The Doll stared at the scene of Cecilia standing over the body of the person who had nearly killed The Doll twice in such a short time. Bringing her hands up to her face, The Doll saw that they were shaking uncontrollably. Clenching her fists in an attempt to quell the shaking in her hands The Doll couldn't help but wonder why her body was reacting like this.
It could be caused by the fact that The Doll had just witnessed a person die. Throughout her childhood The Doll had witnessed death plenty of times, be it from execution under Gelun’s harsh laws or combat in duels. The Doll should be used for the grisly scene by this point. Yet despite this fact The Doll never could get used to seeing death. Watching a person's life fade away was something that never became easy.
But The Doll could keep her composure around death; that was something Father made sure of when The Doll still had her magic. No, The Doll knew that she wasn't simply shaken up by seeing someone die. The truth was something else, something The Doll didn't want to admit to herself.
Bringing her fist to her forehead The Doll took a deep breath and told herself.
Repress.
Ignore.
Move.
This seemed to cause the shaking in The Doll’s hands to subside as she looked up, ready to see how Cecilia would deal with this situation. The Doll knew there was little chance Cecilia would try to kill both of them, or even one of them, to protect her identity as a pillar from Lukaz; the mess that would cause would likely be too much for her to ask the crown to clean up. It was far more likely she would try to play this situation off to Lukaz with a lie. A lie that The Doll would likely have to support should she wish to remain tolerable with Cecilia.
Before The Doll could think of this any further, Lukaz ran over to her, relief plastered on his face as he leaned down and embraced her, causing The Doll to tense up as he said, “You're alive. I was so worried, and I did everything I could to keep you alive while I took care of that scum, but you were stabbed through the heart…” Lukaz quickly pulled away and looked down at The Doll’s chest; his eyes widened in surprise. “I thought I'd been hallucinating when I saw you sever the scum's arm, but… what are those?” It was clear Lukaz was referring to the strings that now lay over her heart.
The Doll froze up upon hearing this question, unsure how much she should or even could tell Lukaz. Lukaz wasn't like Malina or Lila; he was close with Father, and if news of what was happening to The Doll got back to Father, she found it unlikely he would allow her to continue here at Dreadwood. Even if The Doll did decide she could trust Lukaz not to inform Father, Cecilia was present, and The Doll didn't want Cecilia to know more than she should.
Saving The Doll from having to answer, Cecilia spoke up, “It's a rune I gave Lady Ashencroft that was designed to stitch any wound, assuming it was both close enough to the wound and she activated it before losing too much blood. She is my friend; I wouldn't want her to die.” Cecilia kept her voice warm and friendly as if she weren't saying a bold-faced lie.
The Doll wasn't sure why Cecilia didn't take the chance to gain more information from The Doll indirectly, but she moved quickly to support it. “Ye—yes, I had it, um, underneath my uniform and pressed it before losing consciousness, s-so it took the form of these stitches on my chest and saved my life.” The Doll nodded as she said this, unsure why she was unable to keep her voice steady while saying the lie.
When it came to lying The Doll was never unsure of herself she could always keep her voice steady unless she was in the presence of Father. Yet now The Doll couldn't even manage to support something already established without her voice shaking.
What was wrong with The Doll?
Lukaz narrowed his eyebrows at this claim, which was clearly suspicious because of The Doll’s stutter, and he said, “I do appreciate you greatly for saving my fiancée's life.” Lukaz stood up and tilted his head slightly to Cecilia before asking, “But why did you feel the need to give her such a powerful rune, and how did she know to put it near her chest?” The perfectly reasonable question was one The Doll found herself unable to think of an answer to.
Recognizing The Dolls inability to speak, Cecilia said, “The two of us believed that someone unknown had hired somebody to attempt to kill Lady Ashencroft tonight. But we weren't sure, so I sent her outside alone with the run to confirm our suspicion.” The Doll could only nod along as Cecilia said this.
Upon hearing this, Lukaz lurched forward and grabbed Cecilia by the collar of her uniform, nearly lifting her off the ground. “WHY WOULD YOU RISK HER LIFE LIKE THAT!” Lukaz shouted, shaking Cecilia as he said this.
Cecilia's eyes widened in fear that The Doll could immediately detect was artificial as she shot her eyes over to The Doll. Actually fearing for what Cecilia may do provided The Doll said nothing; she spoke up, “Lukaz, ca-calm down; we weren't even sure, and um, we planned that on the off chance we were right it would be better to fake my death as opposed to having an assassin follow me.” The Doll found herself stuttering once again as she spoke.
This explanation seemed to do little to placate Lukaz, who only lowered Cecilia slightly. “Still, the two of you should have informed one of the teachers of the headmaster! My fiancee can't have her life put on the line like that. You didn't even know if they would go for her heart.” Lukaz snarled his anger directed at Cecilia despite The Doll being partially responsible, according to this lie.
Cecilia’s eyes perked up slightly as Lukaz said this. “Well, first off, we weren't sure, and causing a ruckus for no reason would mean that Lord Ashencroft would have to be informed, and Lady Ashencroft was opposed to this.” Cecilia looked to The Doll after saying this, who just nodded along. “Secondly, we had ample reason to believe the attacker would go for the heart.” Cecilia said, not elaborating further on why they would have had ample reason to believe this; instead, she chose to switch the subject and ask, “But why would you believe Lady Ashencroft can’t protect herself? She is a major noble after all.” Lukaz dropped Cecilia completely when she asked this.
This tale has been pilfered from Royal Road. If found on Amazon, kindly file a report.
Nervously running his hands through his hair, Lukaz attempted to coolly say, “I suppose you’re right; it's just natural for me to worry about the well-being of my wife to be.” Lukaz’s voice still seemed slightly suspicious, but he ultimately properly bowed to Cecilia, an action that shocked The Doll. “Rather than questioning you, I should be thanking you for saving her life. So sincerely I thank you from the bottom of my heart; the Zephyr family is indebted to you.” After finishing his thanks, Lukaz awkwardly stood up, evidently not used to bowing to anyone below him in social standing.
In response to Lukaz’s bow, Cecilia performed a fancy curtsy laced with appreciation The Doll knew to be false as she said, “It's really nothing, Lady Ashencroft and I are friends, and I would never wish to see any harm befall her.” Cecilia once again laced her voice perfectly with false warmness that would have fooled The Doll had she not known it was a lie.
After having finished with Cecilia, Lukaz turned around and offered a hand to The Doll in order to help her up. “Well, we should go inform the headmaster and visit the healer.” Lukaz said, causing The Doll to freeze up.
The last person whom she wanted to inform of these new strings on her chest was the headmaster. Outside of The Doll’s distrust for the headmaster, there was what happened in his office two days earlier, a scene that was still drilled into The Doll's mind. After what happened in his office when he saw the strings on her wrist The Doll shuddered to think what he may try upon finding out about these strings. The Doll figured that this would practically confirm to the headmaster that harming her could bring about the metamorphosis he so yearned to see.
Images of The Strings in that dark void flashed throughout The Doll’s mind with all the injuries that it bore on her behalf. All the injuries that lay across The Doll’s body and subsequently caused The Strings such harm.
Entertaining the idea that harming The Doll could bring about some form of power. It was something that The Doll found herself not wanting to do any further, even if it was her only choice.
The thought of it incited a feeling in The Doll that she didn't wish to acknowledge.
With her voice still shaky The Doll said, “N-no, I don't believe we should inform the headmaster.” This caused a curious glance from Lukaz, who didn't get to speak before The Doll continued with a slightly more steady voice, “If we tell him, then he will have to tell Father, and I don't believe Father would be pleased to keep me at an academy where my life was at risk.” The Doll hoped her flawed reasoning might be able to convince Lukaz.
To The Doll’s dismay, Lukaz shook his head and said, “Perhaps it's best you no longer attend Dreadwood.” Lukaz then paused and motioned to the dead body a few feet away. “I mean first the princess who lies attached at your hip, then the duel with Darius who uses some unheard-of magic, and now somebody has even tried to kill you!” Lukaz said before taking a deep breath and calmly saying, “Being here, it clearly isn't safe, and I can't– I just can't risk your life.” Lukaz turned his gaze downward as he said this last part.
There it was again.
Another moment where The Doll should feel something for Lukaz, just like back at the duel when he had risked his life for her. Or even a few minutes earlier when he had fought off her attacker. Lukaz kept doing nothing but show her genuine affection that didn't fit her preconceived notions of how Lukaz was and how she had viewed him for years, yet The Doll found herself unable to feel what it was that she should feel for him.
The Doll knew she should reach out and comfort him in this moment perhaps even embrace him and play the role of the fiancée she was, but The Doll simply couldn't. Instead, she looked mirroring Lukaz’s downward look staring at her own feet, unable to understand why she couldn't return his feelings.
While The Doll stared at her own feet, images of Malina flashed throughout her head, making her realize one thing. Why did it seem so easy for these strange feelings to rise up around her despite the way she treated her?
Pushing this inability to understand her own feelings aside The Doll focused on what was most important and what she did know. The Doll knew that she didn't want to tell the headmaster about this encounter. The Doll simply couldn't bring herself to bear the thought of whatever he may do upon finding out.
To her side The Doll heard Cecilia speak up, “I also believe it's best that we dont inform the headmaster.” Cecilia shifted her gaze at The Doll and said, “I mean, it is what Lady Ashencrfot wants after all, and it's her education.” As Cecilia said this last part, she narrowed her gaze at The Doll as if signaling for her to say something.
Lukaz reacted first by replying to Cecilia, “I know what my fiancee wants, and I also know what's best for her. Being at this backwater academy has only brought far more trouble than its worth.” Lukaz then looked up from the ground and extended his hand further out to The Doll, “You know I'm right, dear; now please just take my hand.” The Doll flinched involuntarily as Lukaz said this.
Logically The Doll knew that Lukaz was right; there wasn't much argument The Doll could make for staying at Dreadwood beyond her own desire. But she couldn't simply allow Lukaz to inform the headmaster about this encounter ever. The Doll needed to find the right answer that would convince Lukaz.
But what if The Doll already had the right answer?
Earlier, Lukaz had seemed insecure about his relationship with The Doll thinking that she may not love him back. The Doll could use this worry of Lukaz’s. She could act as though she felt the same way he did just for a moment. Long enough to convince him to not tell the headmaster simply because she didn't wish for the headmaster to know.
It was something so easy to understand; even Cecilia had tried pointing it out to The Doll earlier. But could she truly bring herself to manipulate Lukaz like that to give one of the few people who cared for her false hope because of her own desires?
The Doll had done similar things with Malina before in order to calm her down or stop one of her tantrums.
Would doing it to Lukaz really be so different?
Steeling her gaze, The Doll looked up and put her hand hesitantly on Lukaz’s own feeling sick to her stomach as she made the action. Slowly The Doll began softly saying in a voice that mimicked the one she had used with Malina, yet for some reason felt wrong now. “But I don't want to leave Dreadwood.” The Doll felt guilty as she did this, knowing full well what she was doing. “Please don't make me leave yet.” The Doll was well aware that she was attempting to manipulate the person who showed such affection to her and knew that it was an awful thing to do.
But this was the right answer.
It simply had to be the right answer.
The Doll truly was deplorable.