THE BIG DECISIONS
GAAFATAA — THE QUESTIONER
A reader raised his hand.
"I remember this one."
"What?"
"The father and his son."
"What about them?"
"It was funny."
"Was it?"
...
The reader hesitated.
"Yes."
"Then tell it."
He smiled.
"A young man in Oromia was about to get married.
Before the wedding, he went to his father for one final piece of wisdom."
...
"He asked:
'Father, what is the secret to a long and happy marriage?'"
...
"The father told him:
'It's simple.
You and your wife must divide the decisions in life.
Your wife makes all the small, unimportant decisions.
And you make all the big, life-changing decisions.'"
...
A few readers were already smiling.
I asked:
"What were the small decisions?"
The reader continued.
"Where they would live."
...
"How much money they would save."
...
"How their children would be raised."
...
"What they would eat."
...
"What furniture they would buy."
...
I looked around the room.
"Small?"
Someone laughed.
"That's the joke."
"What joke?"
"Those aren't small decisions."
"Then why call them small?"
"Because of what comes next."
...
I looked back at the reader.
"And what comes next?"
He smiled.
"The son becomes confused."
...
"He asks:
'Father...
what is left for me to decide?'"
...
"And the father proudly tells him..."
...
"'The truly big things.'"
...
"'Whether the United States should raise interest rates.'"
...
"'Who should win the World Cup.'"
...
"'And whether humanity should colonize Mars.'"
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...
The room laughed.
I didn't.
Eventually they noticed.
A reader raised her hand.
"What?"
"What was funny?"
"The father thinks he controls decisions that have nothing to do with him."
"Does he?"
"No."
"Then which decisions actually shape his life?"
She thought.
"The ones he called small."
...
"Where he lives?"
"Yes."
"Money?"
"Yes."
"Children?"
"Yes."
"Family?"
"Yes."
"Home?"
"Yes."
...
I asked:
"Then what makes a decision big?"
...
Another reader raised his hand.
"Its consequences."
"For whom?"
"Whoever the decision affects."
"How many people must it affect before it becomes big?"
...
He stopped.
Another writer raised her hand.
"One can be enough."
"How?"
"If a decision changes someone's entire life."
...
I looked toward her.
"Then can a decision be small to the person making it...
and enormous to the person living with its consequences?"
...
"Yes."
...
Another reader raised his hand.
"Okay.
Now you're making the joke depressing."
I asked:
"Did I change the joke?"
"No."
"Did I change what happened?"
"No."
"Then what changed?"
...
He understood.
"The context."
...
Good.
...
Another hand rose.
"Why was this scene in NAFSAN STORY?"
I looked toward him.
"Why do you think?"
"I don't know."
"Then why are you asking now?"
"Because I thought it was just a joke before."
...
"Before what?"
...
He didn't answer.
Another reader did.
"Before we knew where the world was going."
...
Silence.
...
A writer raised his hand.
"The father jokes about the United States making decisions."
"Does he?"
"Interest rates."
"What does that have to do with him?"
"Indirectly, potentially a lot."
"Does he control it?"
"No."
"Can decisions made far away still reach his home?"
...
"Yes."
...
Another reader raised her hand.
"And the World Cup is harmless."
"Is that a question?"
"No."
"Then why tell THE QUESTIONER?"
She laughed.
"Fine.
Does the World Cup matter here?"
"Should it?"
"I don't know."
...
Another hand.
"Mars?"
"What about it?"
"The father is talking about humanity's future."
"Which future?"
"Ours."
"Does he know what that future will become?"
...
"No."
...
The laughter from earlier was gone.
Another reader slowly raised his hand.
"How long before the war was this?"
...
I looked at him.
"Why does that matter now?"
"Because..."
...
He stopped.
Another reader finished.
"Because suddenly the phrase
'big decisions'
means something else."
...
I said nothing.
...
Another writer raised his hand.
"Who actually made the big decisions?"
I looked toward him.
"Which ones?"
"The ones that led to what happened."
...
"Which people?"
...
"Which governments?"
...
"Which leaders?"
...
"Which decisions?"
...
"Which moment?"
...
"Which decision could have changed everything?"
...
"Which decision looked small when it was made?"
...
Nobody answered.
...
Another reader asked:
"Did ordinary people have any control?"
I asked:
"Over what?"
"The war."
"All of it?"
"No."
"Their families?"
"Sometimes."
"Their homes?"
"Sometimes."
"Their choices?"
"Sometimes."
"The consequences of someone else's choices?"
...
"No."
...
Another hand rose.
"Then isn't that cruel?"
"What?"
"Someone can make a decision...
and someone they've never met can pay for it."
...
I looked around.
"Has humanity never done that before?"
...
Nobody answered.
...
Another reader raised his hand.
"Wait."
"What?"
"The father said his wife could decide where they lived."
"Yes."
"What if eventually they couldn't decide that anymore?"
...
Silence.
Another:
"How much money they saved."
...
"What if money stopped being what mattered?"
...
Another:
"How the children would be raised."
...
"What if the children had to grow up in a completely different world?"
...
Another:
"What they would eat."
...
"What if one day that wasn't simply a preference?"
...
Nobody laughed now.
...
A writer whispered:
"The small decisions."
I looked toward him.
"What about them?"
"They were the big ones."
...
"Always?"
He thought.
"Maybe."
...
Another reader raised her hand.
"Then what were the father's 'big decisions'?"
I asked:
"Jokes?"
"At the time."
"And later?"
...
She looked uncomfortable.
"Questions."
...
Interesting.
...
Another hand rose.
"Was this a Spoiler Yet to Be a Spoiler?"
I looked toward him.
"What was spoiled?"
"The future."
"Where?"
"In the joke."
"Which line?"
...
He couldn't choose one.
"The United States?"
"Why?"
"The World Cup?"
"Why?"
"Mars?"
"Why?"
"The phrase 'big decisions'?"
"Why?"
...
He stopped.
Another reader raised his hand.
"What if none of those are the spoiler?"
I turned.
"Then what is?"
He thought for a long time.
"The fact that ordinary people were talking about tomorrow
as if tomorrow was guaranteed."
...
The room became still.
...
Another writer spoke.
"They were planning marriages."
...
Another:
"Homes."
...
Another:
"Children."
...
Another:
"Savings."
...
Another:
"Food."
...
Another:
"Furniture."
...
I asked:
"And what does a person have to believe
before making plans like those?"
...
A reader answered quietly.
"That there will be a tomorrow."
...
I asked:
"Was there?"
...
Nobody answered.
...
Then another reader raised his hand.
"What decision started everything?"
...
I looked toward him.
"Do you want a name?"
"Maybe."
"A country?"
"Maybe."
"A leader?"
"Maybe."
"A date?"
"Maybe."
"A weapon?"
"Maybe."
...
I asked:
"What if you're asking the wrong question?"
He frowned.
"Then what's the right one?"
...
I looked at him.
"What if the biggest decision
wasn't the one that started the war?"
...
Silence.
"What if it was one made before anyone called it war?"
...
Another reader leaned forward.
"What decision?"
...
?????
...
Another hand immediately rose.
"Was it political?"
?????
"Military?"
?????
"Economic?"
?????
"Personal?"
?????
"Was it made by one person?"
?????
"Many?"
?????
"Did they understand what they were deciding?"
?????
"Could they have stopped?"
?????
"Did someone warn them?"
?????
"Did anyone listen?"
?????
...
The questions multiplied.
Then one reader asked something different.
"Did the father survive long enough
to realize his joke wasn't funny anymore?"
...
Nobody spoke.
I looked at him.
"Would knowing improve the joke?"
"No."
"Would it improve the story?"
"I don't know."
"Then perhaps you don't need the answer yet."
...
Another reader asked:
"What about the son?"
...
"His wife?"
...
"The home she was supposed to choose?"
...
"The children they were supposed to raise?"
...
"The money they were supposed to save?"
...
"The meals they were supposed to share?"
...
The room waited.
?????
...
A writer finally spoke.
"That's unfair."
I looked toward him.
"Why?"
"Because now when I read the original scene again...
it's still funny."
...
"But?"
"It hurts."
...
I asked:
"Did the words change?"
"No."
"Did the joke change?"
"No."
"Then what changed?"
...
"What I know comes after it."
...
Exactly.
...
A young man went to his father
because he was about to begin a life.
He asked how to make that life last.
His father joked about
the big decisions of the world.
Neither of them knew
how soon decisions made by people far beyond their home
could become decisions
their home would be forced to live with.
Or perhaps...
that isn't what this scene was telling you at all.
...
A reader looked at me.
"What else could it be telling us?"
I asked:
"What did the son originally ask his father?"
...
The reader remembered.
"The secret to a long and happy marriage."
"Long?"
...
The word stayed in the room.
Long.
...
Someone whispered:
"How long?"
...
I smiled.
"Now you're asking questions."
...
THE BIG DECISIONS.
Which decisions were actually big?
Which ones only looked small?
Who made them?
Who paid for them?
Which decision came first?
Which one could have stopped what followed?
Which decision has already appeared in NAFSAN STORY
without you recognizing it as a decision?
...
And the simplest question of all:
Did you think this was included
only because it was funny?
...
?????
— GAAFATAA
THE QUESTIONER