I got out of bed and tiptoed across the moldy remnants of my last few weeks, careful not to step on anything that might go ‘squish’. Grabbing a black hoodie and a pair of matching sweatpants, I leaned on the closet while pulling them on. We were at the end of January, and although snowstorm season was seemingly over (one never knew in New York though), the chill hadn’t completely left. It wouldn’t. At least, not for a long while. New York had a way about letting its people know things like that: this Winter would be a long one.
I got to the bathroom and looked at myself in the mirror.
“Jesus,” I muttered.
My dark gray hair had turned greasy from the lack of basic hygiene, looking all sticky and gross.My face was no better; it was breaking out.Where it wasn’t covered by weeks-old stubble, dozens of pimple colonies were breaking out.My eyes were bloodshot, most likely from lack of sleep.Just because I lay in bed didn’t mean I got sleep.At least, not the good quality kind.Where the veins were protruding; the sclera was yellowed.
I looked like shit. And it felt like it too.
I cupped my hand and breathed into it. After a few seconds, I sniffed.
I pulled away.
Finally working up the mental space to actually do something, I smeared toothpaste over my the toothbrush. I had to squeeze it like hell; the thing was pretty much empty. Growing annoyed, I began to twist the tube over and around, smooshing it into something ugly. I growled as I did it, wanting to slam my hand into the sink. Finally, I gave up and ran my toothbrush under the faucet.
Except nothing came out. No water.
The pipes. Goddammit, they had to be frozen. When was the last time I used the bathroom? I couldn’t remember. And in the middle of a winter like this in a trailer park, it was coming to bite me in the ass.
I kept trying, twisting the knob and trying to force it, like that would fix the ice in the pipes. In the back of my mind, I knew it was futile. There was no point. But I kept turning it, gripping the knob so hard that my fingers began to swell.
Nothing ever went fucking right. Fuck the stupid water. Why did Mina have to come now? Because of the stupid Society citizenry interviews? Did that even matter? It wasn’t like that was going to fix my life. They’d just name me the Shin Shaman and go back on their merry way. Tuition, college acceptance, my family—something ugly inside of me reared its head and it felt like I couldn’t breathe anymore.
“FUCK!” I screamed, slamming my fist into the knob and cutting the meat right down the side.
I hissed in pain, but didn’t even bother looking at the cut. The blood flowed freely.
Giving up on making myself presentable, I found myself in the living room, which was even more of a mess than my room was. I didn’t care. The pain was a distant memory in my mind, and the same numbness from before was back. For a moment, the pain had felt… not good, but it had released something. Stress, I think. It felt good to scream, though. I grabbed the first aid kit and wrapped the cut up without bothering to disinfect the wound.
When I turned to head towards the door, I found Hwari watching me.
“Is she still waiting?” I grunted. A part of me hoped Mina had gone back. Then I could get undressed and hop into bed, where I didn’t have to worry about the water, Society, or my imminent future.
I felt tired of all this shit already.
The tale has been illicitly lifted; should you spot it on Amazon, report the violation.
Karps don’t really have the same facial structures humans do. But I could tell that her attention was on the hand. Not on it, per se. But around the wound, like she was sniffing out the clusterfuck of emotions that radiated around the bandaged laceration.
“Hwari?” I repeated, walking over.
Hwari bobbed once, then joined me on my shoulder. ‘Yes, Caller. The Baek Scion waits outside.’
I grabbed my Eldritch Knife, feeling the slumbering presence within as a hum on my Sixth Sense. It did a lot of that lately. Granted, I hadn’t had reason to pick it up. I turned the doorknob halfway, felt it get stuck, and ended up kicking at it angrily until it finally opened up and let in a gust of freezing air.
Gods, it was cold.
Mina was waiting a few steps from the RV, the same place that she’d stood where she’d struck a deal with me to help me in the trial scarcely a month ago. Her familiar, a Haetae named Seoul, sat between her legs, panting.
Mina Baek, a girl from one of Society’s Practitioner Families with ancient highborne blood running through her veins—just like me. Except her family wasn’t ostracized for practicing the darker side of the occult like mine was.
Last month, she helped me pass the trial and gained enough influence to become the official liaison between the Society and the supernatural forces of New York. Not only that, she managed to snag an early admission to NYU. A school with so many zeroes in its tuition that I could only fantasize about attending one like it. Not only that, she was pretty like a K-pop idol: long black hair, long limbs, big eyes, the works. A headturner, for sure.
She was wearing the NYU sweatshirt under her parka.
I shoved my hands in my pockets and tried to look aloof. Wol was waiting for me on the steps.
“Practitioner Jain Shin Hallow,” she said. She didn’t say anything about my looks. Not only that, she said my full name and title. Official business, then.
“Mina,” I said. “What’s up?”
“What’s up? What do you mean what’s up?” Mina frowned. “Did you forget? The Society auditors are here today. Wol said he told you. Are you—” She stopped, blinked, then did a slow once-over that started at my feet and ended at my face. “You… you look like shit, Hallow.”
I wanted to shrink back into the shadows of the RV, slam the door in her face, and crawl back into bed. But I knew that wasn’t an option. The word ‘auditor’ had knocked loose something in my head, and I remembered the conversation with Wol.
“That’s today?” I asked.
“Today.” She sighed. “Hallow, I can’t push it back anymore. They were supposed to meet you three weeks ago. If you stall any longer than this, then some people in Society will make moves. Don’t give them the excuse to do it.”
I caught the underlying threat from her voice. Mina was a part of Society, and originally, her family was one of the ones who were after the Shin Inheritance as well. Not only that… she was one of the few who saw my dad leave my hospital room. She didn’t need to be a rocket scientist to know that my dad’s relationship and mine weren’t the best. Mina was smart. Capable too, if a little cocky.
But she was the closest thing I might have had to a friend.
I looked at the NYU logo on her sweatshirt again, feeling the pit in my chest sink down to my stomach. It was a mixture of shame, embarrassment, and panic.
I wished I didn’t care about stuff like that. But I did.
“Okay, I can see them today,” I muttered. “Are they here?”
“They’re waiting in a car nearby. You want to see them here?” She gave me a pointed look.
“I can choose?” I asked.
“Yeah. Unless you’re going to invite us inside, I would prefer not to meet here.”
“You have a preference?”
“Maybe some place where we can sit and eat? I’m starving,” she said.
“Uh.” My brain froze, and I said the first place that came to mind. “Murder Burger. It’s a few blocks down. I can see you all there.”
She nodded. “I’ll walk with you.”
I didn’t want to, but there wasn’t an excuse I could think of.“Let me get my bag,”I said and returned a moment later with my signature pink backpack with the words ‘Girl Power!’ outlined in green glitter.Wol took his usual spot inside the half-opened backpack, hanging onto one of my shoulders.I took the lead, Mina walking only a pace behind me.
Mina sniffed from behind me. “Hallow, you smell.”
“Stinky,” Seoul agreed.
I felt heat rise from my neck to my ears. “Pipes froze yesterday. No water.”
“You didn’t bother putting fire sigils on them?”
“Didn’t think I needed to,” I said. Mina was nosy by nature, and walking with her meant small talk. I didn’t want to have small talk.
“…Hallow, are you okay?”
I wasn’t. But I didn’t want her to know that either. It felt like if I admitted it to Mina while she was wearing that NYU sweatshirt, I’d be losing something. Something intangible, but real.
“I’m fine,” I lied. “Just a rough couple of days. I’ve never lived in an RV before. Well, not as a grown-up.”
We turned the corner and walked down the block. With the snowstorms gone, New Yorkers were walking around the streets again. Mina got a few stares, mostly from guys but a good number of girls too.
“How come you didn’t come out the last couple of times I came by? There’s stuff you need to know about the auditors. The process, the people, what will happen afterwards...”
“Just busy,” I replied, careful not to look at her. “You can fill me in now, if you want.”
“A little late for that.” She sniffed. “Hallow, you really smell.”
I gritted my teeth. “I know.”
“Stinky,” Seoul repeated.
Wol didn’t say anything, but I knew deep down he agreed.
I knew they weren’t, but it felt like they were ganging up on me. Picking on me, pointing out all the little things that made me embarrassed and self-conscious. Somehow, Wol’s silence became a part of that.
I felt alone again. Unseen. Like a piece of unnoticed trash near the sewer on a curb that no one even bothers kicking in.
Mina filled the awkward silence. “Well, at least we’re here now. We should catch up sometime.”
I bit my lip. “Nothing new with me.” I realized my mistake the moment I said it.
“What about college letters? You get any answers back?”
I wanted to turn around and go home.
“No.” I put every effort into trying to sound nonchalant.
From the corner of my eye, I saw the girl frown. “Oh,” she said.
The fire in my neck and ears burned hot.
We walked the rest of the way in silence.