I shook my head upwards, realising I had once again woken up to the darkness. As if I still felt the burn in my eyes, I rubbed them with tears seeping through the gaps. Not tears from crying, but my body remembering the tragedy that befell my vision.
I know, I had died numerous times thus far, but no one could ever get used to the sensation of death.
“Avante, time.”
“3:01AM.”
Huh. That’s odd, I thought the rewind time was forty minutes. Then maybe that increases the probability that my so-called reset points are tagged to areas. Or perhaps they’re tagged to events.
But that changed things, I couldn’t calculate things based on time. But there was now an issue. I remembered the memory from just a minute ago of those blackened, bleeding eyes with its red pupils. Something was out there.
It didn’t look human. That thing looked like a monster in human form. Those eyes, those eyes. There was no hiding this one. That thing was bad news.
And what did you mean I wasn’t supposed to be here?
I didn’t dwell on the thought too much. It made no sense, I mean to be fair, I was in the middle of nowhere at 4AM, so in some instances, the man was right.
Something was out there, lurking in the forest. And it seemed like they would make their move at 4AM.
But I stopped myself, realising I was jumping to conclusions. Because in truth, whoever that was, didn’t attack these carriages, they attacked me. And I thought it was weird before, why two royal members of the family didn't have some huge escort toward the city, but apparently it was better to roll around the lands more quietly, instead of gaining attention. It was also done because apparently when certain members of the royal family left certain cities, openings were left. Left for whom? Left for what? I did not know.
But whatever lurked in the trees, didn’t seem to be targeting the royal family. It seemed I had just coincidentally bumped into some society or whatever, hiding deep in the woods and in all honesty, I didn’t want to see them again. Fuck!
My plan was butchered. I knew exactly what time Zidane would switch over with Rumena, but now, what was the point if when I jumped out, I would be killed? And I was not going to jump out aimlessly again. The way that man killed me, it was sadistic. He enjoyed watching me suffer and that was not an experience I wanted to go through again.
Fuck fuck fuck. What’s the next move?
It seemed, I would genuinely have to wait till the morning and think of a new plan of escape. For now, it was safer here.
But I didn’t go to sleep.
I couldn’t go to sleep.
The echoing fear shook my core, taping my eyelids open. I couldn’t shut them for even a moment. I didn’t even want to blink. Something was out there.
Even if it wasn’t out for these carriages, it was out there regardless and I couldn’t just afford to go to sleep while the night was still young. I had to keep a lookout and for once, I couldn’t be happier Zidane was sitting atop the carriage, staring out. But even that, couldn’t ease my trancing nerves. The door from which I leapt out was facing the side of the forest and so I quietly pulled the door open inwards. I looked outside, facing the dark forest trying to focus in on any movement, but found nothing. As I peered into the bottomless forest of darkness, I felt a hole carve itself in my stomach. How many times was this world going to test my fearlessness? I was no one here, no fantasy knight that fought against monsters every day. I was a regular human, thrown into a world where slashing out someone’s eyes was normal.
And there was no way I was going to tell them I could loop time.
That was too much of a dangerous move.
This was an ability that I had to keep hidden to myself or else someone strong and smart enough would just lock me away, feeding me endlessly to keep me alive and prevent me from looping. And in this world, nothing was impossible. This was a secret that I would hold to myself to prevent anything like that.
I stood by the door, watching the darkness as we travelled by.
Ten, fifteen, thirty minutes had passed.
Nothing.
Then another thirty minutes. Nothing.
Until I watched from the corner of my eye, Zidane knocking on the roof of the carriage, and swinging inside to call Rumena out. That means it was 4:01AM. I ignored what was going on beside me, and focused hard into the trees and into the pitch black canvas behind.
They were there.
I knew it.
I could feel it.
All my nerves told me, something was in there right now.
I heard the boots of Rumena stamp onto the top of the carriage as she sat atop with her arm resting on one knee, looking up to the sky. Her axe, attached to her back and small daggers plotted around her waist.
4:02AM.
Nothing.
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4:03AM.
Nothing.
4:10AM
Nothing.
4:14AM.
Nothing.
Was I worried for no reason? Maybe it truly was that I had been in the wrong place at the wrong time. Fifteen minutes had passed and it had been completely peaceful. Rumena didn’t seem to notice anything ei-
“Aaaaayyaaghhhhhghghghghgh!!!!!” Rumena’s screech destroyed the peaceful atmosphere, instantly springing it into chaos as Laura sprung out of bed with a broken look. I swung the door back open, sticking out my head as I observed my right.
It was disgusting.
Like she had been crucified.
One, long spear, with small and curved edges that would tear one’s insides as it pierced them, went right through and out her back like a needle in a thread. Needless to say, how much blood had splattered out as I watched the life in her eyes slowly drain away. Her gargling mouth, drooping out blood as she suffocated on her own struggling breaths. She fell to her side, rolling off the moving carriages as the ground Dragon suddenly sprung out of control.
Fuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuck this. So they are after the royal family. Fuck this family. Fuck this family. I’ve had enough. Fuck all of you.
I leapt out through the front door, ignoring my surroundings, not knowing if Nora and Sylvia had even sprung into action. I didn’t care if I was going to break my bones, whether I would end up with scars, I was going to escape this wretched family. I rolled, tumbled in a much more aggressive manner than my last, scraping my face along the burning grass. But I didn’t feel much, the adrenaline pulsated through my veins, pushing me to run forward. I held onto my arm, realising it may have dislocated, as I ran weakly.
The last thing I heard was Zidane springing into action, with a lightning bolt protruding from his feet. How great of him.
More and more, this world had taught me over and over, that I did not belong here. People like Zidane, who face death, looking at it in their eyes, belonged here.
Not me. Not me, not fucking me.
I ran and ran and ran, gritting my teeth, trying not to look back, but leaving my back open, left me with no choice but to look. Zidane was nowhere to be seen.
Shit, shit shit.
The ground dragon had been slain evidently as it lay on its side with the rider's body, butchered in half scattered across the grass. Rumena’s body lay lifeless just behind the carriage.
Nora!
I saw those eyes again, and even from this distance I couldn’t mistake the feeling I had felt before them. The man, wearing a long white robe, leapt into the carriage where Nora and her sister remained.
This was it. This was my chance. This was my fucking emergency.
From a distance, I aimed my gun carefully, trying to steady my breaths and without hesitation, I sent a ripping bullet right to the wheel of the carriage. In a burst of flames, the carriage erupted with a booming sound that sent shockwaves in its radius. And for a small moment, dozens of images flashed through my head. And not one of them was different.
They were all of Nora.
Her standing, preaching to me in the floating library.
Her welcoming me to the mansion.
Her standing before me in the tower.
And her alluring eyes, the first day I had ever seen her as she saved me from the clutches of Angel.
This one hit me in a different way. Like a hammer, it shattered my adrenaline as I felt a pang of pain disperse through my limbs.
This was the first time I had killed someone I knew. Someone I shared memories with. I had just taken her life in a blaze of fire. I had done that.
Someone I had lived with, breathed with, spoken with. Albeit only a few days, but I had shared moments with her no matter how despising they were. I had killed someone I knew.
I bit my lip as I held my arm and after throwing away my needless emotion, I turned and ran as far as I could while panting like a dog.
I had finally escaped.
I had finally gotten away from that problematic family.
Finally.
No.
I had already said before.
This world was not for me.
I watched the tip of an arrow emerge from the front of my stomach, dragging me along with it just by its sheer force. Falling to the floor, I pulled myself forward on pure instinct. My blood stained the grass, creating a dead man’s trail showing the world my final struggle. I knew it was over. I knew I would die again. But why? Why? FucckigngkfjbhbsdffasdkfdsbhdmnmcddcvjadshjbafdlfvbshJKFFKFEWGKFLKGJSDBJADFHDSFJV
WHY?
WHYWHYWHYWHYWHYWHY!?
WHYWHYWHYWHY?!
WHY?!
WHY!?
DID NOT THEY NOT WANT THE ROYAL FAMILY? WHY TARGET ME? I HAVE NO MYLAN, IN FACT I ABANDONED THE PRINCESSES WITH NO LOYALTY OR SECOND THOUGHT. SO THEN WHY? I WATCHED THEM BLOWN TO BITS! I WATCHED THEM BURN INSIDE THE CARRIAGE.
SO WHY?! WHY? WHY!? WHY!?
My muscles moved on instinct, dragging me along the floor even though my mind knew it was over and so I forced myself to turn over to my side. This time, I wanted to see my assailant. I wanted to look at the individual who was locking me in this endless cycle of deaths. I was not going to let this go.
I didn’t give a shit how scared I was. I didn’t care how many times I may even piss just by thinking of these deaths. I did not care.
This figure threatened my freedom. And if I did not escape this, my fate would be suffering hell in this cycle, dying every time to this man. I wanted to see his face.
Pain? I endure it. Fear? I resist it. Perseverance? I welcome it.
I listened to the slow footsteps of a predator walking toward me, the injured prey. Coughing out blood, I slowly watched him enter my frame.
A long white robe, matching his luscious white hair, fluttering in the calm winds. How ironic. In this field of fire and violence, there stood this towering man, with his glowing white hair dancing under the moon. He looked down at me with striking eyes, blacked like a tattoo with a cursed red, glowing as they looked down at me.
“You are not-”
“Supposed to be here?” I cut in, choking on my own blood leaping out of my twitching mouth. I looked up at the man, locking eyes with him no matter how much fear consumed me. I was going to do it. I was going to fucking get out of here alive. I was not going to have my freedom taken away by this being. Not ever. No matter what.
The pain ate my insides from within, and with all my might and confidence, I smiled while keeping my eyes transfixed on his black holes. The situation was dire. But I couldn’t be defeated by this. And to hide it all, I showed this monstrous being a smile while choking on blood.
How ridiculous was that? One week ago I would have been scared shitless by this monster. And I still was, but at least I showed some grit. Because this time the probability had increased once more. And this time, I was going to bet on it.
Bet on my life that I would respawn in this disgusting world.
And with that.
I died.