.
She opened her arms.
That was all.
I moved.
Carefully at first.
Then less carefully.
My head settled against her chest.
One arm wrapped around her waist.
Aqua’s arms came around me.
Warm.
Soft.
Familiar.
I breathed her in.
My body finally stopped feeling like something I had to monitor every second.
Not completely.
Enough.
Aqua’s fingers moved slowly through my hair.
I closed my eyes.
“This okay?” she whispered.
“Yes.”
My arm tightened around her.
“More than okay.”
Her chest moved beneath my cheek when she breathed.
I listened.
For a while, that was enough to keep the memories away.
Then Aqua whispered,
“I love you.”
My eyes burned.
“I love you too.”
The words hurt.
They also did not.
I did not know how both could be true.
Maybe that was going to be normal for a while.
I shifted closer.
Aqua’s arms tightened automatically.
The necklace stayed cold between us.
Fang settled somewhere near the foot of the bed.
Nothing moved inside my head.
Nothing pushed against the barrier.
No one else spoke through my mouth.
Just Aqua’s heartbeat.
Her breathing.
Her fingers in my hair.
I had spent days fighting to get my body back.
I was starting to understand that feeling like it belonged to me again might take longer.
That scared me.
But Aqua was holding me.
And this time, when I wanted to touch her, I was the one choosing to do it.
I let my hand rest against her waist.
Mine.
Her arms tightened around me.
Chosen.
I closed my eyes.
For tonight, that was enough.