I am no saint or guardian angel.
I am no perfect entity or fragile, eternal wings of relief.
I am a person. I am a living, breathing organism, who will no longer tolerate being accused of something I will never be.
And I will keep behind closed doors, for I will not partake in the pleasure of spending time with my former abusers.
I will not practice something that is already considered perfection by most and myself, despite this growing glutinous knowledge of greatness. I too wonder for fame and fortune, and if it will ever bestow me with its godly essence. Is it truly riches that I seek?
I do not know what it is to be perfect. However, I felt times of perfection with the grace of a swan and the path I embark.
I too have felt the world orbit its beauty and cry of Earth around me.
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I too have seen what it means to have lost meaning.
Yet you all still treat me as unworthy and ignorant. You treat me as though I am a child, seeking and absolutely requiring your assistance every step of the way.
I am no child. I am much more, yet you treat me as though I am a stray pitifully whining for scraps.
I have begged and wept that I am worthy-that I am worthy of freedom and liberty and all things this great country has to offer.
I am worthy for I am human as well.
I know you will never treat me as human, though. You will continue to berate and deplore and insult my trampled, lifeless soul until I am like you.
No longer shall I be a shell of myself. No longer shall I cover and pursue intellect that exceeds what I choose to believe.
All roads lead to words on a page containing an absence of thought.
When there is only the compensation of words to an apology, there is only regret in the face of the fury.
So, I am no saint, for I do not have the patience of a god. I have the patience of a mere mortal, which will never satisfy your need for forgiveness.
Your words appear to be of somber intent, yet as I gaze into the mirror of your soul, all I see is but an ash sky.
You cannot apologize for the atrocities I have witnessed without your actions.