« Carter, wake up. »
It was hazy.
In the darkness of the young man’s mind, he heard the close, yet far voice of his mother.
It was as if he had just woken up after a long slumber.
He didn’t know exactly what was happening, as he instinctively replied in his head.
Mom, please five more minutes, I’m still so sleepy.
Where is my blanket at? Why is it so uncomfortable and chilly?
His mom sighed.
”Carter… Why did you leave us in this hell?”
Carter scowled in his mind.
Mom scratch that, you know far well why…
Before finishing his thought, Carter’s eyes narrowed.
His heart pounding loudly in his chest, he knew it wasn’t his dear mother talking to him.
Wanting to remember something, his memories flooded his head bit by bit but many spots weren’t making any sense.
A chill ran down his spine as he still didn’t move.
It was frightening, the tone, the accent, it was frightening how similar each of those were to his mother’s voice as Carter could even picture her joking smile while asking such an annoying question.
He wouldn’t have even questioned it If not for him being certain he would never see her again for he had already abandoned her in that hell only he had escaped from.
The young man gulped loudly.
Carter’s mind stopped thinking as surroundings got silent.
He tried opening his eyes but felt like his flesh was glued together.
“…”
His ‘mom’ sighed again.
More silence followed as both party had nothing to say.
After a while, a clearer voice entered Carter’s ears. If before he could only picture her figure, now Carter could point exactly where his mother’s voice came from.
“Seems you are awake and heard me very well Carter...” Before the young man could tense up, she continued. “What even is the meaning of Carter? Why Carter?” She asked in a slightly curious and amused voice.
It was fair to say Carter was caught off guard.
From the question this woman asked, he could conclude with certainty that something impersonated his mother.
Even if before he wasn’t too sure, now he was certain, after all, It wasn’t his mother’s strength to be self-aware nor introspective.
It was so bad, Carter felt like she was deaf while uttering nonsense.
Unbelievably, it felt like his fake mother figured as much as it went silent and didn’t pursue the topic.
Further stillness pursued.
His heart was already pounding way too fast, his body and mind were so tense, they were both frozen still, a total contradiction to his usual self.
He would be caught dead before uttering a single word.
Laughing in his mind to ease his nerves, he tried again what he already failed.
But his eyelids still couldn’t open.
Even with all his efforts, the flesh didn’t budge.
Inside them, his irises flailed around trying to sense or see something through material stuff. Obviously, it wouldn’t work.
Then again the woman spoke.
Though now it was another voice that entered Carter’s ears. It was a voice he couldn’t forget even after years.
Bits and pieces of emotions filled him, as it was the voice of his father, a pleasing, whimsical and playful one.
With the voice of a singer, it uttered four words.
“You are dead, Carter.”
A brief face of astonishment appeared on Carter’s face, the first real expression he showed when even astonished or scared, he was unfazed.
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Then the young man frowned slightly.
That’s… a surprise.
His frown deepened further as something didn’t feel right. Again, nothing was right, from a mimic and his lack of any sense, as if he didn’t exist, to his eyelids that were unnaturally unable to open, nothing seemed to make sense, but adding to that, his memories bothered him.
How did I die?
Prying into his mind, Carter couldn’t help but be frustrated by the cloud that permeated some parts.
He wanted to claw right in but the intensity only made the confusion worse.
Annoyed, he exhaled deeply.
Turning the gears of his still sleepy brain. He began thinking about how he was supposed to recover what he had lost.
Unfortunately, his one and only plan was to wait while focusing on their recovery.
But after a few minutes of silence and focus, he realized that the fog in his mind had no intention of clearing themselves, as if they weren’t a product of confusion but rather a deeper trauma in parts of his brain.
Could it be an injury when caused by the reason I died?
Convincing himself of the case, he was in an impass.
His jaws clenched as he shifted his line of thought to a more practical approach.
While usually someone with a more open mind, with a calm and more flexible brain, his frustration had tested his limits.
He was like a person stuck on his locker, with many different keys in his hands, trying every single one of them until he realized none were right.
Then, like a last ditch effort, he thought about, what he began calling, the mimic. He wondered if such an entity could help.
But, he didn’t want to speak to it.
Carter was, and will always be a wary guy, and even if his desire pointed towards only one solution, he stopped himself from being careless.
Perhaps it was fear, but he was already dead wasn’t he? So, what was there to fear?
Ironically, fear was irrational, and humans always acted upon it.
While Carter’s mental clock had already printed a few minutes, in reality, not much time had passed since the mimic informed him that he had deceased.
Inhaling, he tried to open his eyes again, and this time, in success.
What’s this… No, where is this place?
It was the darkest shade of black Carter had ever seen in his whole life, it was like he looked at the night sky without its usual little clusters of brightness that made it so beautiful and peaceful wherever you could see it.
Here it was voided of all of that, pitch black of unusual darkness.
A human’s eyes could picture figures wandering around its horizon.
It was like a clear canvas that a human’s mind could paint on, but unlike the calmness of a clear lake, this was like the disturbing silence that someone deaf and blind experienced.
It wasn't the dark that scared people, but what was inside it.
The young man’s heart was pounding fast as his breathing quickened. Unfortunately for him, there was nothing here he could rely on to anchor himself with.
There was no ground, no familiar people walking the streets, no windows, no ceiling, no sense of direction whatsoever. He was stranded in a void, his body feeling numb, he wanted to understand, to associate the alien feeling with something familiar, at the end he felt like falling.
Time seemed to slow down.
He felt the void cling closer like needles entering his eyes, his skin, his brain and then his heart.
So he breathed deeper, he slowed the pace of his heartbeat, as the darkness approached.
The urge to understand where he was chased his mind towards madness, so he buried them and accepted his lack of sense, familiarizing himself with the environment and alien feelings.
When his body started tingling from fear after a few seconds that felt like hours, the darkness went away bit by bit.
I'm a big boy. He thought still scared to his wits as he closed his eyes and stabilized his breathing.
While Carter thought his fears, the surroundings were still the same, the mimic silent as if waiting for him. He still didn’t know what it looked like nor what it really was, he considered it being just his mind playing tricks on him.
But then it came again, amused, annoying but pleasing and familiar.
“Impressive, most people would take more time getting used to this… environment, some even would start to go mad after their first look. You have a strong mind, Carter…” Pausing a bit, it added “...I’m still not used to this name.” A contradiction to how serious and frustrated the young man was.
Why always my name? Carter thought, slightly annoyed, asking in his mind with no anticipation of a response.
Opening his eyes again, this time with surprinsingly no effort, Carter finally saw something.
It was strange. Before his still blurry eyes was a figure, it resembled a human and would definitely be described as one, if not for the humanoid shape emitting light. A mystic like light, a pure shade of white, not blinding but a straight and beautiful contrast to what was around it.
Though, he could only but narrow his eyes at it.
The entity was there, and it was smiling, it was the light attracting a moth, only to swallow it whole.
Carter closed his eyes, as continuous staring still strained them.
He smiled slightly, it was a relived smile, although the brightness of the light was limited to the entity’s body and didn’t reach nor went in all direction like usual light, it was still something familiar, something he could cling to; it was a human need to understand as fear was the unknown.
Carter finally responded, to the pleasure of the entity.
“Some shine like the sun, and I have a strong mind, aren't both just the same?”
The living dim sun responded with a slight chuckle.
“Humble.”
After hearing the response, Carter returned to his normal face and thought about what he still needed to do.
Though, before he could even think of a word, he was frightened by the moving mimic that he somehow sensed, reminding him of how tense he still was.
He opened his eyes again and this time he saw many other things.
As if appearing from thin air like the entity that seemingly came out of the void, lines of light formed one by one, some were diagonal and some formed asymmetrical shapes, ranging from ten inches, to forty.
Many were far but some just beside him, some under, some above, and although they were everywhere, they didn’t fill much space, maybe one third or maybe half.
Carter turned and tilted his head slightly in front of one closest to him. Wondering if he could touch one, he reached but backed his hand slowly as he wisely remembered what hot plasma lines could do, though these ones were much more mystic and hypnotizing to the eye.
Then he turned and saw their creator sit on a slightly odd but pretty well-made chair, blue and white in colour reminding of the beautiful winter, with round table clearly made to drink and talk with the same patterns of colour as the chair.
Said table was facing another one seemingly waiting for a guest.
This was, again, curious and stunning but beautiful.
Remembering he was dead, he wondered if this was the afterlife or just closer to hell.
He still needed to know some stuff though so he steeled himself to go forward.
He felt like going to a meeting for a job, more than in a void where physics didn’t exist.
Well, I hope the judge won’t be a cosmic horror being who can mimic voices and scare the shit out of me. Carter did not know what a cosmic horror being was nor did he want to know, it was just the closest description he could get to lament and ease his mind.
He sighed.
“Should I sit?”
“Why not?”