Oze
My ears rang sharply, and the silver cabin warped before my eyes.
I killed Kaori-san and Mamoru...
I remember now—after pretending to forget for so long, the fantasy I’d built in my mind had somehow become my real past.
That late spring afternoon, I wasn’t bedridden because of a cold.I was trembling in fear.Fear of having killed again.
Again? That’s right. Kaori-san and Mamoru weren’t the first.
I’ve killed people before—for the same reason. I don’t remember who they were, not at all, but the reason I did it comes back with disturbing clarity.
—They got in the way.
Suddenly, I’d wanted to be alone. They felt like a burden, so I got rid of them.
Kaori-san, who always listened to me so patiently.Mamoru, who was so sweet and attached to me.
“…Oze-kun.”
Kaori-san sat up under the dim, bluish light and took a step toward me.
“I’m sorry—I was the one who…”
The words wouldn’t come. I was so scared, so sad, I couldn’t even back away.
“It’s alright. I don’t hold any grudge against you.”
As she said that, Mamoru jumped down from the bed.
Then, clinging to me where I stood frozen like a utility pole, he said:
“Big bro, let’s catch the bird together.”
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I nodded firmly, still standing in place—when a voice came from behind me.
“Oh… so you found out this early.”
Rhone stood in the corridor, looking just as sorrowful as I did.
“I really wanted to keep it hidden until the end.”
How long had he known?And what kind of feeling was that—to want to keep it hidden?
“Come on, the three of you. Let’s have dinner.”
♢♢
I still don’t understand how I managed to walk to the cafeteria.
Rhone had gently pushed me along the whole way. Even sitting in a chair now, I couldn’t feel anything under me—just numbness.
“How long are you going to stay silent?Kaori-san and Mamoru-kun are getting worried, you know.”
Even so, I couldn’t lift my head.I’d killed the people I loved, forgotten about it, and now here I was, sharing a table with them after they’d come back as the dead.Who else in the world has ever gone through something like this—?
“There are plenty of people like you.”
That has to be a lie…I wasn’t even shocked that he could read my mind.What stunned me was the idea that people like me were common.
“Surprised? I’ve traveled for a long, long time. I’ve had my share of both the dead and the killers aboard my ships. It’s quite normal for the murdered and the murderer to ride together on a ship headed for the same home.”
“…Really?”
The voice that escaped me as I stared at the mirror-like floor was so hoarse I almost didn’t recognize it.
Now that I think about it, I still hadn’t apologized. I had to summon the courage to look up.
“I’m so sorry—for ever thinking you were a burden…”
My voice trembled, but Kaori-san answered with the same smile she used to wear long ago.
“I forgave you ages ago. I really did want to keep living, though.”
“Me too. I wanted to stay with you longer, big bro.”
Their words made me lean forward, arms on the table, burying my face in my hands.
Even after I killed them… they still said things like that?
“Well then, we’ve made up now.”
Rhone stood up on his own, as if to neatly wrap things up.
“Hey, where are you going?”
Don’t leave me alone.No—don’t leave me with just Kaori-san and Mamoru.This isn’t some old prank that got found out. I killed them.
“I’m bringing out the food. I’m hungry too, you know.”
He can read my mind—this had to be on purpose. Still, he turned on his heel and headed toward the kitchen.
—What am I supposed to do now?
“There’s Nonno outside!”
Mamoru suddenly leapt up and rushed to the window.
“Hey, that’s dangerous.”
Even as I said it, I couldn’t help thinking I was the most dangerous one here…And deep down, I silently thanked Mamoru for breaking the tension.
Kaori-san was already on her feet, following him. I liked that about her—how she always acted without saying too much.
Watching their backs, I finally lifted my heavy body from the chair, as if made of lead.
Only Rhone’s voice echoed through the cold ship like a piano note.