I’d been sitting in the hospital’s parking garage for almost half
an hour looking at the cowboy hat and jacket in my lap before I
worked up the energy to toss them in the back seat and pull out my
phone. The light of my screen a small source of sight in the dark
car, barely lit by a few dimmed florescent lights in the concrete
halls outside, while I slowly worked up the energy to go to my
contacts. Every movement a struggle, every screen hesitated on longer
and longer, Chaser’s contact pulled up and…
I put my phone back in sleep mode, head rolled back against the chair
with a low groan, a form appearing in the passenger seat beside me I
didn’t even need to look at. Barbie’s cold hand on my hand as she
said, “you can wait to call if you need.”
“No,” I muttered, rubbing my tear soaked eye a moment as I took
my phone back up, “just… she doesn’t know, I hope
she doesn’t know, but… I don’t know if the number’s still
good.”
“Mary-”
“Don’t, I know,” I interrupted, eye shut tight as I unlocked my
phone only a few seconds before tossing it back down. A thousand
words on my lips before I settled for screaming, “Fuck!”
I screamed, my ribs burning with the effort while I fell against the
steering wheel, a broken laugh escaping my lips. Tears flowing, my
mind racing a thousand miles a moment while I looked up to Barbie in
the cold white light that poured through my car’s windows. The
ghost looking at me with something that couldn’t be anything but
pure pity, like I was a fucking dog that needed comfort.
She should have hated me.
“He shouldn’t have been there,” I said, letting my forehead
fall back against the steering wheel with a shake of my head.
Barbie’s hand squeezed my own, and the ghost did her best to
comfort me, “maybe Percy will know what happened. I mean… look, I
hate to say it, but he’s a hunter, could it have been a
misunderstanding or-”
“Not the apartment,” I interrupted her, finally sitting up as I
let out a final laugh, “the Purists, he… he wanted to leave, and
I couldn’t help him leave how he wanted to, but he wanted to.
He shouldn’t have been in the Purists. I got better, why couldn’t
he?” a quick look at Barbie, the ghost offering nothing but a
concerned stare as I continued, “He didn’t even like killing the
same way I did. I got off on it, and he… he wanted to kill, he
liked it, but no more than I did, and I’m getting better. I’m
getting better, right? Why couldn’t he have gotten better? Why
couldn’t he have had his chance? Just because I…”
I let my words trail off, too afraid to say the next part aloud, too
afraid to say what I wanted to say. No combination of words and ideas
I could string together not sounding how it would have meant, and the
actual saying of those words too scary a prospect.
Barbie at least getting the point, and doing her best to help with a
token, “it wasn’t your fault.”
Predictable enough to be laughable, and all the same making me ask,
“did I do anything to stop it?” Barbie looking ready to speak
before I continued, “Misha had to drag me out of the Purists, and
he didn’t even know me. He just, saw a half-starved Purist scared
to die and offered to get me a pardon, said he’d help me start a
new life. Hunter… I asked him to leave, told him he could have the
same, but I didn’t force him. He didn’t get given the choice
after almost getting his head ripped off, I just… I gave him a
choice to leave everything he knew behind, and acted like it was a
surprise he went back to what was safe.”
The ghost not answering, looking lost as I was even as I finally
forced my body to move without pause. Phone unlocked, Chaser’s
contact still pulled up, phone dully ringing again and again and
again until I thought I’d need to leave a message begging her to
call me.
Only as I was almost hoping for it she finally answered, the ringing
stopping as the woman answered with a cheery, “Mary! Wolf Gods, you
know how late it is?” a mirthful laugh that made my heart sink in
my chest, “what do I owe the pleasure? Don’t take me for
complaining, just a pleasant surprise, though… Oh, Gevaudan! I
almost forgot. I told her to say you should give me a ring sometime,
she tell you?”
My hand was shaking, my voice gone as I let out a few shaking noises
and forced myself to answer, “I um… I needed to talk, um…
Hunter, he…”
My voice trailed off, and even over the phone I could hear the tone
change as Chaser admitted, “I… haven’t talked to him in a bit.
Tracker went off with some other Purists who went for that whole
declaring a leader competition. I told her I’d support her,
but I wasn’t looking to become part of her court when it crashed
and burned. Hunter… he’s an adult. I still had the number her
pack was using, gave it to Gevaudan earlier, did you want it? I
figured you’d ask her or just get it from Hunter when he swung by,
I just-”
“Something happened,” I interrupted, the feeling of bile in my
throat rising up, “he… a bunch of werewolves attacked us, and
he…”
I couldn’t bring myself to say the words, the silence that hung
between us deafening with only my heartbeat filling the air with any
sound. Even Chaser’s breath over the phone completely silent, both
of us knowing exactly what happened in that moment and neither able
to say it.
Chaser’s voice shaking as she muttered, “are you sure?”
I nodded for no one but myself and realized it wasn’t enough, “I
saw the um…”
Body.
One word, two fucking syllables, it should have been easy to say and
I couldn’t bring myself to say it. Like that made it any easier,
like she didn’t know what had happened, and all the same the words
impossible to mutter.
The woman at least sparing me a little as she started to speak, voice
shaking as she muttered, “I… what do you mean he attacked? Why
would he…” and silence, that deafening noise until she finally
told me, “I can… I can come by the Covenant in a few days, did
you manage to…”
“I’ll get his ashes, I can… I can get them to you when you come
by if you want, or see about burying him at the covenant. He wasn’t
a member, but I don’t think anyone would complain and I know
Purists don’t really do graves or-”
“We’ll talk about it,” Chaser interrupted me, her voice shaking
as she muttered to herself, only as I was about to speak up telling
me, “I need to… I need to call people, figure out if Tracker
knows what happened, tell… does Gevaudan know?”
“I told her he wasn’t there, she called him,” I admitted, the
answer met with silence before I added on, “I’ll… I’ll tell
Misha, something tells me if he even cares he’d prefer hearing it
from me.”
That getting a laugh at least as Chaser admitted, “I won’t argue
with you there, just… give him my number if he wants it?”
“If he asks,” I said, dancing around that topic as much as
possible before hearing the phone hang out without a final word.
Barbie and I left alone, neither of us speaking until I heard a
familiar scratching behind me. My head turning just enough to see a
familiar black and white mass of fur crawling over the console as
Lord asked, anything I can do, beautiful? With a tone I had to
admit was slightly respectful compared to normal.
The words still enough to make me laugh a little as I asked, “what
the fuck are you doing here? I forgot you were at the apartment, did
you-”
Mary, Lord interrupted, a
small sigh of a huff escaping him as he went to sit in Barbie’s
lap. One paw falling through the ghost’s thigh and his entire body
tumbling end over end until he laid there perfectly still on his
back. Unmoving until he spoke in the clear voice of one pretending to
not be embarrassed, you would be surprised how agile a cat
can be while escaping a serious situation, and I saw your car drive
up while I was hiding in the parking lot. The hot guy left his door
open before running back to close it and I slipped in. I… kinda
just hoped you’d be back before the sun came up… also is he
single? You climbing the dilf trees now?
“He’s my uncle.”
You want two uncles? Lord
asked, before immediately following it up with
a surprisingly serious, wrong
time for jokes, I apologize. I’m coping with the stress in an
inappropriate way, His tail
flicking a moment before adding on, you should go check on
Percy, they kicked me out of the ambulance. I assume that’s why
you’re here? I’ll hang out with the ghost girl.
“Do I want to ask about the fact you saw her too, and just, didn’t
say anything?”
Kinda figured you knew animals see ghosts,
the cat admitted, looking up at Barbie while she pet him with an icy
hand, also she gave me treats sometimes while she watched
you sleep.
I blinked, staring the cat down a moment and then back up to the
ghost before telling them, “we can unpack this later. Barbie, you
can apparently grab stuff, I’m leaving my keys here. Just… unlock
the car when I get back, and play some music for him if he gets
bored. He likes musicals, just put on Footloose.”
Neither having time to answer before I was out of the door slamming
the door shut behind me, trying to not question the fact this was my
life or brought me some amount of comfort. My head shaking as I
walked through the parking garage, still fumbling with my phone as I
forced myself to make a final call.
Misha’s number, a little easier to dial than Chaser though the wait
painful all the same. His mobile number going straight to voice mail,
his office number not picking up, and his hotel room number…
I heard the crackling pick up of his phone picking up, voice sounding
wrong over the phone speaker as he answered, “Misha here, who am I
talking to?”
“It’s me, um, Mary,” I muttered, steps slowing through the near
empty parking garage as I forced through the fear and disgust. The
words forced out quickly, making bile want to come up after them, and
all the same said in one burst of momentum, “Hunter’s dead.”
The silence long, someone speaking in the background and silenced by
a quick word for Misha. The sound of a door opening and closing and
the man finally saying, “I’m sorry to hear that, are you okay?”
I laughed. His brother was fucking dead and he was worried about me.
Sure they hadn’t been close, but they were family and we…
We’d been married for years, or close enough it felt like it, we’d
had a kid together.
I almost felt dizzy as I admitted, “still processing.”
Misha made a noise of acknowledgment, his tone uncertain as he said,
“I’ll talk to Circe about some stuff, but… is there anything I
can do? Is there anyone with you right now? Gevaudan and Marty, are
they okay?”
“Visiting my friend, Percy,” I half-lied, the truth behind why at
least not said, “Gevaudan and Marty are okay.”
“Good, good, thank you for um…” he stopped himself, laughing as
he admitted, “thank you for telling me. We only met a couple times,
but it’s um…”
“I’ll let you go,” I said, my vision starting to blur with
tears once more, “I just… I wanted to let you know.”
“Call me if you need anything.”
I wasn’t sure who hung up first, though I knew my phone didn’t
leave my hand again until I was walking into the hotel lobby. Only
stopping at the door to wipe my eye, not even realizing I’d walked
through the rain until I saw the droplets on my phone screen and the
shirt I wore. The hyper sanitized smell of a hospital, cleaners and
the lemon they thought covered up the smell, a thick wall that barely
hid the faded scents of a hundred people.
This book was originally published on Royal Road. Check it out there for the real experience.
My body not moving until the man at the desk asked, “are you
looking for the ER, miss? It’s around the side.”
“Um, no, I don’t think so,” I muttered, the shake in my voice
stuffed down by a determined gulp, “I’m here to see a patient,
was brought in earlier tonight, name’s Percy.”
“I’m sorry, ma’am, visiting hours are over. Are you family?”
he asked, the tone of someone trying to help and push me that
direction as little it might have brought me.
Still not enough.
I wasn’t feeling like playing the games tonight and instead I told
him, “call your boss or manager or whatever nurses have and tell
them Mary Jameson is here to see Percy. If they have a problem, put
me on the phone.”
“Ma’am, I’m trying to help, can you just-”
“Call them,” I interrupted, leaning on the desk, my voice colder
than I intended it to be as my eye bore down into the man, “now.”
He shifted in his seat, hand reaching for something a moment before
settling on the phone instead. A quick extension dial, and he told
his boss, “Mary Jameson here to see Percy?… I don’t either, she
said-”
I reached over, snatching the phone up and speaking into it to
announce, “I work for The Lady. What room is Percy in?”
A long silence, the sound of a keyboard working, and a woman told me,
“floor 3, room twelve. I can’t guarantee he’s there now, or
awake if he is, but he’s still labeled as stable.”
“Thank you.”
I sat the phone back on the counter, not bothering to wait for the
elevator and going straight for a quick sprint up the stairs. My ribs
burning with each leap, body feeling like giving out, but carrying me
to the right floor all the same. Out into the halls, barely ten feet
down a hall before a nurse stepped out of one room and gestured me
over to her.
The woman not saying a word as I followed her around the floor’s
halls until we stopped outside a room and she said, “He’ll be out
of surgery in another hour or so. Do you need us to avoid giving him
an EKG?” A confused look earning me a quick, “heart monitor. You
doing anything that’s going to get the line erratic or flat? I know
what The Lady does, but not everyone here does and if you want to be
subtle I need to know if we set that up right or not.”
“I’ll try not to do anything like that,” I admitted, the woman
unlocking the door for me and holding it open until I was all the way
through. The sound of it closing and locking behind me a brief flash
of stress before I brushed it off as something The Lady had set up.
Percy had gotten attacked, might as well make sure he had an extra
layer of defense if someone tried again. Hell, even if he wasn’t in
the room yet, it made sense to avoid anyone being able to get in
there and sabotage anything.
So I walked into an empty room, not even a hospital bed in it, and
took my place on an uncomfortable wooden chair with barely cushioned
fabric over it. A brief worry about Lord and Barbie silenced by the
general thought of they’ll be fine for a few hours.
If Lord needed to use the bathroom, Barbie could probably let him
out, and if he needed to eat or drink I was sure I kept some water
bottles and spare bags of treats on hand. The thought briefly
distracting me from my worry enough to think, no wonder he’s
gaining weight, how many treats is she sneaking him?
Anymore concern cut off by the sound of the door being unlocked once
more, and I was on my feet before realizing it couldn’t have been
anywhere near an hour. A brief flicker of fear shooting through me
before the first crack formed in the door and I was hit with a
familiar scent.
The door opened once more for only the briefest of moments, and my
grandma stepped through the door in a long raincoat with a wide
brimmed hat held to her chest. Only looking surprised to see me in
there for a moment before she walked over and wordlessly took a spot
in the chair next to me.
Neither of us saying a word to the other for the longest time, sat in
complete silence with me occasionally glancing her way until I asked,
“can we switch chairs?”
“Switch chairs?” my grandma started, raising a brow as she looked
my way, “ah, the eye. Of course.”
Both of us rising, the woman moving out of my blind spot and taking
her spot once more as I asked, “you heard about Percy? Is that why
you’re here?”
“Well, much as I like hanging around empty hospital rooms late at
night, I am here for him at the moment,” she admitted with a soft
nod, lips pursed a moment before adding on, “I received a call from
The Lady, she informed me on the basics of what happened and wanted
me to make clear to the hunter circles it was Purists who attacked
Percy. I just wanted to come by and hear what he had to say, and,
well… are you doing alright?”
I nodded, the movement feeling like a lie even before I broke down
and told her, “Hunter died.”
She nodded, my grandma’s brow furrowing as she admitted, “I’m
sorry if I’m remembering wrong he was your… your ex-husband
right? Little Marty’s dad.” My nod enough an answer for her,
“I’m… I’m sorry to hear that, Mary. It’s… Hank and I
weren’t particularly close when he died, but it was still hard
getting used to him being gone. Were you two?…”
“We hadn’t really talked in a while, we… I guess you can say we
stopped um, well… we haven’t been together for a couple years,”
I laughed despite myself, shaking my head at the thought, “I
shouldn’t be like this, I know, I just-”
“Mary,” my grandma interrupted, her look that same pity I’d
gotten from Barbie, “don’t play that game. You never bluff
yourself into feeling better than how you do when you pull that lie.”
I nodded, not sure what else to say and only able to tell her, “Marty
and Gevaudan are… they’re going to be staying with dad for a
couple days, are you still there?”
“I was, though I can find other board if I end up needing to,”
the woman brushed off with a wave of her hand through the air, “I
wouldn’t last long on an air mattress, though I understand if
they’re not particularly good for it either. You planning to tell
Martin he’s a grandfather?”
“Probably need to. Me getting called mommy is going to give that
the fuck away,” I admitted, laughing a little at the thought,
“we’re… we’ll be there around noon tomorrow. I’ll try and
explain everything then, you think that’s fair?”
Cynthia made a low humming noise, rolling her head back and forth
before admitting, “it’ll have to do. Better the kids there when
it happens, he’s more likely to be on his best behavior whatever
happens first.”
Her words left on the air as we settled back into a silence, neither
of us speaking as we sat in the florescent white light of the empty
room. The occasional sound of an announcement or someone walking by
filling me with a small bit of excitement, sitting up in place, ready
to run and greet Percy.
Never just right, my worry growing into an incessant tapping of my
heel on the ground, and the taste of my own blood filling my mouth in
the moment before I felt a small slap at my hand. The wolf jumping
only a moment before I heard my grandma tell me, “don’t chew that
cheek, it’s still injured.”
My hand gently touching the gouge in the left side of my mouth, the
stitches feeling… secure, my fingers didn’t come away bloody,
though raw to touch. All my willpower going to avoiding biting it or
running my tongue along the inside there until the door opened once
more.
Several nurses coming through with a hospital bed between them, a
wall of flesh that barely gave me more than a passing glance while
they went about moving an IV into place, attached machines from
around the room to the form there. A professional silence between
them even as I distantly heard Percy letting out a series of nonsense
words, his scent filling the air.
Blood, plenty of it, the antiseptic of a hospital, a thousand scents
of doctors and nurses carrying behind it. A scent like a fresh corpse
covered in bleach, probably no where near as strong to anyone else
there, but to me at least…
I rose to my feet, trying to avoid getting in the way of the nurses
but walking a slow pace around the nurses to view Percy. Whatever I
was expecting somehow worse and so much better than how he actually
looked.
Most of what I could see, all below the waist covered in a blanket,
was covered in gauze and bandages. His torso tightly wrapped, his
left arm held rigid at his side in a caste with his right one covered
in stitching and bandages with three fingers in splints. What hair he
still had, several patches shaved in it for stitches, looking even
worse off; the dirty blonde locks contrasting against purplish
bruised skin that almost swelled one eye complete shut.
I wasn’t sure how he was alive, and I almost didn’t care as I saw
a flicker of recognition across his face. A busted lip curling into a
smile, his body attempting to move in some way the nurses stopped,
and a voice I could barely recognize calling out, “Mary! Pretty
lady, came to see me, my best friend.”
The nurse who helped me earlier sighing as she clipped something on a
relatively healthy finger on his right hand, “he’s still coming
off the anesthesia, he won’t be coherent for a bit — if he’s
even capable of being so. Your boss is the only reason you two are
allowed in here, and honestly I don’t know what good it will do
you.”
“I’m fine!” Percy called out with about eight syllables for
‘fine’, “feel just like Buddy Holly, right, Mary?”
I wasn’t exactly sure how to respond to that, offering a quick
glance at my grandma who was silently cackling into her hand. The
woman barely managing to gesture me over with an order of, “give
him a little space and time to wear it all off. You putting him on
pain meds?”
“Limited quantities until you leave,” the nurse answered, the
answer making me want to run out of there that instant. Her attempt
at comfort not helping much as she added on, “look, what he’s
been through… anything short of a medical coma he’s going to be
in pain, and that isn’t exactly medically advisable. We treat what
we can, but you wait a little bit you might get him cohesive
enough to talk to him, and that depends on his pain tolerance,
understood?”
“Understood,” I muttered, almost too dizzy to stand as I let
myself fall back next to my grandma.
The nurses hardly turning on the last machine before leaving us once
more, the door locking behind them with another click. Their scents
hanging on the air, the sounds of the machines an almost deafening
chorus, and Percy continuing rambling whatever seemed to come to his
mind.
“Pretty ladies come to see me, because I’m her best friend ever.”
“Give me the scarlet rot please, mommy, I’ll listen to Weezer for
it.”
“That’s not a good doggy, not a good one at all, beloved.”
“They’re putting Spaghettios in my blood.”
A string of words occasionally making some sense for a few minutes at
a time and then immediately switching to something I couldn’t
follow the logic of. My grandma continuing to silently cackle into
her hand while I could just watch him concerned until his words
trailed into nothing and he went quiet.
Percy completely still on the bed, the soft wheeze of his breath on
the air the only thing keeping me from calling a nurse. Only after I
thought he might he genuinely fallen asleep he finally lifted his
chin halfway up. His unswollen eye scanning the room and looking at
me with a clarity behind it that hadn’t been there before until he
finally drawled out, “Marty okay?”
“He’ll be fine, we’re moving him somewhere safe tomorrow,” I
admitted, frowning as I rose to my feet once more and walked to the
man’s side. Eye tracing down over his bandaged form as I asked,
“how do you feel?”
Percy let out a low groan, barely able to move as he looked down at
himself and admitted, “little better than I look probably. Those
wolves fuck up my face too much?”
I hesitated to answer, not really able to tell what was swelling that
would go away and what was permanent injury as I hesitantly admitted,
“you’re not really in the running for a modeling career right
now.”
“No change, got it,” the man muttered, an attempt at a laugh
turning to a hissing pain and mumbling nonsense. The man’s eyes
closed tight as he asked, “can you go ask the nurse if I can have
some of the good stuff? Are they worried about like, that drug
seeking behavior shit, because I am fully seeking some drugs right
now. Will I get in trouble for saying that?”
“Probably, though… they were holding off on giving you any more
until we left,” I admitted, frowning as I glanced back at my
grandma, “I… I want to say we’ll leave right now if you want,
but-”
“Wolves,” Percy admitted, groaning as he struggled to settle
himself in the bed once more, “fuck, alright, let’s get this over
with.” The man trailing off into silence long enough I thought he
had forgotten what he was about to say, “I heard a knock at the
door, figured might have been you I’d heard the um… elevator,
that’s the word. Was about to open it, heard the floorboards
creaking so I took a look out. There was a, um… cowboy looking
fellow, he said he was there to see Marty.”
My heart was in my stomach, every piece of willpower I had going to
avoid showing what I felt on my face as I listened. The worry of if
it was a misunderstanding somehow creeping in again while Percy
seemed to gather his thoughts once more.
Percy at least not seeming to notice as he continued, “asked how he
knew him, said he was Gevaudan’s brother so I went to let him in,
had my knife behind my back just in case. Barely have the door open
asking if he likes chili, he steps aside and this… well, wolf, it
charges out and I run back. Things are kinda a blur after that, I…
I got it off me, another one charges me I’m still getting up, gets
a few good hits in before I managed a blind slash and got lucky.
Cowboy’s stripping down and I take the chance and charge him, get a
couple good stabs in, and a couple others drag me off. I’m getting
my shit kicked in — you’ve seen Jojo right?”
“No,” I managed to say.
“well, had three pairs of boots going into my ribs,” he admitted
with another laugh that turned into a pained groan. The man taking
much longer to recover that time before he finished it off, “Heard
some gun shots and a couple ran off, didn’t do me much good, third
was about ready for the kill. Red showed up, saved my ass, I laid
there until there was half as much of my blood in my brain as on my
body. Gave you a call, you know what happened then?”
I nodded, only as I started to try and speak realizing how impossible
it felt to form words, to say anything clearly. A look I could only
describe as recognition crossing the man’s face, any attempt I
might have made to not make it sound worse killed as I asked, “why
the fuck did he do that?” Neither of us speaking again, Percy
himself looking like he was trying to figure out what to say while my
grandma walked up finishing her short hand. A croaking laugh escaping
me as I repeated, “why the fuck did he do that? He… He wouldn’t
need to. I just-”
“I’m sorry.”
The words cutting through the air like a knife, the only thing Percy
could say and I struggled to find my own response. Everything I could
think to say too cruel, too dismissive, impossible to capture what I
actually meant to say.
And I didn’t say.
My feet carrying me across the hospital room, out into the hallways,
back towards my car, only stopping to stand in the rain outside the
parking garage once more.
My thoughts a rolling train as I tried figuring out who to talk to,
who could actually help me understand what I was feeling. I was
mourning an ex, a Purist, the father of my fucking son, and he’d
tried killing my friend, he’d…
What did he even want with Martin?
Who would even know that?
His pack maybe, but I didn’t have a way to contact them, I didn’t
have a way to help, but maybe…
Maybe the rain wouldn’t totally wipe away the scent of a scared
Purist who lost her pack.
My steps with a new determination, rushing back to my car to try and
get to the apartment, phone dialing until Vergil picked up and I
didn’t wait for him to finish speaking to ask, “if I drop off my
car in the city can you have someone pick up Lord out of it? I need
someone to hold onto him for a few hours, couple days at most.”
The man laughed, and I could almost hear him shaking his head as he
admitted, “just tell me where you leave it and I’ll swing by and
grab him. Scruffy will love having him around, they always get along,
can I just ask why though?”
The temptation to not explain won out by the urge to admit, “need
to just run around in the rain for a little bit. Want to see if I
still have a little Bloodhound left in me.”