Oze
“Let go, you idiot.”
“Idiot? I’m holding you back for your own good.”
We’d practically been wrestling for a while now.
From above, rhythmic music drifted down—uncertain whether to soothe me or make me anxious—and then Rhone suddenly panicked and dragged me back to the bridge.
“You mustn’t look at that.”
He was thinner than our Harvester, but absurdly strong.
We grappled for quite a while as I tried to force my way outside. I hadn’t done this since grade school.
It was even starting to feel a little fun.
“Oze-kun, you look like you’re enjoying yourself.”
“Big brother, hang in there—!”
The two I had killed were sitting in chairs, smiling as they watched.
They must have thought we were playing.
“That’s your emotion out there. Go look at the window. Promise me you won’t go outside. You always want to grab everything, and that worries me…”
I left Rhone babbling behind and ran to the window.
A square, white-glowing object floated there. Something seemed to be inside it, but the cube itself wasn’t very large, so I couldn’t see clearly.
“Ah, big brother’s inside the glass!”
Is that me? As I turned back, Mamoru was there, arms lifted in a begging-to-be-held pose. My reflex was to reach out in joy—but no.
I had no right to touch him. The memory came back, of what it felt like to kill him—.
Even so, I gave in to Mamoru’s lonely face—no, to my own weakness—and resolved to hold him. I picked him up and looked out the window with him.
I meant to call Kaori-san, who was still seated, but she was talking with Rhone as if they were old friends.
“Big brother, that hurts.”
I was squeezing him too tightly. At this rate, I’d end up killing Rhone too.
“Sorry. Still… it’s beautiful. Like some kind of stylish lighting. I want one.”
Tilting my head at an odd angle, I looked upward. The glass cubes drifted like the Milky Way itself.
I wanted to grab one and give it to Mamoru to carry like a lantern. The cool, pale light would suit Kaori-san as well, so I wanted two at least. If possible, one for myself too. A lantern with me inside—literally one of a kind, wouldn’t that be cool?
“You mustn’t.”
Rhone, who had been speaking with Kaori-san, admonished me.
“Oze-kun is filling the whole sky. They’re free, so don’t catch them—it would be cruel.”
Kaori-san looked delighted. It embarrassed me. Rhone had said those were my emotions, but where were my feelings flying at this moment? And what expression was the me inside the glass making?
Aochi and Oomi must be seeing this too.
Oomi was probably cowering again. Or maybe he wanted to catch one and smash it.
Until the swarm of glass cubes drifted away, I stared vacantly up at the sky.
“What time is it now?”
The thought came suddenly, and I asked no one in particular.
Rhone only pointed silently at the right wall.
It was the same lifeless metal plating I was used to, and on it hung a bland clock so ordinary it blended into the wall.
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“Almost ten, huh… What exact hour in the morning are we supposed to be transferred?”
This time I asked Rhone directly.
“When the sun has fully risen, more or less.”
“…What kind of vague time is that?”
“Can’t be helped. Gods don’t live by clocks.”
Again, those irritating rules. He obsesses over nonsense like ‘one person,’ yet can’t be bothered with time.
It felt wasteful to just stand around. I set Mamoru down and walked toward the Kaori-san.
She rose as well.
“I’m sorry, both of you…”
“It’s all right. If Oze-kun catches the bird, we’ll be saved too.”
I was about to draw them both into an embrace when suddenly the strange music cut off.
Startled, I lowered my outstretched arm and scanned the area in alarm.
“I have to go—I have to protect you.”
Rhone bolted for the bridge exit. What the hell was happening?
“You two wait here. I won’t let you die this time.”
Even the slowpoke Rhone moving so crisply—something serious was coming.
The moment I chased him outside, water slammed down on me.
Rain? No—seawater.
Pressure weighed from above, and I looked up. Floating barely ten meters overhead was a fish bigger than both our ships combined.
“A Napoleonfish…?”
Its scales, every one of them, were flowers of blue.
“A fish that devours memories.”
First birds that eat hearts, then birds that eat other birds—everything here was starving.
It was undeniably a fish. It looked exactly like the Napoleonfish I loved, except its body was covered in blue blossoms.
I didn’t know the flower’s name. They looked like hydrangeas, but the shape was a little different.
Seen up close, each bloom must have been huge. Clustered together, they made a shimmering gradient of blue that even the night couldn’t swallow.
“So that fish eats memories? Like a tapir eating dreams?”
“What’s a tapir? That thing usually drifts through the night, feeding on people’s unpleasant memories. You must have seen it before. You just forget upon waking.”
…I remembered nothing. So completely forgotten—that must be what he meant.
Then the fish twisted its body, and from above came the scent of spearmint.
Without thinking, I inhaled deep into my lungs.
“Oze-san!”
I thought I heard Oomi’s voice from far away.
“Hey, are you okay?”
And Aochi’s too. We had only been apart for hours, but they sounded nostalgic.
I turned toward the other ship. There they were. They’d been outside all along? From inside the bridge, I couldn’t see or hear them.
From starboard came Ululu and Silent-chan, hurrying over.
“You two forgive me as well?”
I forced the question out, and they answered with grave faces.
“There’s nothing to forgive… The one at fault was the god.”
“You’re being deceived by Rhone. Come back here, quickly.”
So they’d heard about the god too. But what did they mean, deceived by Rhone? I drew another breath of spearmint and said:
“I’ve heard as well. Let’s slip through the rules that god made, the three of us together.”
“Yes. They say god sets all kinds of traps for defiant humans. That one hundred thousand crystals earlier was one. And this memory-eating fish, it’s here to lead us astray. Geh—”
Oomi, straining his frail voice to shout, suddenly choked.
“Don’t overdo it. That fish just eats our bad memories, right? Then it’s not so dangerous. Anyway, I like Napoleonfish.”
As I said it, something soft and gentle fell on my face.
A blue petal.
I caught my breath and looked up.
The fish’s body was blooming.
From inside, fresh flowers welled up one after another, pushing off the old petals that fell away.
I’d seen cherry blossoms scatter countless times, but never blue ones. The petals were surprisingly small. Those made up the scales of that giant fish. It felt as though the heaviness in my heart was soaking into the blue petals, then flying off to sea.
Aochi and Oomi stood with eyes closed, letting the petals rain down on them. Silent-chan too. Only Ululu spun in circles, laughing, cupping handfuls of petals. Being newly born, maybe he had no bad memories to be drained away.
Petals piled on the deck, turning it into a blue stage.
I heard footsteps rustling through the flowers. When I turned, Kaori-san and Mamoru were standing there.
“Big brother, the flowers are pretty.”
“Blue Brunnera. Larger than the ones we know.”
Kaori-san spoke softly.
“The ones in that little park?”
Near my house—near her apartment too—there was a small park with just swings, bars, and a seesaw.
Yes, I’d seen them there. Yet I had forgotten until now. Had that park really existed? Or was it just some place made up in memory? I wasn’t sure.
“Yes. We saw them together, didn’t we? Have you forgotten?”
No way—I couldn’t believe I had forgotten.
I thought I remembered everything from back then. Her words, the way her lips moved when she spoke, her eye color—I was sure I remembered it all.
No, wait. I had forgotten killing her and Mamoru, hadn’t I? Aochi and Oomi didn’t know I was a murderer. That’s why they could so casually tell me to come back.
If they knew, maybe they would both come to kill me. What should I do… My mind spun.
Kaori-san stopped speaking to me and looked up at the Napoleonfish.
Blue suited her. Did I like blue because it suited her, or did she suit blue because I liked it? I didn’t know anymore.
In a floating daze, I locked eyes with the fish.
A moment ago, it had no eyes. Just a form moving. But now, from within the blue blossoms, a cold, sideways gaze peered at our ship.
No one else seemed to notice.
Where had the Harvesters gone? Weren’t they supposed to protect us?
“Everyone, get inside the ship! Hurry!”
As I shouted, the Napoleonfish turned its blossom-made body toward us.
It plunged straight down. I had to protect Kaori-san and Mamoru—
The moment I turned to them, Kaori-san was swallowed whole.
The fish’s gaping mouth devoured her in an instant.
—I was on my knees. Beneath the petals, the deck should have been cold, but I felt nothing.
Why… Why had I lost again? Because of me.
“Big brother…”
Only Mamoru, clinging to me, was warm. Was he crying? Since our reunion, this was the first time. No—he had never once cried before.
“Oze-san!”
Oomi’s loud voice reached me. Worried for me, maybe?
At this point, I just wanted to tell them the truth and be done with it.
“Oze-san, that wasn’t you. You didn’t kill her. It wasn’t your fault.”