The group just decided to spend the night in the forest and sleep in the car. It was safer than finding a hotel to spend the night in. All the danger and excitement had left the sisters exhausted and ready for sleep. They drifted off the moment that the sun went down. Lisa herself felt far too restless to relax. While the girls slept soundly in the backseat, she climbed out of the car and began pacing around it in circles. Jorden was already outside, doing the same thing. He looked up and smiled at Lisa.
“Let me guess, you can’t sleep,” he said.
“Nope. I feel really jittery. Hopefully walking will help me get rid of the jitters,” said Lisa. Jorden laughed.
“Welcome to my world. I don’t need to almost die to have trouble sleeping.”
“Maybe you’re just meant to be nocturnal.”
“I am. Before we found the humans, Formas were nocturnal. We copied the humans.”
“Really? I-I had no idea,” Lisa sighed. “I guess that’s just another thing we stole from the humans.”
“You didn’t steal anything, Lisa,” Jorden pointed out.
“But I’m a part of the group that stole everything. We took their very identity and made it our own. Then we turned around and treated humans like animals.”
“What you are saying is true, historically speaking. But you aren’t guilty of these crimes as an individual.”
“What if I am? What if I’ve just been willfully ignorant? You tried to explain things to me before. I didn’t listen. I should have. I’m sorry, Jorden.” Jorden let out a soft sigh.
“Not everything is your responsibility. You can’t fix everything. You should do your part to make things better. But at the end of the day, you can’t control how things turn out,” he said. Lisa knew that he was right. These were the things that she told herself all the time. But sometimes, the truth didn’t feel like the truth unless it was coming from someone else. Jorden didn’t ever seem to feel guilty for being a Forma. If he did feel guilt, he was very good at hiding it. Lisa glanced back at the car. She could make out the outline of the two sleeping faces. The sisters were curled up in a corner, tucked under a blanket. Their faces looked so at peace whenever they slept. A smile touched Lisa’s lips. Yet pain filled her heart. They didn’t deserve this. No one deserved this. Why did the world have to be such a cruel place?
“The world has always been a dark place, Lisa,” Jorden whispered. He was following her gaze. Lisa frowned.
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“Stop that. You’re freaking me out. You keep reading my mind,” she laughed.
“I’m not reading your mind!” Jorden was laughing too now. “You have all your thoughts and feelings plastered all over your face all the time!” Did she? That was something to work on. That also explained why Riley also seemed to know what she was thinking. Lisa noticed Sally stir.
“Shh, we should keep it down,” she said gently. “Look at them. They look so happy. I wonder what they’re dreaming about. They’re little troopers, aren’t they?” Lisa asked.
“They sure are. I’m sure they’ve been through a lot. At least they have each other. They also have you.”
“I hope I can provide them with some comfort after all that they’ve been through. It seems like wherever I go, I find enemies on both sides. I guess it makes sense. They’re half Forma. Neither side wants to accept them. War is coming. I can feel it,” Lisa whispered. “The Formas and the humans will just take turns pounding each other into the ground. There won’t be any compassion or mercy. Just blood and rage. Even when one side gives in, the other won’t let them surrender. Nobody wants to see their enemies surrender; they just want to see them suffer.” Lisa remembered the looks of hatred and scorn she had seen at the sanctuary.
“We don’t know for sure that there will be a war,” Jorden’s tone sounded softer and more serious than it usually did. “You can’t talk like that.” Lisa felt his hand on her shoulder. She wanted his words to comfort her. But Jorden hadn’t seen what she had seen. He hadn’t seen people turning into savage monsters on the battlefield. He didn’t know what it felt like to have dozens of agonized souls who relied on you for survival. He had never had to remove arms and legs as dying soldiers begged her not to.
“Right.” That was the only response Lisa could think of. “I know that. I-I just don’t want my girls to have to suffer through more.” She turned back to the car. “I think I’ll try sleeping again.”
“Good idea,” said Jorden.
“You should get some rest too. I don’t care if you’re nocturnal. You still need your sleep,” said Lisa.
“Alright, if you insist, I’ll try to sleep.” A frown crossed Jorden’s face. “Are you sure that you’re alright?”
“I’m sure. I only lost a little bit of blood. Trust me, it looked much scarier than it was. Now go get some sleep.”
Sally opened her eyes and sat up as Lisa and Jorden climbed back into the car. She slid over to Lisa and rested her little head on Lisa’s shoulder. Poor Sally, she must be very confused. Lisa didn’t know how to explain the whole shifting thing to her. But Sally might have figured it out herself. Riley sat bolt upright the instant that Sally moved. Fear crossed Riley’s face. But it faded away as quickly as it had come. Lisa savored the looks on their faces. They were happy and trusting, with eyes that glowed with affection. That was the way Lisa had wanted her own parents to look at her.
They never had. She had never looked at her parents that way either. Because even as a child, Lisa had known the truth. She couldn’t rely on them. She didn’t mean as much to them as their work did. Out of the corner of her eye, Lisa could also see Jorden smiling at her. These were people who loved her. These were people she could love without fear. Lisa took hold of the sisters and pulled them into a tight hug. These were her people. It didn’t matter if they were Formas or human. These were her people, and she wasn’t going to let them down.