"Miss Proctor, would you care to weigh in? Isn't this your specialty subject?"
Mr. Gains was staring at her expectantly, awaiting her answer.
Eliza's mouth had gone dry. Specialty subject, what did that even mean? She had no prepared words, no clever deflection. It was just her and blind panic, no Lucy anywhere nearby to save her this time with an alibi.
“I...” she started to reply, then felt her throat tighten. The other faces around her blurred ever so slightly. Mr. Gains’ expression shifted from expectant to one of concern.
“Miss Proctor? Are you alright?”
Eliza shook her head, unable to form words; panic rising in her chest. How could she be expected to speak of Puritan beliefs when she couldn't even form words?
“My apologies,” she managed, voice barely above a whisper as she slumped forward in the desk.
“Lilith? Lilith!" Mr. Gains was already moving toward her, his teacher’s instinct kicking in. “Oh my goodness. Becca, can you help me get her to the nurse's office?”
Becca was out of her seat and grabbed hold of Eliza immediately. “Of course Mr. Gains.”
Eliza stood on her shaky legs and let herself be guided toward the door by Becca and Mr. Gains. Once she was walking safely with Becca, she felt Mr. Gains release her and he redirected the class’s attention, continuing on with their lesson and ushering Becca toward the hall.
The hallway was blessedly quiet after the classroom’s intensity. Becca didn't let go of Eliza's arm as they walked toward the courtyard.
“We don’t actually have to go to the nurse if you don’t want,” Becca said quietly. “We can just walk around for a minute. That helps my anxiety more than sitting in that human-petri dish office with everyone coughing."
“A walk is preferred, yes,” Eliza said. She considered asking Becca what a human petri dish was, but thought better of it.
They moved slowly down the corridor, past rows of metal lockers and bulletin boards covered in colorful papers and announcements. There were SO many bright colors and noises in this new world. How did they all manage?
Eliza focused on keeping steady and putting one foot in front of the other, clinging to Becca.
“Was it the Puritan stuff?” Becca asked after a few minutes of silence between them. “That gave you a panic attack? You got upset when Mr. Gains started talking about it.”
“Yes,” Eliza admitted. How could she possibly explain everything she was going through? It was far too much. “It feels like I should not speak of it."
“I get that. My family’s from Ireland, and whenever we study the Famine in history, my mom gets this look on her face like she’s somewhere else. Her family stories are pretty bad,” Becca guided them toward a bench near a large window. “Here, let's sit for a minute in the sun.”
They rested, and Eliza could see a courtyard with tables and benches through the window, with a few students scattered around despite the cold. So much open space and freedom of movement. She marveled at it.
“Better?” Becca asked.
“Some.” Eliza turned to look at her properly. Becca’s eyes were even more stunning in the natural night. Not completely green, but flecked with gold near the center.
Eliza realized she was staring and looked back toward the outdoor courtyard quickly.
“You sure you’re okay?” Becca shifted closer, touching her hand. “You’re red. Maybe we should take you to the nurse...?"
“Oh no, I—” Eliza stood abruptly, putting distance between them. “I thank you for your kindness.” She started walking away, not entirely sure where her next class was but suddenly feeling the need to move her feet and burn off some energy.
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Becca caught up easily. “Okay, but if you need to bail again, just get my attention and I’ll help.”
“Why?” The question came out sharper than intended. “Why would you offer this? You barely know me.”
Becca looked surprised by the question. “I mean... because you seem cool? I don't know." She shrugged.
Eliza nodded.
"Besides,” Becca continued, with a slight smirk, “I’ve wanted to talk to you for a while. You’re always so quiet in class unless you're answering a question. You're kinda intimidating."
The rest of the morning passed in a haze. Calculus was incomprehensible, and English was full of references she didn’t understand. By the time lunch arrived, Eliza’s head pounded and her shoulders ached. All she wanted to do was lie down after having ingested enough information to mull over for an entire year.
She found Lucy at their designated spot, and they made their way to the cafeteria together.
The noise hit her first as they entered the cafeteria, hundreds of voices bouncing off tile floors and cinder block walls, the sound of shoes scuffling and trays clacking. Then the smells wafting through in layers, something fried and sweet.
Eliza froze at the entrance like a deer in headlights, much like she had that morning.
“Come on,” Lucy said, tugging her forward. “I know where we can go.”
They wove through the crowd to a table near the windows, blessedly empty. Eliza sank onto the chair, grateful to have Lucy's familiar face sitting across from her.
“So, how is it going?” Lucy asked excitedly, unpacking her lunch onto the table. "Tell me everything."
“Lucy,” Eliza started. “I know not where to begin."
“Yeah I know, school is a lot.” Lucy handed her the paper bag Aunt Ivy had packed for both of them that morning. “But hey, you made it through half a day and we haven't had to call Aunt Ivy to come get you. Better than I thought it would go, honestly."
Eliza opened the bag. It was a sandwich and chips, alongside a piece of bread that smelled like fruit, a fruit she'd recently learned this past week was called a 'banana.' They were her new favorite.
"Ugh bummer, just boring turnkey sandwiches today and banana bread," Lucy said, taking a bite. "Not even the good deli mustard either. Aunt Ivy is skimping."
The simple food felt miraculous to Eliza. She bit into the banana bread first, savoring the complex flavor. Then she took a bite of the sandwich, savoring the softness of the bread, the tang of mustard and smoked turkey.
Lucy’s eyebrows shot up suddenly, looking at someone behind Eliza. “Hey, what's Becca Duke doing walking over here?"
Eliza nearly choked on her sandwich. “What?”
“Oh man.” Lucy couldn't hold back her grin. “Lils has the biggest crush on her. She would be flipping out right now.” Lucy leaned forward conspiratorially. “Wait, did you talk to her?"
“She helped me earlier,” Eliza stopped eating, setting her sandwich down. “She is kind, we walked together."
“No way.” Lucy looked delighted.
“Lucy," Eliza whispered, leaning forward. “Prithee tell me, what do you know of her?"
Lucy waved away her question as a shadow fell across their table. Eliza looked up to find Becca standing there, tray in hand. She looked uncertain.
“Hey there, Proctors. Am I interrupting?"
Lucy piped up, "No not at all!" And then kicked Eliza under the table. Eliza grunted, scooting over to make room. Becca slid in beside her, close enough that their shoulders almost touched.
“So, Lucy, right?" Becca addressed the younger Proctor. "I’ve seen you around. You’re a freshman, right?"
“Yes,” Lucy nodded. “I skipped Eighth grade this year.”
“Oh, so you're smart then." Becca opened her orange juice carton, taking a sip and turning toward Eliza.
“Quick question Lilith--how would you feel about studying together sometime? I’m pretty decent at Biology, and Mr. Gains is always saying you’re like, a genius at history.”
Eliza stared at her blankly.
“Ouch, don’t volunteer all at once.” Becca’s smile was warm and teasing.
Lucy kicked Eliza again under the table, harder this time. She yelped.
“I...” Eliza’s mind raced. She should refuse, and yet she found herself not wanting to disappoint the kind redhead staring at her. "I would like that.”
“Yeah?” Becca’s smile widened. “Cool. How about Friday?”
“Friday?” Eliza repeated, the word feeling foreign in her mouth.
“Yeah, I was thinking we could grab coffee? There’s this cute place downtown, my treat. I’ll text you when you get your phone fixed.” Becca pulled out her own phone, scrolling through it. “Oh actually, can I get your Snapchat?”
Eliza stared at her and then nudged Lucy, who was absorbed with eating. "
"My Snapchat?" repeating so Lucy could hear.
"Or your TikTok or Instagram?" Becca tried again.
“Oh, Lils just deleted all her social media apps off her phone,” Lucy interjected smoothly. “She's doing a digital detox.”
“Wow, cold turkey is impressive.” Becca looked at her approvingly. “I should try that too, if I'm being real.”
The conversation continued, Becca talking about classes and teachers and something coming up called a talent show. Lucy helped deflect questions Eliza couldn’t answer, stepping in whenever the conversation veered toward unfamiliar territory.
When the bell rang, Becca stood reluctantly. “I have Spanish next. What about you?"
Eliza consulted her schedule. “Biology.”
“Opposite direction from me.” Becca touched her shoulder. “But I’ll see you Friday, yeah?”
“Yes. Friday.”
Becca disappeared into the crowd. Lucy grabbed Eliza’s arm the second they were alone, squealing.
“Oh my God. Oh my God! She definitely likes you.”
“Yes, she is a friend,” Eliza said.
“Eliza. I saw how she was looking at you. She's into you."
“What does that mean?"
Lucy signed. “Right. You don’t really know much about this, do you?" Lucy squeezed her hand. “Hey, Friday is coffee, okay? Go study and have fun with your friend."
“I should depart,” Eliza said. “Biology.”
“Text me if you need me,” Lucy said, then caught herself. “Or, you know, find me after school.”
Eliza nodded and turned into the crowded hallway, her mind spinning. Coffee on Friday. With her friend Becca.
Cool.