I sat in a relatively spacious carriage, cushioned with red seats all around, and a place to sleep. In a sense, it was like a caravan in medieval times and here I was, sitting in the middle of two princesses.
Sylvia Van Fucking Vollaria and Nora Van Fucking Vollaria.
But I had made the preparations for this journey. In the midst of night with the moon peering over the clouds and Hexulus glowing purple, our carriage slowly traversed through the grasslands. I was ready. I was ready to escape this twisted royal family.
The same day Nora had taken me to the floating library, unable to do anything and locked by her words, I complied with her. With her arm, she directed the cube toward a balcony of the palace where we both got off.
Fucking. GREAT! Not ONE thing in this world goes right. Not ONE.
It was the same with everything. The moment I finally found a job, a friend and a gun. Dead.
He’s dead, I’m dead, everyone's dead. Then guess what? I find a potential human and then. Dead. Then I plan to get close to the royal family because for once I decided to stop being passive, and then it turns out she knows nothing and is dragged by some ridiculous ideological conquest. And now I can’t leave.
I did everything right, and got the wrong results.
Everything I did just worked but there was always that one unknown variable hindering it all. Nonetheless, I sat here now and there was no leaving. I had fallen too deep into the rabbit hole and now his foolish princess had told me her plan. I didn’t let the stress at me go away, for if I did, that would bring the moment of my demise.
Humans made the worst decisions in their moments of emotion and I didn’t allow myself to be a victim to that. For unneeded emotions like that were merely a hindrance to one’s logical thinking, presenting you possibly the least favourable solution rooting from despair. I had adopted this mindset for a while, no matter the misfortune, the problem that was brought before me, the best solution was to ignore what had been spilled, and focus on the future. For dwelling over what could have been done, or what was missed, would just welcome the unfavourable. The ability to adapt, forget, and look forward was a feature that only those who stood at the top shared. No human was emotionless, they all felt something. But the ones who really got what they wanted were not just the ones who perceived with determination and grit no. They were those with the ability to break themselves down, and analyse their shortcomings and suppress unneeded feelings in the moment.
Humans all felt guilt, sadness, anger, but some pushed it to the back of their mind to focus on the now instead of crying over what could not be changed. The situation I was in now, felt dire but if I succumbed to stress or anguish, I could possibly make a mistake that would lead to my demise. Was there any point in crying about it? Was there any point in going mad? No. For the one human will that carried my people for thousands of years was the ability to let go, and push forward.
I walked behind the woman in black, with her braids swaying on every step. It reminded me of a tainted memory, when I had been invited to Buckingham palace to be knighted. Unfortunately, that time never came and I never got to walk through the walls of the palace.
But here I was, walking through another. Fate really was a funny, stupid concept.
“Do you admire the palace?” She asked, slightly looking over her shoulder.
“It is magnificent,” I responded, looking all around me. Tall white walls that looked like they were three storeys alone, massive white columns holding up the great structure and flags hanging down low. All while we walked atop the purple carpet. It was an odd design but the one thing I realised was that everything in here seemed to match Nora’s design and essential theme. Was it a coincidence?
“I noticed that all the flag colors and carpets match your dress,” I said.
“I have many dresses, but this is the one I mainly wear when presenting myself to the people. And it is my favourite too,” her voice echoed through the hallway while we walked past guards stationed in their posts. Standing so still, they seemed like they were statues, each wearing a metal helmet covering their face and only letting their eyes glare through.
“So it’s just a coincidence huh,” I said quietly.
“No. This palace is home to Eighteen Royals. So my brothers and sisters live here and due to the palace’s vast size, we each have different sections which we govern.”
How ridiculous is that? This whole section is hers. This looks like it could house hundreds.
“So due to this being my domain, I choose the general design. I am a woman who loves art after all,” she said with a hint of pride.
It was a long walk, ridiculously long. It just gave me an even greater understanding of how huge this place was, and every few moments, we would walk past stationed guards diminishing my idea of escape further. I felt even more confined now. I wasn’t sure what this woman would do if I tried to escape.
She may be compassionate in some of her actions but the way she spoke, it was as if I knew too much now and there was no turning back. This was an issue. I was essentially being inactively held captive. I brushed the thought knowing there was no point in attempting an escape with a half baked plan. There were way too many unknown variables sitting on this table with Nora being the biggest one. It seemed obvious that she wanted to use me in some way and it seemed she confirmed one of my fears. She had realised for some time now, that I had the ability to create weapons and now this very woman with a dream of conquest had found me.
Great.
Of course she wouldn’t want to let me go. I could possibly be her number one asset to provide and build unseen weapons.
Yeah, that confirms it. She’s indirectly holding me hostage. I need to escape when a chance presents itself.
But here was the scary part, if I wanted to escape, I couldn’t just do that part. I had to think about the next. If I escaped, I was presented with a few possibilities; Nora would fear I would reveal her plans and ideals to the people of the nation and hunt me down with her own force, or she would use her power to have a countrywide manhunt, possibly deeming me a dangerous criminal while spreading my name and face. So what was the solution to that?
Frame my own death.
Somehow.
My thinking was dropped when Nora came to a halt, standing before a large wooden door. Looking my way, she pushed it open and so I stepped in, following her through.
“Your Highness, where have you been? I don't know why you didn’t let me assist you in confronting a potential crimina-” The man’s voice paused as his gaze looked onto me. And I could recognise that look from anywhere. The Knight that attempted to protect Nora from the assassinaton. Long blue hair, tied back and a sharp jaw with eyes built for hunting. He was tall, slightly taller than me with a much stronger build that evidently showed through his clothes.
“Who’s this?” A woman's voice came from the right side of the room as I stood awkwardly. I looked over at the brown skinned woman with an eager smile as she looked at me from the corner of her eye.
“Is this him your Highness? The man you mentioned?” A woman with blonde hair and a welcoming smile, wearing a black maids outfit looked at me with warm eyes.
As I heard their voices one by one, Nora sat down in the middle of it all. One big, polished brown desk with pens and pages organised neatly.
She always had that same penetrating gaze whenever she looked at me.
“This man will be joining us from today, under my order.”
Part Two
The brown skinned woman laughed as she flicked her black hair hanging from her face. The man’s glare fell onto me as I stood there not knowing what to do. This woman is really pissing me off. What does she expect me to do now?
The blue haired man walked over to me, slightly looking down with his hands behind his back.
“My name is Zidane Albetros. And your name is?”
Stepping back, pulling away from his annoying presence taking up my space, I responded in full, “Axure Saint Avante.”
The man let out a little laugh under his breath, taking out his hand. “I commend you for your brave actions that Her Highness had mentioned to me.”
I took my hand out to give him a firm handshake, but his grip was far tighter as I felt his rough skin sand mine down.
“She had mentioned it to you already?” I asked.
“Well, after you had been arrested, the palace was notified and my Lady, being her Majesty, went to investigate straight away and found out what had happened. However, I was worried because you were still a potential criminal being investigated of murder, but it seemed I was worried for nought.” He showed me a smile, finally giving me some sort of relaxation in this tense room with its massive personas.
Nora spoke up, “Axure, I remember you from the other day. How are you holding up ever since your acquaintance passed away? Sorry, I am only asking because I don’t want you to feel unwelcome.”
I laughed in my head.
Unwelcome? I am unwelcomed. I’m here against my fucking will.
“I’m getting along fine, he was a good friend of mine I had gotten to know over the past week. It’s unfortunate what happened, but I have to move on,” I said, holding off from releasing my inner thoughts.
“I’m glad you have that mindset,” she replied.
“Well, your majesty, you summoned us here,” the brown woman spoke as Zidane turned to look at Nora, “What is it for?”
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I feel tired.
“Sorry I had taken so long, but I had to go to the Yves Tower to collect him,” she replied. Ignoring the conversation for a brief moment, I couldn’t help but look past her, outside of the huge window behind. The silhouette of the city in all its beauty with the orange sun dipping into the horizon while the dark clouds clawed their fingers to it. How long had it been since I had gotten to just sit quietly and enjoy scenery like this?
I remembered Old Man Jay’s face, smiling under the moonlit sky.
“Avante, what’s the time?”
“20:44 sir.”
My eyes felt heavy, how long had it been since I got a good night's sleep?
“Axure!” I heard Nora’s voice break my daze when I dragged my eyes to her. “It seems you need some sleep. Laura, guide Axure to one of the empty rooms please. He shall sleep there.”
I wasn’t even thinking anymore. My brain had been pumping excessively, endlessly for the past few days without a few moments of rest.
I just wanted some sleep now.
The blonde haired maid, Laura led me out of the room as I heard the conversations continue behind me before the door shut. I just ignored it. I wasn’t even bothered to listen anymore. I walked behind her without saying a word, feeling the strength in my eyelids falter and after another endless walk, I had arrived at a brown double door. She opened the door for me and held her arm out directing me to the inside.
“I request you do not walk around the palace freely as your face is not known yet and the princess has not alerted anyone of your arrival. It can end up dangerous for you. If you request my assistance, I shall be in a room, down the hallway. Just ask the guards in this domain for me and I shall be of your service.”
She gave a small bow as I looked at her carelessly, ending off the moment with the loud screeches from the hinges. Dropping my gun to the floor and taking off my belt, I let go of everything and fell back onto the mattress.
I sunk in.
It cushioned me, welcoming me. It felt as if this mattress was the only thing that showed me some sort of affection in this world. I let out a whiff, was I going mad?
No. I wasn’t. How long have I been struggling in this world? Left stranded in an unknown universe by an unknown force being pulled by unknown strings. How long? Just how much longer?
Agh. How much fucking longer? How long? How long? How long? Howlonghowlong!
What had I done to get here? What had I sacrificed?
I lay down on the bed with my hand over my head when a sudden recollection of all my memories in this world tore my mind apart, scratching my very insides as my stomach churned. The acids in my belly jumped around, as I thought of everything I had done to get here.
I saw it.
I saw it again.
The face of a dead old man, lying on the floor, butchered from the stomach up with blood staining his white beard.
I shot upwards as I held my mouth, stopping my gag.
I saw it again.
The bandit, dead from a gunshot I had inflicted upon him.
I saw it.
Three bodies laying across the wooden floorboards, painting them red.
My stomach leaped as I gagged again. I ran to the bathroom, kicked the door open as I leaned over the edge of the sink.
I saw it again.
The face of the man dressed as a noble. Pure dread filled his eyes as I shot him. The vivid scene of blood ripping through his shoulder as he fell back.
I heard it again.
The final scream of a man tasting death, before dying helplessly in an explosion.
I was so taken away by the constant events of today, I just realized I hadn’t even had a single meal.
Yet, I vomited.
I kept going, and going until my stomach began to tangle itself together sending jolts of pain throughout my body. I fell back as I scrambled back to my feet, falling to the side of the bed while holding my stomach. I let go and rested my arm on one knee as I looked to the ground.
How many moments did I even have a chance to get, to reflect on everything thus far?
I killed people. I really did that.
It seemed, my mind had truly done what I said it would.
I… I can never go back… I’m a killer now… I’ve taken lives.
It flashed by me, again, and again, and again. The lifeless bodies, the splatters of blood and the helpless screams. How deafened I had been? Hearing the cry of a man, screaming for dear life before dying a horrible death. That I caused.
The scream ripped apart my mind, echoing endlessly.
I ended a man's life forever. Me. Yes, me.
As darkness filled the room, with the sun being fully set, I sat alone frozen in my thoughts. And without warning, I tasted the salty taste of a tear wriggling down.
I looked up to the ceiling and whispered tiredly to myself, “The world wants me to do something. I’ll do whatever it takes to get home. Whatever.”
Part Three
I didn’t know how long I had been asleep for, nor did I care but the extreme pangs of hunger pulsated through my body, forcing me to wake up. I didn’t even bother asking Avante for the time, I just got up and wearily put on my clothes.
“Do brushes even exist in this world?” I said in a croaky voice, going over to the bathroom. I was so tired that I hadn’ t really appreciated the beauty of the room full of ornate furniture with a bed so big, I thought at least four people could sleep on it. My belly rumbled on, barely letting me focus on anything but the thought of food and so remembering the maids blurry face, I left my room to seek her.
I asked a guard for directions and so I followed them down the hallway, luckily bumping into her on the way.
“Oh God,” she gasped, “Do you need anything, sir?”
“Food. Please, I’m so hungry,” I said with my hand on my stomach, listening to the quiet churns inside.
“Oh you missed Nora’s breakfast. She shares it with all the maids and her personal guards. She asked for you but you were nowhere to be seen.”
“Yes, yes, that’s great and all but I need food now.”
Eventually, I was taken to a desolate room with a long table hosting about twenty two seats and so I ravaged upon the food immediately. It tasted extra good, maybe because it was free and also because of the extreme hunger. But the flavours of whatever was before me, mixed very well. Dozens of extravagant colours all nested on one platter as if a work of art.
Maybe this wasn’t the modern world, but I was in a royal palace nonetheless.
As I came close to finishing, my thoughts finally began to flow in again.
Okay. What the fuck now?
No because, seriously. What is the next move? I eat, then what does this woman want from me after? I’m sure I missed out on something crucial last night because of my fatigue so maybe finding out about that was the first thing I needed to do.
The golden haired maid came again, addressing me with respect and softness, “Mr Avante, the Princess is calling for you.”
“Tell Nora she can wait please,” I said, diving back into my meal. There was a short silence, and then a reply finally followed, “As you wish sir.”
And I was left alone with the echo of the shutting door.
I can’t stay at the level I am at right now. If I want to survive, I need to advance the level of technology I possess, and fast. A gun is good enough for close combat with regular guards, but for those that transcend that… Well, I need to move onto something new.
I rattled my belt, and held onto the small pouch I had made in Jay’s place.
And my bullets are running out. I’ll need to create a lot more.
I had used at least nine bullets ever since I came here so I had at least eleven left. One left in the gun and ten hiding in the pouch. And an even bigger issue was, now I didn’t have a skillful pair of hands, so now the manufacturing was up to me.
Whatever. If I can’t do it alone, it just means I’m not good enough.
My thought was interrupted again by the same woman, “Mr Axure, the Princess asked for you to hurry up.”“Okay, okay. I’m coming,” I grunted while scratching my hair and followed her back to the main office.
“By the way, what’s your name?”
“You can call me Laura, Mr Avante.”
It looked like it was only me that was summoned this time, Zidane and the brown woman were not present. Laura left behind me, slowly shutting the door leaving me and Nora alone.
“Nora, is there another seat for me? I don’t want to stand and talk,” I said in a boorish tone. Agh, it annoyed me for sure. This woman infuriated me so much that I couldn’t help but let my attitude toward her slip.
There was one thing I hated more than anything in the universe. And that was not being free. This woman had me wrapped around her finger, stuck in a chokehold and she knew it. She had me. Yes, me in her hand and I was the perfect person for her to use in her religious conquest or whatever nonsense she was embarking on.
Agh, it infuriated me. Enraged me. I hated it. I hated it so much. Every time I stood before her, I felt like I was shackled more than I even was inside that prison. That ambiguous gaze she always had, always remained the same as if daring to try and peer into my soul. Those who took away my freedom, and those who didn’t understand their own freedom, prickled my skin the most. What hateful people.
“Since when did you become so demanding?” She replied, lashing out her hand toward the side of the room. Like she had her own gravitational pull, a wooden chair flew to position itself before the desk.
“Oh relax your Highness, I just don’t think it’s fair for me to be standing while you remain seated.”
“I thought we spoke about this. Please, don’t refer to me as that. Whenever you say it, I get a chill down my spine.”
I really couldn’t tell if she was joking or not, but I attempted to hide my attitude amongst my banter.
“I apologize, I apologize, just tryna lighten up your dull expression,” I said, raising my hands as if trying to calm her down.
“I know I keep saying this, but you really interest me.”
Take a hint, woman. I don’t respect you clearly. Drop me.
“Nevertheless, you have joined my people and I want to address a few matters.”
I tilted my head slightly, intrigued but also dreading the next words.
“First, I am granting you that room officially so you now have a place to stay. Rejoice.”
“Wow. The princess has sarcasm.”
“Secondly, I will inform the other domains of the palace of your identity, so you are known throughout the royal guards and workers alike.”
“Shall I rejoice again?”
“I might kill you,” she shot back. I raised my brows and hands, surrendering to her fake threats.
“Continue, continue.”
“And lastly, we shall depart to Ballaad, the day after tomorrow.”
The moment those words came out of her mouth, under the desk and out of her sight, I balled my fist in pure bliss, not letting the smile creep on my face.
Fuck yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Perfect-!
She cut my line of thought as I continued to hold my fist together, while maintaining my blank expression.
“Ballaad is a city about two or three days away on horseback,” she continued, “but with this ground dragon of ours, we can reduce the journey to about a day and night.”
“Can I ask why we are going there or will you kill me?”
She sighed.
“The Throne’s Selection Of Eighteen is starting. My coming of Queen won’t pick itself.”
Perfect. Fucking perfect.
Finally, this world had presented me with a chance to actually undo my wrongs. The last time, Jay fucking died and I literally time-looped and couldn’t undo anything. But now…
“A whole day… plus a journey consisting of day and night…” I muttered, looking onto the desk.
“Yes, exactly that. What will you do in the meantime?” She asked when I looked back up at her, with a smile finally drawn on my face.
“I’m going to help you get there safely.”
That was a lie.
I’m going to build some dynamite and escape you.